Practical Exercises to Reduce Neediness, Social Anxiety and Raise Self-Esteem

[inthemiddle]

Hey guys,

It seems a huge part of success with women is based on dealing with these three things.

My question is what practical exercises can we do right now to deal with these issues? Mark writes that therapy was useful for overcoming inner issues. For those who can't afford therapy, is there some sort of 'self therapy' that we can use that gives similar results to in person therapy? There are so many programs and books out there about dealing with this sort of things, from EFT to 'releasing' to cbt, I am willing to commit time to deal with my issues, however, I just don't know where to start! I would really appreciate some guidance.

[Underbar]

It's very hard to give advice without knowing what kind of person you are and what situation you are in.

One thing that I found essential for me during this whole process is to keep a journal, a simple google document where I can write down a few lines about how I'm feeling and what I'm worrying about. The benefits of it can be hard to see at first but over time it will help reduce your anxiety (since you constantly see how shit you desperately worried about a month ago now seem like non-issues) and helps raise your self-esteem as you can see clear progress in your self improvement when reading through a journal spanning months.

Another thing that helps with anxiety and over-analysing is to have a friend that you can open up to and talk about what's worrying you etc.

But the most important thing for social anxiety is to constantly push yourself out of your social comfort zone and learning to take rejection and failure with a "fuck it at least I got some more experience"-attitude. Don't start in the deep end trying to pic up Russian models, maybe just inviting your friends over for a couple of beers is something you have never done then start with that. Keep pushing yourself and extend your social circle by being friendly and being the first to reach out.

[CHB2]

Having someone you can open up to has been one of the most important things for me. Part of what was so debilitating for me after breaking up with my girlfriend (it was a mutual break-up) was that she was really the only person who I felt comfortable sharing feelings with. It took me months to be able to open at all to even my closest friends about how I was feeling. Now I have 3 close friends who I feel comfortable sharing most things with, and it has really helped my mental state significantly.

All that said, that was helpful for me because I tend to be the type that bottles up his feelings. What are the specific issues that you feel are difficult?