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Zac · 04-02-2012 01:22 PM

We have thought it has been a lot of fun exploring this. The BIGGEST problem is we get so horny we end up having full on sex. This is not the WORST problem to have but we have realized how telling our actions have been.

It IS a really hard path to go down. It's like long term sexual meditation if that makes sense. The discipline required to do this is extreme. I want to learn more about it though. I think it's pretty beautiful.

I think if guys read the book they would understand it better. I definitely fought with the ideas in my head for a while but they do make a lot of sense. Maybe we can get Marnia up in here doing some out reach.

Wait, You right for the site? How often? What are your credentials? I see you posting on the no porn stuff all the time. I haven't read through that thread, I have to admit....

Halo Effect · 04-02-2012 01:37 PM

Quote:The point being made in the book is that if you continue to have orgasm after orgasm with a partner over and over and over again you have an evolutionary process that makes you want to leave that person. It can cause resentment and all sorts of other issues in your relationship. Having sex this way puts you into "cycles" and everyone's is different. Some people take years, a year, a day, or a week. You lose interest after a while.

I'm going to have to read that book. These are very, very big claims. Having orgasms makes you resent a person over time? You need very solid evidence to back this up. Especially if you have other communities where men report that giving their women hour-long orgasms and 50 orgasms a day makes them tear up with joy and extremely affectionate.

I mean, which relationship is (outside of the karezza community) more likely to end? A relationship where the woman experiences frequent orgasm during sex, or a relationship where the woman never gets an orgasm? Obviously the latter.

Also, Karezza seems to imply that the optimal outcome and goal is lifelong monogamy. What's wrong with ending a relationshiop after 3 or 7 or 18 years or whatever?

Quote:It doesn't say not to orgasm mind you but it does say to do it less. Of course whenever you do anything with your woman you want to rock her world. If that anything is simply lying next to each other an a scissor position just resting against each other, do it like it's the last day of the fucking world and you want to do it as well as possible.

I completely agree with this. If you read my description of the Masterful Lover you will see that this sort of thing is completely in line with my thinking. We don't disagree about this.

Does the book differentiate between men and women when it comes to effects of orgasm and so on?

Zac · 04-02-2012 01:42 PM

I think we agree about a lot of things. I do also think that you will have to read the book for yourself because I haven't read the entire thing yet. It kind of goes right along with the no fap Idea. You can still fap sometimes, just doing it all the time isn't the best thing for you (even if in the moment it seems like the best idea ever)

I'm pretty certain if you let the author talk to you through the book you will come to realize that a lot of what you are saying is true, to a point.

It does differentiate between men and women to a point but I think for the most part our reward centers in the brain are mostly the same?

Halo Effect · 04-02-2012 01:45 PM

Women seem to respond to orgasm differently, most of the time. Almost all men have this period of recovery, but many women can keep going.

I just bought the Kindle version of the book, lol. My reading list grows and grows...

Zac · 04-02-2012 01:46 PM

You are still talking VERY short term when it comes to "after effect of orgasm".

I hear you on the reading list. That's exactly why I can't explain myself further.

Chaos · 04-03-2012 12:14 AM

Quote:The point being made in the book is that if you continue to have orgasm after orgasm with a partner over and over and over again you have an evolutionary process that makes you want to leave that person. It can cause resentment and all sorts of other issues in your relationship. Having sex this way puts you into "cycles" and everyone's is different. Some people take years, a year, a day, or a week. You lose interest after a while.

Sounds dangerously close to pseudoscience. Does the book make any reference to any scientific studies, test or whatever to back up those claims?

Bold statements like those without solid scientific evidence always give me the smell of pseudoscience.

***Mark*** · 04-03-2012 12:42 AM

(04-03-2012 12:14 AM)Chaos Wrote:
Quote:The point being made in the book is that if you continue to have orgasm after orgasm with a partner over and over and over again you have an evolutionary process that makes you want to leave that person. It can cause resentment and all sorts of other issues in your relationship. Having sex this way puts you into "cycles" and everyone's is different. Some people take years, a year, a day, or a week. You lose interest after a while.

Sounds dangerously close to pseudoscience. Does the book make any reference to any scientific studies, test or whatever to back up those claims?

Bold statements like those without solid scientific evidence always give me the smell of pseudoscience.

Yes, I don't buy it either.

Zac · 04-03-2012 12:53 AM

I will get to the bottom of it and get back to you guys.If anyone knows anything more about it please feel free to interject.

In the mean time, do you guys buy into disciplined masturbation diets for mental and sexual health?

Can you see where it might also be beneficial to practice discipline with sex in relationships?

crazyhorse · 04-03-2012 08:42 AM

We should all, at least try to be open minded about this. Zac still hasn't finished reading the book, and so havn't any of you. From what I've read on the forum, a lot of couples have really benefited from that approach to sex. For me the ideas don't sound odd.

Frankly, if I would find someone really great to be in a relationship with. I would definetly give this a try

@Halo effect, you're making quite a lot of assumptions about karezza yourself.

She writes for psychology today. Here's a list of her articles:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/search/qu...on&x=0&y=0

If this thread gets bigger, I might ask her to awnser some of your questions. BUT ONLY , if you remain polite. I'm not willing to risk the friendly contact that I'm having with here, for the sake of this thread.

@Zac. No I don't write for that site. Credentials? haha what do you mean? Due to a search engine coincidence, a lot of porn addicts found her forum. In the beginning I also thought that, that was it's purpose. But they actually found out that the principles of karezza (less focus on the orgasm), could also help people who had a porn addiction. So they let these people stay and http://www.yourbrainonporn.com was born. But it became too much for here, so addiction side is moved to http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com .

Are you already a member of her website? You can make a thread where you post the problem that you're dealing with. I'm sure a lot of others went through the same.

Zac · 04-03-2012 01:06 PM

I actually misread what you wrote and thought you were Gary lol.

Thank you. When I finish the book I'll be coming back here to show what she cited and see what guys have to say.

I'm s;p definitely going to be posting their soon. I want to have time to dedicate to the conversation. From there I will have a little more information.

I still think it's funny that there is a no more porn thread here based on the exact same science.

SeXyBaCk · 04-03-2012 01:20 PM

Damn... I've just had an eye-opener here... this totally explains why all my girlfriend now sort of loathe me. Chronic acute hyperclimaxia!

I would agree that one can keep an open mind on it, let Zac finish the book and report back. Personally I view this as a case of "cars as dangerous, they kill people - but you still have to get where you're going" - orgasms are the shit. Eventually you're going to/want to have them. They're an integral part of one's quality of life, maybe for women even more so than men. As to factors that can undermine the longevity of a relationship... there are so many, I doubt a healthy sex life is one of the more threatening culprits. WC seat up is far more lethal. I can see the entertainment value in denying a highly charged woman an orgasm for short periods of time... but making a conscious effort... wow, cruel. You badass you!

As for the Porn effect thing... when speaking about science... I did visit the webpage, but I didn't see any links to a clinical study, pro- or retrospective. I assume there isn't any anatomical proof eg. biopsies from a brain of a porn consumer vs a non consumer and marking an increased number of receptors in the porn consumer. Maybe there have been some of those MRI marker studies where someones brain that is used to porn shows a stronger or weaker reaction to pornographic images than a non-consumer would? I would find out myself but my workplace (a hospital) doesn't allow the words porn in google.

***Mark*** · 04-03-2012 04:18 PM

I'm not saying that the technique isn't useful or that it doesn't work. I'm just saying the "scientific" explanation is a load of BS (most likely).

But I can totally see why this could have positive impacts on a relationship. Tantric Yoga has been talking about conserving your orgasms and re-focusing the energy back into the relationship for centuries. The book "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" talks about conserving your ejaculations and how it can strengthen your bond. I mean, any guy knows that the moment he's the LEAST interested in his relationship is the 5-10 minutes after he busts a giant nut. So yeah, I can see why this works on a short-term psychological level.

It's as soon as you get into "We evolved such in such way to spread our seed," where you lose me. Shit gets a lot more complicated than that.

Anyway, the book is on my Kindle and I plan on reading it soon. Will let you know what I think.

Tim · (04-03-2012)

(04-03-2012 04:18 PM)Mark Wrote: I mean, any guy knows that the moment he's the LEAST interested in his relationship is the 5-10 minutes after he busts a giant nut.

You mean you don't like cuddling Mark? You cold, cold bastard.

Chaos · (04-03-2012)

(04-03-2012 09:46 PM)Tim Wrote: You mean you don't like cuddling Mark? You cold, cold bastard.

Great way to be talking to your boss. I think there's gonna be an opening for an intern with Mark soon Smile

***Mark*** · 04-03-2012 11:08 PM

5 minutes after sex: sandwich > cuddling

Always...

FirstAidKit · 04-03-2012 11:09 PM

You prepare the sandwich ahead of time and then you eat it while you cuddle.

Obviously.

Chaos · 04-03-2012 11:13 PM

(04-03-2012 11:09 PM)FirstAidKit Wrote: You prepare the sandwich ahead of time and then you eat it while you cuddle.

Obviously.

And on most occasions I recommend cleaning your hands (and probably your mouth) first Big Grin

Tim · 04-03-2012 11:18 PM

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-R...29086.html

Did you used to smoke after sex Mark? Maybe as a former smoker you replaced a cigarette with the sandwich.

FirstAidKit · 04-03-2012 11:28 PM

(04-03-2012 11:13 PM)Chaos Wrote:
(04-03-2012 11:09 PM)FirstAidKit Wrote: You prepare the sandwich ahead of time and then you eat it while you cuddle.

Obviously.

And on most occasions I recommend cleaning your hands (and probably your mouth) first

I think post sex is the last time you should be worrying about cooties. I bet you don't kiss girls when they've blown you either Tongue

Chaos · 04-03-2012 11:36 PM

(04-03-2012 11:28 PM)FirstAidKit Wrote: I think post sex is the last time you should be worrying about cooties. I bet you don't kiss girls when they've blown you either

LOL!! That's a completely different situation... is it weird that I don't find it weird to kiss the girl after but I find it gross to eat anything without washing my hands?

SeXyBaCk · 04-04-2012 10:07 AM

(04-03-2012 11:36 PM)Chaos Wrote:
(04-03-2012 11:28 PM)FirstAidKit Wrote: I think post sex is the last time you should be worrying about cooties. I bet you don't kiss girls when they've blown you either

LOL!! That's a completely different situation... is it weird that I don't find it weird to kiss the girl after but I find it gross to eat anything without washing my hands?

That is indeed weird. No other way to put it. The washing hands thing more than anything. Then again, I don't know what you're into and how few preparations are involved.

RE sanwich... I've noticed when I have an intimate emotional connection with the woman I'm into talking/touching, if it was just sex or angry sex then of course you just want to lay back and relax and grin and do absolutely nothing.

crazyhorse · 04-10-2012 11:52 PM

http://videos.howstuffworks.com/discover...-video.htm

baldwolf · 06-13-2012 11:10 AM

Updates from anyone that has still been practicing this?

Creatine Dreams · 06-14-2012 04:21 AM

(04-03-2012 11:08 PM)Mark Wrote: 5 minutes after sex: sandwich > cuddling

Always...

But the key question is what type of sandwich, Mark!

Zac · 06-14-2012 06:14 AM

Baldwolf, I moved away from my girlfriend but we both still talk about how much we enjoyed taking things from the book and putting them into practice in our sex lives. We feel like it made us closer and when I get back to her or if I end up having another long term partner I absolutely plan on incorporating what I learned (so far) from the book. I know that's not much to go on so I'd recommend reading the book and reporting back here.

Postmasculine