You guys are right, I will try harder to find a specialist. And yes I do tell people this, they can't truly understand where I'm coming from.
(06-24-2012 04:08 PM)Mark Wrote: What Chaos said. You should only take advice from a qualified professional on this. Not us.
I have a couple questions that may help you:
1. Have you always been like this? If not, can you think of a time in your life where you did feel emotionally attached to your family and people around you? Childhood?
2. Do feel an emotional investment in anything or at any time right now? Can a movie get you excited or a bit misty-eyed? Can a professor make you angry or annoyed? You said that if you saw an old lady getting beat up you'd help her because it'd be the "logical" thing to do (I'd actually disagree with this), but you wouldn't actually care about her. Do you think you'd have any emotional response? Or would seeing an old woman get beat and robbed in front of you feel exactly the same as seeing a dog taking a dump on the sidewalk?
1. I'm afraid I don't... I've always been a loner in my childhood. My dad is a loner too, in which he influenced my mom to become non-social also because he didn't like her having friends around. I'm sure I somehow developed some traits from this. My older sister is VERY social though, but then again she's a girl, I believe it's somewhat easier for them by a degree because she's pretty. It's only now since senior year of high school and college that I actually started developing genuine friendships with people. I'm still learning even now how to develop bigger networks (the conversation program helped a lot). I'm not naturally a social person but I want to be, and I LIKE to be social when I am. But for some reason the lack of interest in people usually keeps me from being motivated from keeping up with friends I meet and strengthening bonds. Since I'm unmotivated to really learn more about them. So everyone pretty much just stays good acquaintances.
Well.. actually The only time I feel I truly felt emotionally attached to someone was my first REAL relationship in senior year of high school. Probably the only person I can think of that I can remember going to sleep thinking of all night, and thinking of all day. I haven't liked anyone enough yet since then to the point that I want to date them. But then again, it's only since about a a few months ago that I'm actually getting better at talking to women, so my quantity of interactions is increasing. But I never really care more about the girls than just friendship and sexual things. They never give me that "feeling" that I had in high school. It's only a logical attraction.
2. Yes, I feel an emotional investment in my future, my aspirations, usually to the point where I get really hyped and start studying. I CAN feel emotions. I do feel emotions when I'm watching movies and something tragic happens, or indignation. Usually because I guess I place myself as the character and imagine it happening to me. While it's ironic that this doesn't apply in real life, I have no idea why.
The main problem I feel is with feeling genuine INTEREST, and EMPATHY for real people, but people CAN make me happy, sad, and angry.
Surprisingly, I CAN feel attachment to a girl if she's interesting, but not feel emotionally connected... but either that's a neediness thing, or I'm suppressing something. I feel like if our relationship between us as friends/lovers ended though, I wouldn't truly care. It's like if you're watching an extremely good action movie, then it cuts off halfway through, yes you're gonna feel bummed that you can't keep watching it, but it's not REALLY gonna bother you that badly.
As for the old lady question. I guess I would feel SHOCKED that someone is beating up an old lady... just because... y'know, someone is actually beating up an old lady, it's like breaking some huge norm and it's wrong. But I don't know if I'd really feel indignation for the lady, just the situation. I WOULD want to save her life because I don't want anyone to die. But I don't know if the motivation for that last sentence is really because I, as a person, would feel bad if she did. I just think it would be bad in general.
I honestly think that society is convincing me that I should save that lady. Because society sees it as bad.