Mission: Bang before the ball drop (Journal)

[TheBoss]

I have set a goal for myself to sleep with one new girl before 2012. It has been a few long months since I have had sex and I have been using all kinds of excuses that prevent me from even trying to. The main one has been that I don’t have a job. Getting a job for me is still #1 priority, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t have fun at the same time. In this journal I want to monitor my interactions and how I feel about women and pickup in general.

I have also decided that instead of setting up a major goal like get a girlfriend or get a bunch of one night stands, I take it one girl at a time. The next girl I sleep with could just be a one night stand or could be a girl I get into a relationship with. Here is a rough plan on how I plan on doing it.


Resources:
• Mark’s book “Models”
• Rob Judge articles
• “59 seconds”, book on exposing self help myths and giving good advice at the same time

Potential obstacles:
• Approach reluctance/anxiety
• Various excuses/general laziness
• Don’t put much effort following up
• Sometimes might be tempted to look at more theory, from other companies
• Living with parents (gramma living with us now till March, so bringing a girl home to bang is kind of tricky)
• Logistics in general (no car, big city)

Natural advantages:
• Pretty good looks (good height, decent style, blue eyes)
• Having done a few hundred approaches dealing with AA is easier now
• Decent conversational skills once I get in the flow
• Decent sense of humour
• Low fear of physical escalation (once a girl is into me, I don’t really get much nervous about going for the kiss or anything)

Taking action: (Taken from “Models”

Level 1 (Continuous every week)
• Doing at least 5 approaches every time I go out (unless I have a really good and long set)
• Aiming for 20 approaches a week
• Emailing 20 women a week on plenty of fish)

Level 2 (By Dec 17)
• 3 30 minutes conversation
• 3 numbers (follow up with all)
• 2 dates

Level 3 (By Dec 24)
• Kiss 2 women
• Go on a second date
• Get a woman to your place/her place
• 5 phone #s in a week

Level 4 (By January 1st)
• Have sex with a new woman

[TheBoss]

Field Report

I went out yesterday to a bar with my buddy. My goal was to do at least five approaches. When we got there, the place was empty. I saw a set of girls, but I didn’t open right away. I ended up getting a beer and sitting down with him. Even though these girls weren’t really attractive, I should have approached them. The main reason I didn’t was because I was feeling anxious. When I said down, I said hey and she said hey back. But that was where it ended.

After my drink, I approached a group of 3 girls. All of them were chubby, but I just wanted to get things rolling. I approached them, wished one of them a happy birthday. Overall the approach didn’t go well, but I didn’t even bother staying in trying to fix it. I wasn’t attracted to any of them so I left.

After walking around for a bit, I approached 3 girls who were smoking on the patio. 2 of them were pretty cute and one of them was ugly. I hesitated with this approach as well. Talked to my friend for about 3 minutes before going in. I approached them with “hey, you look fun, thought I’d come and say hi” (or something like that). They were very responsive. I kept teasing one of them and she was responding well as were her friends. They were all laughing every time I teased the “target”, so I was doing it successfully. After talking to them for about 15 minutes, I left. This was a stupid move on my part, I should have just tried moving them and gotten drinks with them. I was thinking that I can’t escalate in this situation. I got the facebook of the girl that I was teasing. She added me, I sent her a message, but I don’t think anything will come out of this.

The third group I approached had 3 girls and a guy. I didn’t know the guy was with them, as he seemed like an outsider. Once I go in, one of the girls laughs and introduces me to the other two girls and leaves. The girl on my left almost immediately turns her back on me and starts talking to the guy. The other girl asks me where I’m from. It kind of felt like I was getting blown out, but that might not have been the case. I need to force myself to stay in sets longer and work through the awkward moments.

Afterwards, we got approached by 2 girls that were part of a 4 set. It was one of their birthdays and she had a list of things that she wanted to do that night (get a guy to sing happy birthday to her, get a guy to dance on the table, etc). Eventually me and my friend end up sitting with them and I am talking to some blonde girl. The conversation is going ok, but there is no flirting. Eventually they excuse themselves and leave.

The group after that was a 2-set. I hesitated approaching by good 10 minutes, so when I did finally approach I got a bad reaction. One of the blondes just left and went to her bf, and the other one said she had a boyfriend.

The last group after that was a 2 set, they responded well to the opener (smiling and laughing), but they said that they have boyfriends upstairs.

Some points to remember for next time are:
• Approach within 5-10 minutes of entering the bar
• Approach right away when you see a group; longer you wait more nervous you get and worse your approaches go
• Force myself to stay in conversations longer. When a conversation goes flat, force myself to keep talking until I engage them or they leave
• When conversation is flowing, always escalate by either physically or through movement

[Matt T]

I initially read this thread as "bang before my balls drop", and I'm like "Is such a thing even possible?

[IdEngager]

This is a good thread. I may join you, I feel like my social circle's stalled a bit. Best of luck!

[Tobias]

Interesting how 5 approaches seems to be threshold for the number of "rejections" one can take. The same goes for me. Also, the social anxiety warm up is invariably crucial to overcoming inhibitions in every one I know. I wonder what these facts say about the mind of a newbie.

[TheBoss]

Tobias Wrote:Interesting how 5 approaches seems to be threshold for the number of "rejections" one can take. The same goes for me. Also, the social anxiety warm up is invariably crucial to overcoming inhibitions in every one I know. I wonder what these facts say about the mind of a newbie.

Wouldn't say that's the threshold for me, it was just the goal I set up for myself. I have been rejected more than 10 times on a nighly basis on more than one occasion when I first attempted this stuff.

[TheBoss]

I had a job interview in the morning and had decided to do some day game afterwards. The good news is that I got the job, but the bad news is that I didn't attempt to do any approaches. I approached only 1 group of 2 girls to ask for directions, but that was it. I called a friend and spent time with him instead. I was looking for a way out to be honest and used excuses like "I barely had any sleep, I'm too tired. My eyes are red. I have no energy blah blah". In reality, I just pussed out.

I'll go do day game tomorrow and redeem myself.

Me and the girl that I added on facebook a few days ago messaged each other a few long messages, but she stopped responding. I'll try to restart the conversation again in a few days.

On POF, I'm getting more responses back. I think I finally got a decent message down, so hopefully I'll start getting dates soon.

[CHB2]

Nice man, good luck in your goals! I'm down to join in this goal as well, its been a few months for me as well and now that I've given up porn as well I have a strong drive to get out there. Keep at it and don't beat yourself over any set backs, just try to get out there the next day and do better.

[Chaos]

TheBoss Wrote:I had a job interview in the morning and had decided to do some day game afterwards. The good news is that I got the job, but the bad news is that I didn't attempt to do any approaches. I approached only 1 group of 2 girls to ask for directions, but that was it. I called a friend and spent time with him instead. I was looking for a way out to be honest and used excuses like "I barely had any sleep, I'm too tired. My eyes are red. I have no energy blah blah". In reality, I just pussed out.

Fuck the Day game, you got the Job!!!! Go celebrate with your friends, girls can wait...

[TheBoss]

Went out on Tuesday, but couldn't do direct approaches. Always had trouble with these, especially without a wing-man holding me accountable. For night game, even though I may be hesitant at times, I usually still approach. So I decided to slowly kill aa today. Asked 10 women directions to a bank, store, etc. I wasn't feeling any anxiety or anything, but I was still kinda hesitant. I feel that I should be doing direct approaches, since I have done them before (2 years, ago about 150 of them).

The weird thing about doing direct approaches is that I don't feel that much anxiety. My heart beats a bit faster, but that's about it. I have just always felt weird about doing day game especially in situations like when a girl is walking fast, or checking her texts, has headphones on, has people around her, etc. I'll go out tomorrow again, do the same exercise and add wait you're not from X city are you, or something.

If anyone has any tips for specifically getting over AA when it comes to direct day game, I'd appreciate it.

[freiheitlich]

Just keep always in mind, that you could have her. If she is good, then this is your motivation. If she is attractive to you and you didnt approach, then you know what bad feeling you get.

[Matty]

I gotta agree with Choas, you got the job man! In this economy, that's way more difficult a feat than getting laid. Plus now you can celebrate with a bottle of champaign and an escort, and kill two birds with one stone! Kidding, or course. Good luck the mission

[Andy]

TheBoss Wrote:For night game, even though I may be hesitant at times, I usually still approach.

At night time venues you have a few minutes to decide whether or not you want to approach, especially if the girl is sitting in one place and not moving around much. Although I haven't done that many day time approaches, I noticed that my best approaches (by best I mean the ones where I actually stopped the girl and we had a conversation and she was receptive) were the ones where I just "went for it" right away; for example if I saw a girl walking in my direction, I would immediately stop her and start talking to her without even thinking about "what will happen if I approach her etc..".

I can relate to your point about approaching women when "there are other people around"; this is probably the biggest hurdle for me right now, and it would be great if we could get some input from others on how they deal with this situation. Of course, I'm sure the best thing to do is "go for it" and see what happens.

[TheBoss]

So I fell off track unfortunately. On Tuesday I did 3 direct approaches without much AA. It was pretty much gone after the first approach. I just was feeling like shit-had low energy and red eyes. The first 2 girls smiled and were friendly but gave the bf excuse. The third girl seemed annoyed. Even though, I managed to do the approaches I wasn't really feeling good about. I really don't like day game; never have. I don't know if I'm just making excuses or if that's legit.

I was also texting one girl I met at a bar. She would send me long texts and seemed interested. As soon as I suggested we meet up, she didn't respond.

Also, plenty of fish efforts have been going shitty. I get their facebooks and numbers, but getting them on a date is like running black ops.

I'm thinking maybe this goal was too ambitious for my skill level.