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TooFastForLove · 02-19-2012 05:06 PM

I've had girls flake on me in the past, but this one in particular is bothering me because we had a lot of contact beforehand and interest she showed.

I grabbed a girls number at the university gym 2 weeks ago and we had been in contact everyday through texting and a few phone conversations. She initiated most of them and seemed very interested. We weren't able to meet last week because of prior obligations, but we made plans for meeting up last night. I get to the place at the time we agreed on and let her know I'm there and get no response. Girls often run late in my experience so I let 20 minutes go by before asking if everything is alright. No response. After 30 minutes I give her a call. No response. With the amount of contact we had and interest she had shown I really didn't see this happening. I get nothing from her the rest of the night.

What annoys me is that she didn't even have the decency to talk to me and say she wasn't going to be there. Would that have been so difficult? I figure that someone who acts like this isn't worth knowing and that she's probably doing me a favor here, but it's still frustrating. How can some people be so rude?

Schmechti · 02-19-2012 05:12 PM

I also had this kind of problem a few times in the past. Girls were showing clear and repeated interest (both verbal and non-verbal), but as soon as I set up a date I got no more responses. Not even a "I have no time" or something else. Never figured out the reasons for it. I often think it has to do with the girl being shy and insecure, not with yourself. When you start to date her, she knows that it might turn out to be something serious.

***Mark*** · 02-19-2012 06:06 PM

She could have a legitimate excuse (lost her phone, got horribly sick, was in an accident, fell asleep and forgot to set an alarm, etc.)

Just saying it happens... don't rush to judgments. You may hear from her and get an apology... and if not, fuck her, good riddance.

crazyhorse · 02-19-2012 09:06 PM

I've read a good tip about this. It's from Chase Amante.

He says that if she seemed exited about the date, it's best to give her the benefit of the doubt and say something like "hey, too bad you couldn't make it. I just hope you didn't had a car accident and everything is ok with you? yours truly x"

something like that.

EppsMJ · 02-19-2012 11:16 PM

I'd do a follow-up (as suggested above) and if no response - Next!

kingdavid2 · 02-20-2012 01:48 AM

Id let it go give it some time before contacting her again, and essentially go from 0 again...set up a time to meet ect

zkelvin · 02-20-2012 07:50 PM

kingdavid2 Wrote:Id let it go give it some time before contacting her again, and essentially go from 0 again...set up a time to meet ect

Why bother? If she stood him up, unless she is very apologetic, it's not worth putting in all the effort to woo her for the SECOND time, only to be potentially stood up again.

8_Ball · 02-20-2012 07:56 PM

Once a girl flaked on me the same way, and I couldn´t understand it neither because she seemed more interested in the date then I was.

The right way to think about is, that you should be glad the she showed you her ugly side right away. Not going on a date without even a message is a very fucked up behaviour, and I don´t want to deal with these kind of girls. So be happy because she saved you a lot of time.

EDIT: She flaked on you, so if she has a good excuse, she is the one who should contact you first, not you.

trader4life · 02-20-2012 08:24 PM

I think the owness is 100% on her and even then she is likely not worth it. I definitely wouldn't wait around for it and if and when she does I would have second thoughts but that's just me. This isn't even a flake move IMO but I had this girl I had met a while back and we were talking for a week or two but hadn't met up yet. When I texted her one day she said she went out with some guy and was kind of "diggin' him" so she wanted to see where that went. I texted her back and said no problem and wished her the best of luck (and I was sincere). A week later she is blowing me up almost non-stop now wanting to meet up, but I shifted my focus (likely the wrong word to use) elsewhere, so I may or may not do it now. The point is we met initially, but since we hadn't actually gone out I was not overly invested. I would think it should be the same for you too since this was supposed to be a first date.

After all, how much can you really be into someone that you really don't know all that well? IMO the fact that she flaked and hasn't contacted means she is not interested. Sorry bro but those are the facts. 99% of the time is a girl wants to see you she will, and if for some reason she can't she will go to great means to let you know the reason why and apologize profusely if she does flake.

***Mark*** · 02-20-2012 08:38 PM

I don't make time for people who don't make time for me. Simple as that. If she calls and texts and apologizes profusely, then that's one thing. Otherwise, I'd move on.

Jon · 02-21-2012 08:51 PM

Mark Wrote:I don't make time for people who don't make time for me. Simple as that. If she calls and texts and apologizes profusely, then that's one thing. Otherwise, I'd move on.

Agreed. This is one of the things where you don't give her the benefit of the doubt until she is proactive and apologizes. She may have a legit excuse, but even in that case, she should know she owes you an apology.

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