Normal success rate (?)

[I_Dare]

hey guys. I'm curious...what's a normal success rate? Mark is a bit vague in his book. He wrote something in the lines of "either way 90% will reject you". Is it really like that even for a cool guy...to have 9 out of 10 women reject him?

[Trickster]

I guess on the whole you get rejected more than "accepted" but thinking about it and keeping track of it in terms of numbers is really a waste of time. I stopped keeping track of my "successes" and it stopped mattering.

[Mountainman]

(05-28-2012 01:40 PM)IulianC Wrote:  Is it really like that even for a cool guy...to have 9 out of 10 women reject him?

A cool guy doesn't give a shit.

[Jani]

It depends on what you see as a rejection??
Your success rate for getting phone numbers is going to be a lot higher than that.

My mindset of life is that I will fail for 80% of what I do, but I will succeed 20% of the time. It's just a matter of never giving up.

It's like in baseball, where 3/10 is a very good score.
Babe Ruth has the records for the most home runs, but also for the most strike-outs.

Life is (partially) a numbers game. You need to realize that as quick as possible, and using it to your advantage.

[Tim]

A success rate isn't measured by how many women reject you, because your success isn't measured by how many women you get out out of how many you go for. Success is your happiness with the quality of your relationships with women. If you meet one woman and you love each other for the rest of your life, that's success. If you sleep with 100 women and you have amazing experiences with each one that leaves you deeply fulfilled, that's success. If you meet one woman and you live out a miserable existence together for the rest of your life, that's failure. If you sleep with 100 women and are left more unhappy and empty by each one, that's failure.

How does that relate to 'rejection'? Effort to reward ratio. You want to put in the least amount of effort to meet the most suitable women for you. Paradoxically, this isn't about avoiding rejection. This is covered extensively in Models, but basically you should expect to not relate to the vast majority of women you meet. That number is likely to be as high as 90%. Think about; if you walked down the main street of the city you live in right now, and stopped 10 women you were physically attracted to, how many do you think would end up being compatible with you, even for a casual relationship? The vast majority are simply not going to be attracted to you, because people are so different that a complete random meeting is unlikely to pair two compatible people.

So, the best realization you can take from this is that you set your dating life up to meet the most compatible women. The most immediate way you can do this is to set up how you meet women. Your social circle is the most obvious way to do this, because chances are if a woman is friends with a friend of yours, you have a lot in common. Engaging in your passions/hobbies in a social way is another great way. If you love yoga, and you find a woman who does too, and you can talk about the various asanas for hours, chances are you'll be compatible beyond that too. Or maybe you're a gun nut (please don't be), and if you go to an NRA meeting you'll find someone who shares your extremist views on immigrations laws and the South's secession from the North.

Beyond this, you can lower your rejection rate by becoming less judgmental, by learning to relate to a variety of people, and by working on yourself as a man.

If you do all of this, you'll still likely end up with a rejection rate of something like 90%, maybe more. Most of them won't feel like rejections though. You'll go up to an attractive woman and start talking to her about yoga, or guns, or whatever, and she'll show no interest in it. And then she'll do the same about some other topic, and you'll realize you're not really interested. So one of you will excuse yourself politely and you'll both continue going about your day, not really minding that you didn't connect, because there's countless other women that you do connect with. If you can get to that point, that's when you know you'll have a high success rate.

[Jon]

(05-28-2012 01:40 PM)IulianC Wrote:  hey guys. I'm curious...what's a normal success rate? Mark is a bit vague in his book. He wrote something in the lines of "either way 90% will reject you". Is it really like that even for a cool guy...to have 9 out of 10 women reject him?

Or more, depending on circumstances.

[Zac]

I'm glad 90% of women reject me because I wouldn't want to date those 90%

Read models man. Check the sticky

[Mark]

You should stop caring how many reject you.

[SeXyBaCk]

Yeah just don't take notice. Don't keep numbers either. Talk to women. The ones you like you flirt with. Then who knows. Either something happens or it doesn't. Again, statistics, numbers, percentages, you're using the wrong part of your brain.

[I_Dare]

Let me know if I got it correctly... are you saying you have to approach around 100 women you find attractive to get 8 girls? Doesn't sound that great...

[Zac]

Would you prefer all 100? What percentage would bring you happiness? I'm probably more at like 3% and I couldn't be happier.

[Tim]

If you stick with that mentality, then yes it's going to suck. Reread the answers to this post, and if it still doesn't make sense then I'd suggest only something as in-depth as Models (and particularly the sections on demographics and rejections) will properly explain it.

[Trickster]

(05-28-2012 04:18 PM)IulianC Wrote:  Let me know if I got it correctly... are you saying you have to approach around 100 women you find attractive to get 8 girls? Doesn't sound that great...

Hooking up with 8 hot girls sounds pretty fucking great to me.

---

Seriously dude, you need to stop seeing your success in terms of what you can't do as opposed to in terms of what have done.

[I_Dare]

yeah but approaching 100 and getting rejected by 92 sucks.

[Zac]

What sucks about it

[Trickster]

(05-28-2012 04:50 PM)IulianC Wrote:  yeah but approaching 100 and getting rejected by 92 sucks.

If you think about that way, of course it sucks. I'm beginning to think you're not getting the point...

[kaizen]

(05-28-2012 04:18 PM)IulianC Wrote:  Let me know if I got it correctly... are you saying you have to approach around 100 women you find attractive to get 8 girls? Doesn't sound that great...

Admittedly I am a noob at this, and initially this "success rate" seemed pretty dismal. But I after reading Paul Janka, I was convinced other wise. I quote him:

Quote:The 11% Rule
I fuck 11% of the girls whose number I get. I work hard and “number close” a hundred girls and I’m rewarded with sex with eleven of them. What do we make of this number, eleven? It’s just barely a double-digit figure. In some situations, 11% is a poor showing. Getting an eleven on a math test is abysmal. However, an 11% return on an investment isn’t terrible, if economic conditions are rough. A defect rate at a Toyota plant of 11% wouldn’t be acceptable. So it’s the context that’s important. 11% may seem low at first blush, but it’s actually quite a strong number.

Once you get your game strong and resilient, you’ll attempt to meet almost every cute girl that crosses the transom. If you live in a target-rich environment, like a big city, you’ll probably cross forty cute girls a day. You can see where this is going…

To illustrate, I’ll take a look at my week just passed. I had sex with 5 girls from Friday to Wednesday night ... And this, of course is without spending a nickel, or doing much more than chatting for a few seconds and then texting at various points through the day. Here’s one more thing that’s worth considering. I said it may have taken me 45 “number closes” to fuck 5 girls.

On the front end, 45 number closes are easy in the course of a week. They wouldn’t have been in the beginning, but now with my game so tight I can accomplish that over the course of the week just running errands and getting coffee and grocery shopping. If each one takes about a minute, that’s less than an hour of work to fuck 5 girls. Most guys put in more than an hour on a first date with some chick and they may not even fuck her. Granted, there’s the time need for text follow-up but that’s fun (usually), it can be done anywhere and it’s a process that’s dynamic, meaning I sense pretty quickly which ones will play and I don’t spend much time on the duds. Pick your strategy. I’ve settled on this right now because it’s the most powerful game I’ve seen. And I’ve run with some strong players here in NYC.

---------------------------------------------------
Edit: In other words, can you get two numbers every day? If so, you can sleep with one girl at the end of the week? How's that? (Damn, not to be so preachy, but writing this made me realize how attainable this is.).

[I_Dare]

I'm only interested in girls around my age (19-23) and that I find attractive (and don't dress like shit). Getting rejected by 92% of the girls that fit that description and that I approach would make me feel pretty much like a failure not as a successful guy who worked at bettering himself.

[Trickster]

(05-28-2012 05:16 PM)IulianC Wrote:  I'm only interested in girls around my age (19-23) and that I find attractive (and don't dress like shit). Getting rejected by 92% of the girls that fit that description and that I approach would make me feel pretty much like a failure not as a successful guy who worked at bettering himself.

Then stop counting. This is life. This isn't a videogame. Happiness and human interactions can't be quantified in such a rote manner. Do you keep count how many friends you have and do you put the amount of people you meet who don't become your friends into the denominator? No, because that's fucking weird behavior and not healthy. Same thing with romantic relationships, man.

[Zac]

(05-28-2012 05:16 PM)IulianC Wrote:  I'm only interested in girls around my age (19-23) and that I find attractive (and don't dress like shit). Getting rejected by 92% of the girls that fit that description and that I approach would make me feel pretty much like a failure not as a successful guy who worked at bettering himself.

See, you've already rejected 92% of girls by saying that. You are doing the same thing. It's natural and the only way to find what you really want in life.

[Jon]

(05-28-2012 05:16 PM)IulianC Wrote:  I'm only interested in girls around my age (19-23) and that I find attractive (and don't dress like shit). Getting rejected by 92% of the girls that fit that description and that I approach would make me feel pretty much like a failure not as a successful guy who worked at bettering himself.

The world is the way it is. Fix your attitude. Half of those women have boyfriends, a few will be lesbians, some you will not get along with, and some have a particular physical type that you do not fit into (whatever you look like).

[Jani]

Don't live in hollywood. Most men doesn't fuck more than 10 girls in their entire life!!

[Halo Effect]

(05-28-2012 04:18 PM)IulianC Wrote:  Let me know if I got it correctly... are you saying you have to approach around 100 women you find attractive to get 8 girls? Doesn't sound that great...

Have you had sex with 8 girls in your life?

Have you dated 8 girls in your life?

You are aware of the fact that you could easily approach 100 girls in one month? Some have done more in a week. I believe the average man has sex with around 8 women in his whole LIFE. And those girls are not all attractive! Are you right now complaining that you could potentially meet a new girl that you click with every day, if you approach 12 girls a day?

Or you want to date more than 8 women? Do you realize it's impossible to date 8 women at a time? If you truly were that successful you would have to start rejecting girls because you simply didn't have time for more girls in your life.

Iulian, have you ever dated a girl that you were not completely compatible with? How about a girl that was just not right for you at all, that irritated you or made your life miserable?

There are many girls that you do NOT want in your life for obvious reasons (personality disorders, drama queens, etc.) Then there are even more women that things will not work out with for less obvious reasons, like different life values, different interests, different life philosophy/religion, being sexually incompatible, having different expectations of the relationship, and so on. Regardless of what you're like, you will only connect with a small minority of women on a deep level. You are incompaitble with the majority of women.

If you're looking for a relationship, you want to lose these girls as soon as possible. If they would instantly reject you when you approach, that is awesome, because it saves you shitloads of time and emotional energy.

The fact that you want most girls to not reject you shows that you lack experience or knowledge. You are in your head. Get off your high horse and get laid.

[Zac]

Halo just dropped knowledge.

[I_Dare]

I'll read your posts in the morning. It's night in my country and I took some pills (have a pretty fucked up health problem). Thanks for the long post, Halo. Will read it in the morning.