More damn questions for Mark

[sledgehammer]

Ok more questions, uuuh I might be a pain in the ass but anyway, you seem kinda active on the forums so whatever. I need to get rid of the bad RSD brainwashing but keep the few good stuff.

Somethings Ive noticed in the community is the different "outer game systems" is very similar. Like, you have mystery method which is: Open, attract, qualify, seduction, sex. Then you have Rob and Zack FERA system which is: Focus, get her emotionally invested, rapport, arousal. Then you have afc adam which is: superficial comfort, break rapport, qualification/sexual attraction. Then you have RSD foundations which is: Open, Hook, Touch, Vibe, Qualify, Venue Change/number/sex.

It all seems to be the same shit, basicly. Am I correct? First you Start a conversation, then you spike it with emotional shit, then you get her to contribute to the conversation (qualification), keep the emotional spiking up and then get to know eachother (comfort), aswell as moving forward sexually based on the girls sexual comfort levels.

Am I correct?


Anyway, Tyler like to talk about "walking thru the world with ease", I never really grasped this concept, but since u have watched alot of the blueprint whats your opinion on this? Is it just "feeling good about yourself", right? Or is it some magical shit that when you "walk thru the world with ease" girls throw themselves at you? WTF does it even mean?


Then State, wtf is state really? Isnt there alot of different states? Like you cant just be IN state or OUT of state, isnt there also like a "horny state", a "happy state", an "angry state" yada yada yada? So what the fuck does he mean when he say that you should be in state? WHAT state? happy state?


Tyler say that in any social interaction (with a girl, in this case), one is reacting more than the other. Isnt a better way to put it that you shouldnt be validation seeking? You can absolutely want her to "react" to what you say, OFCOURSE, thats why you are there, to fucking get her to talk to you, BUT you should NOT base your SENSE OF SELF, your VALIDATION on her response. Am I correct? I kinda figured out that one for myself, lol, but just want it confirmed. As I stated in another thread, this goes hand in hand with your "being vulnerable", right? When you allow urself to be vulnerable you dont look for so much validation when talking to the girl which results in you not being "reactive to her validation", right?


Theres also alot of talk about Frame Control in the PU community, is this something to care about or is it just nonsense?


Also, whats your opinion on different push/pull stuff, playful "negging" etc? I guess its all good as long as you can be vulnerable, right?

Do you have any opinion on "having presence", "being present" and all that shit RSD talks about? Is it important to develop "presence" ?


And yeah, last question. I live in a town with like 120.000 people, not that many. What, in your opinion, is the best "strategy" here? I would guess not being that aggressive sexually risking getting some weird reputation, but instead being more of a social confident guy who aint over sexual but also not a wussy, who create social bonds with alot of different people which results in alot of opportunities, is preferable. Or what would you say?


Hmm I think thats the end of my endless newbie questions. I would appreciate if you could take some time to respond to these questions, just some straightforward answers which hopefully get my head straight.

Thank guys

[Mark]

Yeah, most outer game stuff is the same shit regurgitated over and over again. There's really only so much to it: you meet them, get them interested, connect with them, escalate. Call those things whatever you want, but it's the same four things.

"Walking through the world with ease" or "presence" is just being confident and comfortable with yourself. This is my main gripe with the Blueprint, Tyler rambles on about stuff like this for hours and never gives guys any actionable advice for how to actually achieve confidence. He just kinds of describes it and says, "That's how you should be." Not very helpful. Can even be harmful.

State is basically just a fancy way for how you feel. States transfer from person to person. I.e., emotions are contagious. Simple concept. Blown way out of proportion.

Yes, I explain my book why labeling confident behavior as "being unreactive" is a poor way to define it. Being unreactive is a side-effect of being confident, not a cause. And yes, not seeking validation and being non-needy are more accurate labels in my opinion, which is why I use them. I spent a lot of time thinking about the exact terms I was going to use in Chapters 1-4, and "non-needy" is the best one and most accurate one I could come up with.

Frame control is again, just a side-effect of being confident and non-needy. Trying to "learn" frame control is kind of pointless. If you handle the internal stuff, frame control takes care of itself. It basically represents an ability for you to stand up for yourself and your ability to influence others.

Push/pull, negging, teasing, banter, it's all fun and useful at times. It's icing on the cake though. See Chapter 13.

Don't worry about reputation so much. People honestly don't care that much about you (no offense, most people don't care that much about anyone). Be aggressive. The difference in a small town versus a big city is that it's far more useful to network yourself well in a small town because it's much easier to take advantage of social proof. Chances are if you go out a lot, you'll run into the same people regularly. You can use this to your advantage. I have a good friend who lives in a town of a couple hundred thousand in New Hampshire, and he's so ridiculously networked there that the girls basically come to him at this point.

And you're lucky I type really fast, otherwise I'd tell you to buy a consultation or something.

[sledgehammer]

Thanks for your answer, it confirmed that what I thaught is true.

Its funny, cause ever since watching blueprint, its like Ive taken the stuff that before was "common sense" to me, like "yeah you should be confident", then it has gotten me to second guess it, like "hmm maybe its something more behind it??", its like I constantly feel I havent "understood it yet" hence keep running these crazy concepts like state and unreactiveness in my mind whereas before it was just OBVIOUS that you shouldnt be "inside your head" or in an "analytical headspace" while out clubbing.

I feel like Tyler took alot of common sense shit and made it sound more advanced than it is, renaming them and shit, taking basic psychological common sense and putting another word on it from eastern philosophy, keeping people in an endless circle of mental masturbation.

It feel redicilous when someone points it out to me, I remember some months ago I was talking with a natural buddy of mine, and I told him about these concepts of being unreactive and in state and yada yada, and hes like "so bascily ur telling me its good to be confident and not feel like crap? yeah thanks mr obvious". I feel like "uuuh DUH he is right, why the fuck am I breaking such a simple concept down into different micro concepts??" lol.

[Mark]

Quote:I feel like Tyler took alot of common sense shit and made it sound more advanced than it is, renaming them and shit, taking basic psychological common sense and putting another word on it from eastern philosophy, keeping people in an endless circle of mental masturbation.

Yup. Basically imagine if some high school senior did a 20-hour book report on "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, "Unlimited Power" by Anthony Robbins, and "Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida, cited none of them, while mixing in lame stories about him and his friends in between, and got a B- on it, and that's basically The Blueprint.

I often recommend this article for guys in your situation:
http://www.practicalpickup.com/the-guide-to-a-pua-detox

[sledgehammer]

Mark Wrote:Yup. Basically imagine if some high school senior did a 20-hour book report on "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, "Unlimited Power" by Anthony Robbins, and "Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida, cited none of them, while mixing in lame stories about him and his friends in between, and got a B- on it, and that's basically The Blueprint.

I often recommend this article for guys in your situation:
http://www.practicalpickup.com/the-guide-to-a-pua-detox

Thanks, Ill check the article.

Yes the funny thing is that Tyler states he never watched robbins before doing the blueprint. He also states he came up with ALL the concepts in blueprint of his own, but later on replaced some of the words cause of the fact people were more familiar to guys like eckard tolle and tony robbins therefor could connect with the concepts easier.

So basicly he came up with these conclusions on his own, according to himself. He says this in numerous of threads on rsdnation.

Btw, u have any articles how to be good at social networking?

[sledgehammer]

Read the pua detox and some other articles, its fucking sick how good you are at cutting out the bullshit and getting to the point with your articles. It is, very, "practical", keep up the good work.

[Brian]

Here's more anti-rsd conditioning. Read mark's 80/20 rules: http://postmasculine.com/80-20-rule

Some of the stuff right there are completely anti-rsd. Tyler said looks make ZERO effect on your game. Guess what, looks is more important than the "clever things you say" base on mark's post.

Tyler said, social circle is completely USELESS. Ugh, my natural buddy fucked 3 girls within 2 hours at his own house party. Show me a guy who can cold approach and fuck 3 HOT girls in one night. Hell, show me a guy who can cold approach and fuck 3 fat chicks!!

If you have a 6 pack, you're relax, you're non needy, you're sexual and you have a super solid social circle, you will get laid more than most pua cold approaching and with hotter chicks! That is completely the opposite of rsd who thinks they must "lord the room" or other gimmick bullshit.

I'll give you two examples and you let me know who is more likely to get laid.

Example 1: a dude who have 6 pack, social circle full of hot chicks, at his house party full of his friends liking him. He's just chillin and being cool with his friends and chicks randomly approach him and doing shot with him.

Example 2: An rsd student, who believes that looks have ZERO effect so he's a fucking fat ass. He claws women outside of their bathroom(yes, i've met rsd guys who does this), who constantly worries about state, who must be an obnoxious piece of shit and tries to out-alpha and amog everyone etc.

Which guy do you think gets more success with chicks?

[Leo]

Mark Wrote:And yes, not seeking validation and being non-needy are more accurate labels in my opinion, which is why I use them. I spent a lot of time thinking about the exact terms I was going to use in Chapters 1-4, and "non-needy" is the best one and most accurate one I could come up with.

Funny, to be honest when I read your book I couldn't understand that term so easily but when I tried to understand what were you saying I noticed that I think in the same way, just that I say: If I hit on that girl and it works out, it's ok; if it doesn't work out it's fine too. BUT when I like the girl A LOT I get way too emotionally involved, I care too much about her and the outcome, I forget that there are a lot more women out there and I behave like a weirdo. When I hit on women that I don't like that much I don't behave like this because I don't give a shit about the outcome, therefore I'm a lot more relaxed and attractive. I have to remind myself constantly to don't care about the outcome, and that I'm gonna be fine no matter what.

[Todd1]

About a year ago when I first started reading dating advice I went through a chubby chasing stage. Looking back it had to do with caring too much about the outcome with really hot girls. When I talked with girls I thought were less attractive I didn't care how the interaction turned out and a lot of times things just happened naturally. Mark said the biggest influence on picking up hot girls was forgetting how good looking they are. I definitely think this is true but it's a lot easier said then done.

[Leo]

I think it's something you have to do to get desensitized and prove to yourself and your brain that can be done. In the beginning just approaching ANY woman was a huge challenge for me because of the high level of anxiety I used to have. It's easier now.

Todd1 Wrote:About a year ago when I first started reading dating advice I went through a chubby chasing stage. Looking back it had to do with caring too much about the outcome with really hot girls. When I talked with girls I thought were less attractive I didn't care how the interaction turned out and a lot of times things just happened naturally. Mark said the biggest influence on picking up hot girls was forgetting how good looking they are. I definitely think this is true but it's a lot easier said then done.

[Edmond Dantès]

Guys, please get RSD out of your head NOW. It is so tiring to read all the "But Tyler said..." -posts. RSD is no good, it makes you a weirdo, who thinks too much about stuff that doesn't matter and this blocks your ability to physically take action on the really important topics.

I am so glad that I never went into this stuff, seems to fuck up a lot of minds.

Brian posted the right link for you guys.

[Todd1]

Edmond Dantès Wrote:Guys, please get RSD out of your head NOW. It is so tiring to read all the "But Tyler said..." -posts. RSD is no good, it makes you a weirdo, who thinks too much about stuff that doesn't matter and this blocks your ability to physically take action on the really important topics.

I am so glad that I never went into this stuff, seems to fuck up a lot of minds.

Brian posted the right link for you guys.

Can't speak for others but I never read RSD stuff. Looking back I'm glad to have found G3 early on so I didn't get into a lot of the bs material out there.

[Mark]

Todd1 Wrote:About a year ago when I first started reading dating advice I went through a chubby chasing stage. Looking back it had to do with caring too much about the outcome with really hot girls. When I talked with girls I thought were less attractive I didn't care how the interaction turned out and a lot of times things just happened naturally. Mark said the biggest influence on picking up hot girls was forgetting how good looking they are. I definitely think this is true but it's a lot easier said then done.

It's not so much forgetting how hot they are as much as just not letting it affect you. Hot girls are great, I love staring at hot girls. But unlike 99% of the male population, I don't let a smoking hot girl affect how I behave or how I think about myself.

[Leo]

Mark Wrote:It's not so much forgetting how hot they are as much as just not letting it affect you. Hot girls are great, I love staring at hot girls. But unlike 99% of the male population, I don't let a smoking hot girl affect how I behave or how I think about myself.

It's actually an interesting psychological phenomenon 4:40


[video=youtube;_dB2GnCGteg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dB2GnCGteg&feature=related[/video]

[Alvar]

Quote:It's actually an interesting psychological phenomenon 4:40

Lol. Last week I had my kids watch the movie and today, they were back, my 8yo daughter asked me to watch it again, even though she doesn't understand english. I sat with her and asked her if the guy was clumsy and embarrassing. I then went to the kitchen and saw from a distance her watching these very lasts scenes.

It popped into my mind how much I hope she can learn to appreciate these not so perfect/not so "alpha(*)" guys that can actually be great guys - not wimps. It is actually a very interesting psychological phenomenon


*If you've seen the movie, you know there's a perfect fake alpha there - Jack.

[Matt T]

Quote:a dude who have 6 pack

Quote:doing shot with him.

Yeah, uh, unless you have god genetics, these things are mutually exclusive.

[Leo]

Alvar Wrote:Lol. Last week I had my kids watch the movie and today, they were back, my 8yo daughter asked me to watch it again, even though she doesn't understand english. I sat with her and asked her if the guy was clumsy and embarrassing. I then went to the kitchen and saw from a distance her watching these very lasts scenes.

It popped into my mind how much I hope she can learn to appreciate these not so perfect/not so "alpha(*)" guys that can actually be great guys - not wimps. It is actually a very interesting psychological phenomenon


*If you've seen the movie, you know there's a perfect fake alpha there - Jack.

I really loved that movie when I was a kid. Yeah, Jack is a real jackass.

[Alvar]

Leo Wrote:It's actually an interesting psychological phenomenon 4:40

Indeed. Just saw this on Sinn's blog:

Quote:Sex on the Brain Proves Costly for Men

New research suggests the mere idea of an encounter with a woman can impair men’s cognitive performance.

http://www.miller-mccune.com/culture/sex...men-39091/