"Our Baseline Happiness is How Much Control We Feel We Have" & Religion

[questra]

Mark, guys,

I was re-reading The Postmasculine Guide to Happiness and have a question regarding control and baseline happiness:

"People who feel they have little to no control over where they’re going suffer from low baseline levels of happiness, regardless of the destinations and experiences they have along the way. People who feel they have complete control of where they’re going have high baseline levels of happiness, regardless of the quality of destinations they go to."

From my observations and personal experience this is very true. I've met countless unhappy people who all seem to have the same characteristic of feeling helpless/no control in their lives. In my personal experience, taking responsibility and ownership for things happening in my own life has made me a lot happier and more confident.

My question is about deeply religious people. Christianity, or at least the way I was taught speaks of 'surrendering will to God', which I understand as putting faith, trust and control over one's direction in life to God. Which seems to be 'giving away' control of one's life. Obviously, there are plenty of unhappy deeply religious people out there - but there are also a lot who genuinely seem to be happy, contented despite apparently 'surrendering' control of their lives.

Is it because the absolute faith that a higher being is in control of their lives gives them the SAME happiness as others (like us) believing we're in control of our own lives?

Really curious to know your thoughts.

[Tim]

I don't think it's necessarily surrendering control of your life. If you say 'well it's all in God's hands' and then sit back and do nothing, then yes you're giving up responsibility. But if you believe that you still are responsible for taking control of your life, and that God is just watching over to help you through it then you can still be as responsible as an atheist. Basically it comes down to whether they live out the Christian saying 'god helps those who help themselves'.

[Mark]

I think I mention it in the article but studies have actually found that being part of a religious group makes people happier on average (and live longer). I think there are a few reasons. One is it helps prevent that worship of external things, such as prestige or status, it helps keep people centered and gracious for what they have and what they enjoy doing. It also build strong networks and community's.

[Joey]

This question really makes you think.

There are a lot of people out there who talk the talk but don't walk the walk. You can sit in your home and read the bible your whole life and still not fully understand what it means. I think this is partly why some christains just are not happy, because some go to church sit there, listen, when they leave do not take resposibility and don't pracitice what was learned. God will not force him self or his will on you because he knows your heart. But when you take responsibility to practice his ways and seek him out you will understand and have a greater appriciation for what God wants to teach and show you then happyness and will joy come.

The thing is God does not have control over your life you will always have free will weather you choose to be a christain or not.

When Christains talk about "surrendering their lives" they are talking about giving up the things that control them... Alchohol, drugs, Porn, Stealing, abuse... They are acknoloding to God and surrendering these bad issues that used to define them and control their actions and thoughts.

[Dragonslayer]

I agree with most of what you all have posted above. But I think there is another aspect in religion that can make people feel that they have control over their lives:

If you believe, that believing in God lead to salvation, than this automatically means that you have control of the most important aspect of your life, because ultimately it's you decision, whether you “choose” to believe in God or not.

[wavering_radiant]

I think that the teachings of some religions inhibit people from truly standing up for themselves when dealing with shitty people. I really don't understand how anyone is supposed to learn to stand up for themselves if they're an adherent of a religion that teaches them that they must "turn the other cheek" and "love your enemy". If someone's allowing themselves to be walked over people constantly instead of standing up for themselves, then I can't imagine that person will be a very happy person and/or feel in control of their life.

And I don't understand how deciding in favor of salvation is an increase in one's personal control over life. If you are so helpless and trapped in "sin" that you need God to come and "save" you, then I can't imagine that a person who truly believes this would feel anything but feeble and weak. And there are a lot of Christians who would say (and I think that they would be biblically correct) that even the act of choosing to believe in God so as to be saved requires the grace of God and cannot be accomplished by one's self. So I don't see how believing in God would represent personal control. And I think with some of the biblical passages on predestination, I think belief in God can lead to the opposite conclusion.

I don't believe in God at all though, so this isn't a problem for me, but I'll admit that materialism/naturalism logically leads to the conclusion that there is no free will, which I think is just as problematic for a sense of personal control as in the case of religion. I don't think either belief system leads to any sense of personal control, so I guess I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

[middleway]

I will chime in here with a couple of things, sorry if its a bit wordy...

The mundane religious interpretation of 'surrender' is to have faith that things will work out, even while having the moment to moment illusion of freewill from a 1st person subjective point of view.

The interpretation of 'surrender' within spiritual practice, is to get to a point where it can be seen effortlessly from a 1st person subjective point of view that intentions are not independently originated by a personal self.

This spiritual sort of surrender should not be confused with fatalism. It does tend to coincide with a substantial decrease in suffering.

For a more scientific / analytic philosophy oriented view on our lack of free will and control see the following by best selling author / neuroscientist Sam Harris:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dodTNPp12rg