OMG WOW, wow, I can't believe it, came this far and still it comes back!

[Traindom]

(05-16-2012 01:52 PM)Reesays Wrote:  Here is my goal: You guys tell me how tough it would be to accomplish.

I want to move to California (Southern Cal), get a good social life, make friends of all backgrounds, have a great social network, and date women of all backgrounds (White especially since I have been basically shut off and stopped from doing that down south). I also want to be viewed in the same light as the White guy.

By saying you want to be viewed in the same light as the white guy, you're already psyching yourself out, man. It sounds like you don't think you're good enough.

My sister is surrounded by Indian guys because she lives in Los Angeles. Among her social circle, I've never seen a visible difference between races. Never. It's something that I do not even think about. I didn't particularly care about their race until I consciously recalled it now. If I were to think back to those guys under different circumstances, I wouldn't say, "Those Indian guys." I'd say, "Those guys." They were all the same to me. Indians and whites. And until you see people like this, you're going to have it hanging over your head.

Stop caring about who has it easier. Even if it were as absolute as you make it out to be, what the hell does ingraining it in your head do? Nothing, man, but screw your mind.

I'm sure there's people out there that will reject me because I'm Puerto Rican. Don't debate me on this. There really are people who don't particularly like people like me, especially other Hispanics, and dislike our accent. If I look hard, I'll find these people, but why would I focus on these people? I'm not being ignorant. I know some people will write me off. But why bother with these people? If anything, it makes it easier to find the right people. I'm still proud of my heritage and accent, regardless of what others think.

You'd say I have it easier than you, but I don't focus on it. You believe there's a negative stigma to Indian men because that's what you've looked for. I agree with SeXyBaCk. Go travel the world and see that it's not so bad.

[JYL]

Bro, I just signed up for these boards and I'm replying as first post to your thread because I can identify somewhat (I read your other thread too on academic opportunities) and relate to you. I screwed up academics hardcore in high school by not trying and slacking off despite being intelligent (really not trying to brag here), acing test scores but never applied myself. anyways, that's not the point here so.

I'm Asian (east asian, but we have the same stereotypes as Indians pretty much), 19 years old as well, and missed a lot of opportunities in the past that's holding me back, even to this day. I had similar insecurities in the past, some I overcame, some I haven't. I was semi-insecure about being Asian in high school as I grew up in a predominantly White area, but there were enough asians and I quickly realized this was bs, especially as I dated a few white girls/slept with them. This happened within the span of a few years (around 17 I slowly became more and more confident in myself), as I stopped putting girls on a pedestal and caring about my race. It helps that I have rather good, masculine looks and decent height, but still, nothing happened until I changed my attitude.

I'm far from being where I want to be, but I realized that worrying about shiet you can't control...is pointless. Common sense, but still. you're gonna wake up Indian tomorrow, I'm gonna wake up Asian. So we might as well work on stuff we can change, like working out, finding interesting hobbies, etc. Reading sites/articles like this and perspectives from these guys have blown my mind on what's possible and what's actually going on.

also, I'm from California and if your problem is a mentality/inner struggle it will be similar anywhere, but I have to admit it's nice here. not saying it's a cure for everything, but overall just because of sheer numbers (of Asians/Indians, diversity), urbanity, multiculturalism and so on, interracial couples are a lot more common here and not a big of a deal, it's also a nice place to live so definitely consider it.

By the way, I didn't really type this way in the tone of me giving advice or sounding like I'm more knowledgeable or anything, more as a way to identify and improve...both you and I.

[Tim]

Great start on the boards JYL, welcome. Good to get that honest and balanced perspective.

[baller08]

(05-17-2012 08:59 AM)JYL Wrote:  I'm Asian (east asian, but we have the same stereotypes as Indians pretty much), 19 years old as well, and missed a lot of opportunities in the past that's holding me back, even to this day. I had similar insecurities in the past, some I overcame, some I haven't. I was semi-insecure about being Asian in high school as I grew up in a predominantly White area, but there were enough asians and I quickly realized this was bs, especially as I dated a few white girls/slept with them. This happened within the span of a few years (around 17 I slowly became more and more confident in myself), as I stopped putting girls on a pedestal and caring about my race. It helps that I have rather good, masculine looks and decent height, but still, nothing happened until I changed my attitude.

I'm far from being where I want to be, but I realized that worrying about shiet you can't control...is pointless. Common sense, but still. you're gonna wake up Indian tomorrow, I'm gonna wake up Asian. So we might as well work on stuff we can change, like working out, finding interesting hobbies, etc.

Now THIS is the type of attitude that separates the attractive man from the unattractive one.

This young man gets it.

Weak men say, "I need a role model to inspire me". Strong men say, "I'm going to be a role model to inspire others".

[Reesays]

been keeping away from online forums and such pretty much and staying committed to tasks like volunteering and getting involved

[reeturn]

Usually just flee when banned but for the first time ever, on a forum, I actually did see people helping me and giving it all they had.

I went to go eat dinner (whenever I do this after posting on a forum, bad things happen as I cannot be active in editting something or making it a bit more clear).

The ban date is a little, well, unrealistic.

Just today, after coming back from the mall, after all I did, and after all this, I mean you guys literally tried to help me more than real life friends, just reading back at the posts now. If my real life friends read any of the sh*t I posted, I would not have friends.

This summer I have two classes, I am still going to California (planned before the bet with that guy even started), and I have found that after reading the PUA camp or whatever blog, confidence does not just magically happen after reading some stuff online or even seeing it.

My last post came off as extremely bitter and unreasonable and I went from showing progress to being mentally ill.

I have found that sometimes things are not meant to be. If the creator, life, chance, or whatever you want to believe in wanted me to be your typical high school kid or college kid getting wild, being confident, and getting with girls then at least the structure or something of the sort would have been there. Chance itself would have given me some figure in real life in form of friends, parenting, or whatever to drag me in and show me the way. All great people have their tutors or some guide to go by.

I finally got my guide and well, I truly did blow it. I had a chance to read back at all of my posts and I have done it before but truly has advice given to me fallen on deaf ears.

Just want to say that whatever I might have said while bitter was truly messed up and I appreciate all of you doing more than just helping me. Truly wish the 500 bet could go through but eh, some other time I guess. Regardless, I want to thank everyone, especially zac, for taking lots of time out of their lives to help me and I regret not being the best student in this regard.

If I could do it all over again, I would make a thread, not even post on it, and just say "here you go, give all your advice to reesays", and not even reply to the thread, just read the whole advice and not reply to the whole thread.

This is my only post on this account. If the other one gets unbanned or whatever then maybe I will update but regardless. Thanks to all.

[Traindom]

This ban may be the best thing this forum has done for him. Good luck, Reesays. I really do wish you the best. This feels like a sad goodbye . It's for the best. Bye dude.

[machismo307]

ok look im going to tell you this, im an indian guy, i was born n raised in india, was pretty westernized, but people like me who are consciously aware of other cultures are a minority, i travel a lot, im only 23 , ive slept with 4 white girls i have low confidence, self esteem and body image and i have a liver prob so i cant drink for a lil while, but ive been hit on 10 or 12 times, im a fairly handsome dude , so i wont lie, it wont happen to everyone, im a lil overweight, u cant see it with clothes on, but im hideous with them off, but let me tell ya something, ive met some really nice american girls from indiana , you could go there, dont go to areas with lots of indians , a lot of the negative image of indians is due to south indians ,they are weird n annoying people, and have no game and embarass themselves, but i have been hit on in every part of the world and women have taken interest in me almost everywhere and in an almost obvious fashion , a beautiful redhead in tampa(wow beautiful) at a hollister store in tampa, a good looking blonde in new york , a half latina half white in NYC, a beautiful blonde in Interlaken , switzerland, a hot tour guide in Ukraine, a beautiful blonde in Ukraine who was feeling me up at a clothes store, she was measuring me a little too physically, soft touches n all, a cute store worker in prague , when i was 16 an american girl in india, smiled at me and approached me, SHE WAS A 9 , and loads of others, so ive been hit on worldwide by three 9's , four 8's , two 7's and a bunch of other lower grades, but im tall too , look i know the south is fucked up , but trust me CALI will be better for you as it accepts multiculturalism and interracial relationships , when i moved to the uk where i live now, i ve been sick and cant drink alcohol for a little while longer so i cant go full on , but ive been hit on 10 or 12 times, i think two or three were blonde, some were very hot , but i was paranoid about racism , like you so i didnt do anything and i regret it cos i could have had some gorgeous girls if i wasnt so paranoid, just be cool, acquaint yourself with a lot of american TV, just so you dont feel out of place in conversations sometimes,but i blame all my insecurities on my own shortcomings and not the shortcomings of my race , im not very light skinned , im just handsome so dont be afraid , just dont be afraid and dont let the past get you hung up, keep trying and im sure you will get laid, dont be desperate AND THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT, HAVE FUN WITH HER, DONT MAKE IT ALL ABOUT SEX, MAKE JOKES, DONT KEEP MAKING MOVES, JUST KEEP ESCALATING TILL YOU MAKE A MOVE

[ticktock]

Indian or not indian... so long as you are kind to the girl you love, and if you love her with all you have, then if she's like you, she'll love you back. The dating game is really about trying to find that other half. If you don't believe in destiny, then you're in for one long and uncertain hunt. In the end, it boils down to the person you are, and aim to become. Life is a journey about many things, and what you have are your markers.