I feel I'm giving up.

[navyguy]

I've been in seduction community for a year now. I was very shy and socially awkward. I progressed very slowly but I would say still worth the effort. But now I feel I'm giving up, I feel I'm not improvin anymore. I got number close but never gets a date. I got instant date got my first make out from it but I feel its not enough.

All I wanted is to have an attractive girlfriend. My game is direct, more like simple pick up style. Yea I got a few phone numbers, I'm able to keep the conversation going when I'm state. Every time I go out, I feel things is not gonna work out well. Even though I got success from the past. I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I expect too much about myself.
I thought I'm going to finally get a girlfriend but I think I blew my chances. I think I lost the girl. I feel down, I tried to bring myself back to approach 10 girls a day but all of them rejected me. I'm trying to force myself to have fun but it seems is not gonna work anymore. I lost my motivation, even I got rejected a lot in the past, its still hurts deep in my core. Every time I got rejected I laughed but it just fueled my negativity in my head. I don't know if it still worth to keep going and continue. Lately, when talking to girls I feel awkward even I know, I'm alot better with my conversation skill. I don't know if the girl has the problem, my game or its all in my head. Please help me guys, I feel so down. My younger brother got a girlfriend but I couldn't . He didn't even study game. This is frustrating. I need suggestions guys. Thanks.

[Leo]

Just one year? I've been doing this shit for five years and I'm still learning about myself and women. The hardest part IMHO it's knowing yourself, being aware of your feelings. I recommend therapy and patience.

[navyguy]

what kind of therapy man? It seems very expensive to me.

[Leo]

Look for alternatives, get informed, move forward, come on! Are you already giving up about therapy? At least try.

[Trickster]

(08-11-2012 01:53 AM)navyguy Wrote:  I've been in seduction community for a year now. I was very shy and socially awkward. I progressed very slowly but I would say still worth the effort. But now I feel I'm giving up, I feel I'm not improvin anymore. I got number close but never gets a date. I got instant date got my first make out from it but I feel its not enough.

All I wanted is to have an attractive girlfriend. My game is direct, more like simple pick up style. Yea I got a few phone numbers, I'm able to keep the conversation going when I'm state. Every time I go out, I feel things is not gonna work out well. Even though I got success from the past. I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I expect too much about myself.
I thought I'm going to finally get a girlfriend but I think I blew my chances. I think I lost the girl. I feel down, I tried to bring myself back to approach 10 girls a day but all of them rejected me. I'm trying to force myself to have fun but it seems is not gonna work anymore. I lost my motivation, even I got rejected a lot in the past, its still hurts deep in my core. Every time I got rejected I laughed but it just fueled my negativity in my head. I don't know if it still worth to keep going and continue. Lately, when talking to girls I feel awkward even I know, I'm alot better with my conversation skill. I don't know if the girl has the problem, my game or its all in my head. Please help me guys, I feel so down. My younger brother got a girlfriend but I couldn't . He didn't even study game. This is frustrating. I need suggestions guys. Thanks.

Alright first off

1) Stop reading/using the PUA stuff. It's not making you happy and it's not giving you the results you want, and it sounds like it's fucking you up even worse.
2) Buy and read Models by Mark. Then read it again.
3) Seriously look into therapy. Clearly you're suffering from a lot of self-esteem issues, as well as issues about your self-image.

You don't have a problem approaching or making a move, but your results are indicative of a person who is disassociated from their true self and passion, which probably blocks any emotional connection you make with a woman. You also seem to handle rejection poorly and seem to want a girlfriend just for the sake of having an "attractive girlfriend", which is really a bad reason to date anybody.

Can you answer the following questions for us?

- What do you do in your life that makes you happy that has nothing to do with women?
- What's your job or career? Do you actually like what you do?
- Do you have many friends?
- Why do you want a girlfriend? Can you articulate the reasons?

[navyguy]

Right now, I'm starting reading Models. I'm thinking about taking therapy. I do convince that I have self esteem issues and planning to buy books and hypnosis about it. Sometimes I feel motivated and sometimes just feel low. Now I feel like giving up because I don't get the results I'm expecting. My goal for doing pick up is to get a girlfriend. I got rejected a lot but still kinda scares at the core. I approached a lot women but got a few numbers, but still scared to approach most of the time. It really confuses and frustrates me.

I hang out with my friends, I go out and signed up to the gym. But I feel not happy overall in my life.
Right now I'm working as a barista in a coffee shop. I'm taking Pilot course in college.
I have lots of friends plus my wingmens.
I want to have girl friend because I never had girlfriend. I like to feel the commitment from it. My mom used to scared me about getting a girlfriend that's why I avoid women from the whole of my teenage years. Now I'm 21 and I like to change my life. I feel I'm not complete when I don't have a girlfriend. All in my friends I'm the only one who never had a girlfriend and still a virgin. I'm also fell to oneitis, when I got a number or got an nice interaction. I can't stop thinking about that girl right away.

[Halo Effect]

Quote:My mom used to scared me about getting a girlfriend that's why I avoid women from the whole of my teenage years.

How did your mom scare you about getting a girlfriend? Can you explain a bit more?

[navyguy]

(08-12-2012 04:14 AM)Halo Effect Wrote:  

Quote:My mom used to scared me about getting a girlfriend that's why I avoid women from the whole of my teenage years.

How did your mom scare you about getting a girlfriend? Can you explain a bit more?

I was born in Asian family with pure asian culture. I lived in Canada now. In Asian culture I was thought that flirting or showing sexual interest, or getting physical with women is inappropriate or in short SEX IS BAD. When I was a teen my mom used to scared me that if I got a girlfriend, she would kick me out of the house. She was worried that I'd pregnant the girl or some shit like that and my life dreams would be broken. She kept telling me that no girls is gonna like me because I was too ugly, unworthy and all negative things. I know, she was harsh but it was all past. I stop blaming her instead decided to take this part of my life handled.

[Matty]

Wow, thats quite an emotionally devestating thing to tell your teenage child. Im really impressed that you had the maturity to stop blaming ur Mom. But u need to go to therapy and hash this out, brcause it sounds like its weighing on ur self worth. Whats ur specific Asian country of origin if u dont mind me asking? Which Canadian city do u live in now?

[Trickster]

(08-12-2012 07:15 AM)navyguy Wrote:  

(08-12-2012 04:14 AM)Halo Effect Wrote:  

Quote:My mom used to scared me about getting a girlfriend that's why I avoid women from the whole of my teenage years.

How did your mom scare you about getting a girlfriend? Can you explain a bit more?

I was born in Asian family with pure asian culture. I lived in Canada now. In Asian culture I was thought that flirting or showing sexual interest, or getting physical with women is inappropriate or in short SEX IS BAD. When I was a teen my mom used to scared me that if I got a girlfriend, she would kick me out of the house. She was worried that I'd pregnant the girl or some shit like that and my life dreams would be broken. She kept telling me that no girls is gonna like me because I was too ugly, unworthy and all negative things. I know, she was harsh but it was all past. I stop blaming her instead decided to take this part of my life handled.

This is a very sad story, and I'm sorry you were raised in such a negative way by your mom. I really do think you need to go to therapy to help undo all the years of negative feedback you've received at the hands of your mother. You have a negative feedback loop still there - that if a woman rejects you, it's confirmation that you're not good enough (which was instilled by the way you were raised). The more I read from you, the more I really do think you should get a good therapist asap.

[navyguy]

(08-12-2012 04:57 PM)Matty Wrote:  Wow, thats quite an emotionally devestating thing to tell your teenage child. Im really impressed that you had the maturity to stop blaming ur Mom. But u need to go to therapy and hash this out, brcause it sounds like its weighing on ur self worth. Whats ur specific Asian country of origin if u dont mind me asking? Which Canadian city do u live in now?

Thanks man, Yea basically I started taking action last year. When I moved out and live by myself, I started reading self help books that I could find and at the same time reading and practicing pick up. I'm considering taking therapy, but still kinda worried about the cost. Though I still give it a try.. My hometown is Philippines and its a very religous and conservative country. I live in Winnipeg now.

---

(08-12-2012 05:25 PM)Trickster Wrote:  

(08-12-2012 07:15 AM)navyguy Wrote:  

(08-12-2012 04:14 AM)Halo Effect Wrote:  

Quote:My mom used to scared me about getting a girlfriend that's why I avoid women from the whole of my teenage years.

How did your mom scare you about getting a girlfriend? Can you explain a bit more?

I was born in Asian family with pure asian culture. I lived in Canada now. In Asian culture I was thought that flirting or showing sexual interest, or getting physical with women is inappropriate or in short SEX IS BAD. When I was a teen my mom used to scared me that if I got a girlfriend, she would kick me out of the house. She was worried that I'd pregnant the girl or some shit like that and my life dreams would be broken. She kept telling me that no girls is gonna like me because I was too ugly, unworthy and all negative things. I know, she was harsh but it was all past. I stop blaming her instead decided to take this part of my life handled.

This is a very sad story, and I'm sorry you were raised in such a negative way by your mom. I really do think you need to go to therapy to help undo all the years of negative feedback you've received at the hands of your mother. You have a negative feedback loop still there - that if a woman rejects you, it's confirmation that you're not good enough (which was instilled by the way you were raised). The more I read from you, the more I really do think you should get a good therapist asap.

Thanks bro, I know it was sad, and also I'm kinda perfectionist like my mom and I expect too much about myself and when I couldn't reach my expectation, I feel down and incompetent. You are probably right. Its all because of negative feed back loop, yea when I got rejected it doesn't really bothers big time, like I can laugh it off and move on but deep inside somewhere it hurts and I couldn't figure where and why. If you know what I mean. I thought I have confidence issues, but I really convince its all in my self esteem. I'm confident enough to take risks but I don't have faith with myself.
What kind of therapist though?

[Trickster]

(08-13-2012 07:32 AM)navyguy Wrote:  Thanks bro, I know it was sad, and also I'm kinda perfectionist like my mom and I expect too much about myself and when I couldn't reach my expectation, I feel down and incompetent. You are probably right. Its all because of negative feed back loop, yea when I got rejected it doesn't really bothers big time, like I can laugh it off and move on but deep inside somewhere it hurts and I couldn't figure where and why. If you know what I mean. I thought I have confidence issues, but I really convince its all in my self esteem. I'm confident enough to take risks but I don't have faith with myself.
What kind of therapist though?

If you live in Canada, I think you should be able to get a therapist that is covered under Canadian health insurance, as far as I know. Picking a therapist is important, so you should go to several and find one who you think connects with you the best. I found a therapist who was like an older version of me, from the same hometown even - so I felt like he could identify with a lot of my problems. For you, I would pick either a paternal or maternal figure - someone you can look up to. An older female or male therapist, perhaps.

Read this post by Mark for more information

http://postmasculine.com/psychotherapy

[Thor]

I feel for you mate. I know how it must have felt because I was in a similiar situation to you growing up as a kid. I spent alot of money on therapy which helped to some degree. I did get some support from the National Health Service here in the UK. This was arranged through my doctor not sure how it works where you are from.

(08-12-2012 07:15 AM)navyguy Wrote:  

(08-12-2012 04:14 AM)Halo Effect Wrote:  

Quote:My mom used to scared me about getting a girlfriend that's why I avoid women from the whole of my teenage years.

How did your mom scare you about getting a girlfriend? Can you explain a bit more?

I was born in Asian family with pure asian culture. I lived in Canada now. In Asian culture I was thought that flirting or showing sexual interest, or getting physical with women is inappropriate or in short SEX IS BAD. When I was a teen my mom used to scared me that if I got a girlfriend, she would kick me out of the house. She was worried that I'd pregnant the girl or some shit like that and my life dreams would be broken. She kept telling me that no girls is gonna like me because I was too ugly, unworthy and all negative things. I know, she was harsh but it was all past. I stop blaming her instead decided to take this part of my life handled.

[propellerhead]

navy guy,

game just isn't about the girl it's also about being the best person you can be. maybe you need to work on who you are first (inner game) and then proceed to outer game. learn to be confident, motivated, positive in the worst situations. ask yourself 'how am i as a person?'

[viridian]

Why do you want an attractive girlfriend?

Why do you want a girlfriend?

[Jonny]

If you cannot afford a therapist try journalling. There is a book called Self Therapy which goes into examples and gives you the tools to navigate yourself. http://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-...1936107082

[Swimmer]

(08-24-2012 03:28 PM)Jonny Wrote:  If you cannot afford a therapist try journalling. There is a book called Self Therapy which goes into examples and gives you the tools to navigate yourself. http://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-...1936107082

This book looks interesting!

Has it help and in what way?