How to Stop Flaking - My Method (Input Appreciated)

[Mace]

This player recommends calling the next day instead of texting + seeding a date - and has the stats to back it up. I used to think this strategy was too pushy but I think it's best - escalating from the momentum off the initial interaction is key.

http://www.seductionpath.com/posts/should-i-call-her


Test conditions

Now, I’m back with my research for the current year, to be more specific: 01.01.2011 -> 30.04.2011.

Here I’m going to concentrate on another question: What’s the perfect algorithm for calling them.

Here are the conditions of the test:

only number closes, no online game
I usually got day game numbers in 5 minutes or less using direct game (=> lack of comfort)
80-90% of my closes are from day game so I’ll disregard the rest

My results:

After ~80 number closes I had 10 new lays (*) in 4 months. (One in eight girls I number closed was a lay)

* one was a social circle lay and another one was a previously sarged girl I number closed a second time

When you should give up calling:

after you called her 5 total times without an answer (2 times the first day, 2 times 3 days after, etc)
after 3 consecutive flakes (even though I could get her on the phone easily)
on 3 successions or 2 weeks of comfort calls and flakes or comfort calls and excuses when I invite her out
^^^ the last one can be translated to a mathematical formula: (3*successions || 2*weeks)(comfort_calls && flakes || comfort_calls && excuses)

Techniques that succeeded:

1st place: Day 1: comfort call + seeding a date, Day 2: fclose
2nd place: Day 1: comfort call, Day 2++ (a few days of no contact) and no later than Day 7: comfort call + fclose
3rd place: Day 1: meet directly, Day 2: fclose
* Day 0 => the day I’ve met her, Day 1 => the day after

What I learned from my experience:

delete girls that flake on you 3 times (even though they keep the phone convo)
delete girls that you couldn’t meet with in 2 weeks
delete girls that don’t answer after 5 total calls (all, of course, spread over 1 week)
dirty fuck the rest

On day game approaches that last under 15 minutes definitely call them the next day! You work with momentum and they remember you, reactivate the emotions they felt, etc. You're losing their interest on each day that passes.

[Chaos]

Mace, you are saying you're fucking 2 to 3 different girls a month and you're still unsatisfied with your results?

I think you're getting a little obsessed with number vs what you're getting. Stop analyzing what you're doing, you're getting great results, start enjoying them.

[Jon]

(04-25-2012 03:47 PM)Chaos Wrote:  Mace, you are saying you're fucking 2 to 3 different girls a month and you're still unsatisfied with your results?

I think you're getting a little obsessed with number vs what you're getting. Stop analyzing what you're doing, you're getting great results, start enjoying them.

No those aren't Mace's results, those are the guy who he linked to (imho 8 lays off of 80 number closes is a lot of effort for the reward).

[SeXyBaCk]

This cracks me up good.

Some guy talking about formulas and research and then advises to "dirty fuck the rest". He's just desexualised the entire process and made it into an equasion. And this is supposed to be helpful to other guys? I don't know man...

Seriously, is it so hard to actually look at the woman you're speaking to, listen a little (mayhaps?) and get a feel for her background, upbringing and moral values, so you can roughly figure out how aggressive you can/should be in your pursuit? Good indicators might be their age, what they're wearing and what they do for a living. But I understand that paying attention to the person you're talking to is hard.

The lack of common sense in 'seduction' never ceases to amaze me. That up there, that's warped. And it's not helpful. If you've got something interesting to say or text, they'll get back to you.

[Mace]

Getting back to the subject of the origianl post, here's a text interaction I had several months ago with a college girl. This was back when I was experimenting with various techniques, and before I'd refined my text/phone game and anti-flaking strategy.

The initial interaction was about 5 minutes in length and took place at a college campus.

The initial text was sent the following day.

------------------------------------------------------

Friday, Sep 16

Me (2:28 PM): Hey I found the used bookstore ok yesterday. I could hire you as my personal tour guide. The pay is bad but there’s excellent benefits. How’s your day going?

Josie (7:28 PM): Pretty good, I’m at the rookie party for my field hockey team and its a bit crazy. I’m glad you found the bookstore aha

Me (10:29 PM): I have an intuition about you …as the rookies and frosh at the party are going crazy, you’re the calm one . How long have you been in field hockey for?

Josie (10:33 PM): I’ve played for the varsity team at (school) for 4 years now. The rookie initiation is always a good time aha.

Me (10:39 PM): 4 years, wow. You’re like the house mother to these kids haha. Kidding. 4 years is great. Good for you. My personal favourite sports are tennis and skiing.

Josie (10:40 PM): I can respect that. I wish I was better at tennis but skiing is for sure awesome

Me (10:41 PM): I’ll tell you all about my trip one day. We should meet for coffee sometime. Do you know (cafe) on (street).

Sunday Sep 18

Me (8:45 PM): Had a great day at the zoo. Saw a fish that reminded me of you.

-------------------------------------------------------

Two consecutive texts with no reply. I had high compliance initially, she was responding promptly, volunteering information about herself, establishing rapport. But by jumping the gun and asking her out too early I scared her off. Now she won't answer my texts.

Now if had I kept the momentum going with the texts, built more rapport, called her a couple days later and asked her out, I'd be in there. Now I've blown himself out.

This was a "maybe" girl that I could have converted to a "yes" girl with some text & phone game tactics, but instead became a "no" girl.

[playmaker001]

@Mace: that's mental masturbation and pure bullshit. You have no idea why she didn't reply (don't act like you do), and thinking about the many reasons she might not have replied is just gonna fuck your head up. If a girl's replying to your texts she was usually attracted to you during the initial interaction, even if you didn't know it yet. Guys think they worked her through phone game but that's not the case. You reduce flakes by improving your game during the initial interaction with the women. I don't care if you text like Shakespeare, it's not going to make a difference, sorry. You should know this by now, you said before you've been into game for years...

[Mace]

(04-26-2012 08:52 PM)playmaker001 Wrote:  @Mace: ... If a girl's replying to your texts she was usually attracted to you during the initial interaction, even if you didn't know it yet. Guys think they worked her through phone game but that's not the case. You reduce flakes by improving your game during the initial interaction with the women.

So why did she suddenly stop texting me back?

[Chaos]

My take is that you over gamed her and she either perceived you didn't have any true interest in her apart from sex or got tired of your games. Notice how she didn't bite in any of your "gaming" texts. She answers to what you asks, strictly to your direct questions and avoid entering on any of your teasing. In addition she doesn't ask you back... Overall I think she wasn't so interested in the first place, probably because the interaction in person wasn't so good...

[playmaker001]

@Mace: I dunno, it could be because she realized you're butt ugly, too short, too tall, creepy, too playerish, weren't wearing cool clothes, you're clothes were too cool, didn't approach her at an 80 degree angle; maybe she was busy with work, busy with school, busy masturbating, busy catching up on her fave tv show; maybe her grandma died, her mother died, her sister, her dog, her pet goldfish, her pet amoeba. Maybe she was cooking when suddenly she dropped a flaming pan and her house burnt down. Maybe she fell in love with some millionaire, or some hobo, or some big black man with a mandingo sized dick. Ooh or perhaps she lost her phone, lost her mind, lost track of time, lost a bet, was watching reruns of Lost. She could be locked up in jail, tied up in some S & M video, beat up by some chick, fucked up off some X, or threw up from the thought of sleeping with you. Maybe I'm secretly banging her and not telling you. Maybe Mark Manson cold approached her a little while after you and his game is just too hardcore for you to compete with. Maybe Jon met her at a bar and wifed her up. Or perhaps Mark, Jon and I are preparing to gang bang her as we speak.

The possibilities are endless Mace. However I'm not going to waste my time thinking about all the reasons. If you want to, suit yourself, but mental masturbation often leads to you masturbating alone while you cry over your own erection. Or you can move on to the next chick. It's up to you!

[chiclover]

(04-26-2012 09:37 PM)playmaker001 Wrote:  @Mace: I dunno, it could be because she realized you're butt ugly, too short, too tall, creepy, too playerish, weren't wearing cool clothes, you're clothes were too cool, didn't approach her at an 80 degree angle; maybe she was busy with work, busy with school, busy masturbating, busy catching up on her fave tv show; maybe her grandma died, her mother died, her sister, her dog, her pet goldfish, her pet amoeba. Maybe she was cooking when suddenly she dropped a flaming pan and her house burnt down. Maybe she fell in love with some millionaire, or some hobo, or some big black man with a mandingo sized dick. Ooh or perhaps she lost her phone, lost her mind, lost track of time, lost a bet, was watching reruns of Lost. She could be locked up in jail, tied up in some S & M video, beat up by some chick, fucked up off some X, or threw up from the thought of sleeping with you. Maybe I'm secretly banging her and not telling you. Maybe Mark Manson cold approached her a little while after you and his game is just too hardcore for you to compete with. Maybe Jon met her at a bar and wifed her up. Or perhaps Mark, Jon and I are preparing to gang bang her as we speak.

The possibilities are endless Mace. However I'm not going to waste my time thinking about all the reasons. If you want to, suit yourself, but mental masturbation often leads to you masturbating alone while you cry over your own erection. Or you can move on to the next chick. It's up to you!

Hahaha. This has to be one of the funniest posts I've ever read. Well done sir :-)

[Tim]

(04-26-2012 09:37 PM)playmaker001 Wrote:  @Mace: I dunno, it could be because she realized you're butt ugly, too short, too tall, creepy, too playerish, weren't wearing cool clothes, you're clothes were too cool, didn't approach her at an 80 degree angle; maybe she was busy with work, busy with school, busy masturbating, busy catching up on her fave tv show; maybe her grandma died, her mother died, her sister, her dog, her pet goldfish, her pet amoeba. Maybe she was cooking when suddenly she dropped a flaming pan and her house burnt down. Maybe she fell in love with some millionaire, or some hobo, or some big black man with a mandingo sized dick. Ooh or perhaps she lost her phone, lost her mind, lost track of time, lost a bet, was watching reruns of Lost. She could be locked up in jail, tied up in some S & M video, beat up by some chick, fucked up off some X, or threw up from the thought of sleeping with you. Maybe I'm secretly banging her and not telling you. Maybe Mark Manson cold approached her a little while after you and his game is just too hardcore for you to compete with. Maybe Jon met her at a bar and wifed her up. Or perhaps Mark, Jon and I are preparing to gang bang her as we speak.

The possibilities are endless Mace. However I'm not going to waste my time thinking about all the reasons. If you want to, suit yourself, but mental masturbation often leads to you masturbating alone while you cry over your own erection. Or you can move on to the next chick. It's up to you!

This is the best thing on the forums in forever.

[Mace]

As mentioned earlier, if you want to keep improving and stay sane, you have to have two seemingly contradictory beliefs:

1. Her flaking was beyond my control.

2. I could have gamed her better such that my chances of success were higher.

It's like playing poker. Even if you play the best hand possible, you won't always win.

There are always ways to improve. You could look at things in the interaction you could have improved. Maybe those things were dealbreakers, maybe they weren't, but addressing your initial interaction as well as your follow-up will enhance your game over time.

[SeXyBaCk]

Anyone else noticed how so many pickup artists make a living from playing poker? Too many mind games me thinks.

You went fishing, she didn't bite - in that last transcript. I don't see what you could have done else, apart from investing a huge effort and working the friendly angle. She came across cold to me from start to finish. I'm with you that you can make someone feel more comfortable talking to you via text, but the moment you ask for a date or meetup their mind will flash back to the first interaction and the impression you left in their mind. Just think about it for a minute, you meet a heavy homely looking woman, ... somehow she gets your number and starts sexting you. You might play along ...cause why in the hell not, it's 3 am, nothing else to do, but the moment she asks for you to come over, what are you going to think?

There really aren't that many verbal dealbreakers in texting and during the intial stages of dating/getting to know each other. So what I'm thinking is (that was you in those audios right?) the mental effort you're expending on improving your text game is better invested elsewhere. You did okay, avoid using whole sentences in repetition ("let me give you the backstory quick"), work on coming across more relaxed, at ease with yourself, it's hard i know.

At the end of the day you don't want to be this shakespeare texter who shows up and is totally chill and way less playful/teasing than he was on phone. You want to be yourself, while being sexy.

[Mace]

(04-27-2012 09:32 AM)SeXyBaCk Wrote:  You went fishing, she didn't bite - in that last transcript. I don't see what you could have done else, apart from investing a huge effort and working the friendly angle. She came across cold to me from start to finish. I'm with you that you can make someone feel more comfortable talking to you via text, but the moment you ask for a date or meetup their mind will flash back to the first interaction and the impression you left in their mind. Just think about it for a minute, you meet a heavy homely looking woman, ... somehow she gets your number and starts sexting you. You might play along ...cause why in the hell not, it's 3 am, nothing else to do, but the moment she asks for you to come over, what are you going to think?

Agree with the bolded.

So what if a phone call had been made? 10 minutes is not really enough to make an impression - and that's why most guys appearances a huge flake % with day game cold approach. Obviously a longer initial interaction is ideal, but in most cases circumstances dictate that a longer interaction isn't possible.

The point of this thread is that to you should invest enough in the initial interaction to get the number (assuming there's basal level of attraction she'll give you her #), and flakes can be minimized by investing in phone calls to build comfort.

That is why I had posted that text transcript from before I had refined my follow-up method. If a phone call had been made after "warming her up" via text, the likelihood of a date would have been that much greater.

[Jon]

Just my two cents - i almost never get the sort of phone flakes you are talking about. If I text a girl she will either ignore the first text, or respond to me until I set up a date. If she responds at all, a date is 99% on in my experience. You are getting these results because you are not making it clear to the girl in the initial interaction that you have any interest in her.

[baller08]

I disagree, Jon. There is zero chance a girl doesn't know a guy is interested in her if he's talking to her out of the blue. Hell, most of the time a girl doesn't respond because the guy is already so interested....that's why most of the beginners can't even get a phone number when they start out.

I'm not sure why some of you guys here are doing the "maybe she got sick", "maybe she lost her phone" type of excuses. Obviously the 99% probability here is that she wasn't interested. Chaos got it right when he said that she didn't bite on any of his playful baits and Mace asked her out anyway so of course she's just going to stop responding.

Mace isn't disagreeing that having a better initial interaction is the best way to go. But in those cases that he doesn't or couldn't then texting banter and a phone call will bridge that gap. What's so wrong about that? That's real world and practical. It's just another medium of communication. Why is this such a big fucking deal?

The whole "maybe" routine that playmaker came up with is silly at best. Mace is saying there is always something you could do better; it doesn't mean you'll get every girl but a lot of guys lose a lot of women too because they don't learn from their mistakes.

Ideally make your initial interaction more attractive and memorable. However, if you aren't able to, having a few good banter on text or a phone call can help promote more attraction and comfort and bridge what you didn't have in the initial meeting.

What's so wrong about that?

[Mark]

What's bad is I don't really want to go on dates with girls that have to be convinced to go on a date with me. I'd rather just go find another woman who's excited to see me.

But perhaps that's a privileged position.

It's not that it doesn't work, it's more of a effort/reward thing, as well as a mindset thing. It falls back into the desperate chasing girls mindset, which ideally, we're here to get guys out of that mindset.

I think this thread and Mace's others are far more appropriate on a PUA forum, not here.

[Jon]

(04-27-2012 02:52 PM)baller08 Wrote:  I disagree, Jon. There is zero chance a girl doesn't know a guy is interested in her if he's talking to her out of the blue. Hell, most of the time a girl doesn't respond because the guy is already so interested....that's why most of the beginners can't even get a phone number when they start out.

1) I know what you mean but in practice, when guys are really indirect, girls will either not realize or choose to ignore that the guy is into them. I have a friend who is generally quite good with girls, but used to be really indirect, to the point that he met a girl at a bar, got her number, invited her to brunch, and noticed an engagement ring on her finger. Maybe she knew he wanted to bang her (probably) but because he didn't put it on the table she could just sort of ignore that fact

2) the reason beginners don't get numbers is because they don't ask for them. Women will almost always give out the number if asked.

Quote:Mace isn't disagreeing that having a better initial interaction is the best way to go. But in those cases that he doesn't or couldn't then texting banter and a phone call will bridge that gap. What's so wrong about that? That's real world and practical. It's just another medium of communication. Why is this such a big fucking deal?

If it works fine, whatever. I have never had a situation where this was an issue. You are far better off making it obvious when you get the number that you are asking for the number because you want to set up a date. You have the number, you text, if she replies act like a fucking man, do what you said you were going to do, and set up a date. No talking about flowers or books or your friend or shit. Walk straight, do what you said you were going to do. It is more attractive.

[baller08]

Quote:What's bad is I don't really want to go on dates with girls that have to be convinced to go on a date with me. I'd rather just go find another woman who's excited to see me.

But perhaps that's a privileged position.

It is and that's a position that has to be earned. You earn it by having dates and learning from your mistakes. I don't see banter on text as convincing a girl, I just see it as an extension of the initial conversation. Eventually, if a guy gets enough women, he'll learn how to make the initial interaction better and subsequent secondary communication becomes less necessary other than logistics for the 1st date.

What I have an issue with here is the whole "maybe" bullshit and the "who knows?" excuse. This doesn't help the Old Guys, Creatine Dreams, Juggernauts and all the newer guys that come on here. In their case it isn't that the girl got kidnapped by aliens, it's because there are reasons in their initial AND subsequent communications that needs improving. Saying "maybe she got eaten by a tiger, move onto the next" doesn't help them learn anything. All they're going to do is repeat the same mistake on the next girl.

They SHOULD move onto the next, but they should also own that they could have done better and learn from it.

[Mace]

(04-27-2012 03:01 PM)Mark Wrote:  What's bad is I don't really want to go on dates with girls that have to be convinced to go on a date with me. I'd rather just go find another woman who's excited to see me.

But perhaps that's a privileged position.

It's not that it doesn't work, it's more of a effort/reward thing, as well as a mindset thing. It falls back into the desperate chasing girls mindset, which ideally, we're here to get guys out of that mindset.

I think this thread and Mace's others are far more appropriate on a PUA forum, not here.

Mark, I know I'm awesome. The girl doesn't know that yet. The chase/woo the girl element is part of any boy-meets-girl seduction.

A girl who dates a guy via her social circle has known him for a significantly longer period. She has enough of a basis to form a judgement for him, and he's been "vetted" by her friends. Now if he texts her out, she's very likely to say yes if she likes him.

Now a stranger cold approaches you, chats you up for 10 minutes. For those 10 minutes you are charmed, and you give him your number. A day or two later he suddenly texts you out. Can you blame her for not being convinced of your awesomeness for those 10 minutes and investing in what could potentially be an awkward date?

Mark, if you've spent any significant time around <25 American girls, you know they throw words like "creepy" and "awkward" around like no tomorrow. They want to avoid awkwardness at all costs - and for many, an hour or two is too much to invest from a 10 minute interaction. That's why an element of comfort building - via text and phone - is a sound method of courtship.

If you're saying you can cold approach attractive young American college girls in America, chat them up for 10 minutes, text them to come out, and have them show up for a date 90% of the time (as you claimed in another post) I want you to tell us how it's done.

[baller08]

Quote:2) the reason beginners don't get numbers is because they don't ask for them. Women will almost always give out the number if asked.

You're not new to the forum right? I think there's about 80% of the guys on this forum that will say otherwise.

The whole "not showing interest" thing you're talking about is only applicable when guys get into the friend zone because they're too scared or don't know how to escalate. That's a different topic. There is zero chance that any woman doesn't know a man is interested if you cold approach her and ask for her number! I can't believe I'm even having to type that out. Are we all 15 years old again?

Even in your friend's case, if she showed up with an engagement ring on then she's either not very much into her fiance, would have cheated on him with your friend, or is just wanting the attention.....no way in hell does a woman give a guy her phone number, agreed to meet him for a date, and go "Oh my...he wanted to have sex with me? Why...I had no idea!" As you said she probably just ignored that fact, but she still knows he is interested. Every girl that Mace approaches knows he is interested, so I'm not sure why you said he is getting certain flakes because he is not showing interest up front.

Come on, Jon....I'm not going to get into all the reasons why women from the age of 13 already starts to see when guys are interested. This is so elementary its not even worth discussing.

[Jon]

There's knowing and then there's having to act like you know. As it turned out it was a "i just want to hang out with these people, they are interesting, and who knows if dude will ever make a move." She was clearly into the fiance and it was not going anywhere. Her logic might be "well he is into me but he's not really making a move, so maybe once he knows I have a fiance we can be friends" which does happen.

Ok, those 80% of guys who think getting a number is hard are mostly not asking. Unless you are giving off a seriously sketchy vibe, a girl will give you her number if you ask. It may be a flake, but she will do it. Doesn't matter who the guy is, girls give numbers to avoid having to reject a guy to his face.

[Mace]

(04-27-2012 03:01 PM)Mark Wrote:  What's bad is I don't really want to go on dates with girls that have to be convinced to go on a date with me. I'd rather just go find another woman who's excited to see me.

There is an inherent fallacy in Mark's argument.

Mark doesn't believe in "chasing" any one girl. But Mark wants to find "another woman who's excited to see me." The only way this is possible is... to chase more girls.

If she's given you her number and she's responding to your texts there is always potential. Instead of wasting time and energy and chasing more girls and playing an endless numbers game, improve your ROI on the numbers you DO have!

---

(04-27-2012 02:52 PM)baller08 Wrote:  Mace isn't disagreeing that having a better initial interaction is the best way to go. But in those cases that he doesn't or couldn't then texting banter and a phone call will bridge that gap. What's so wrong about that? That's real world and practical. It's just another medium of communication. Why is this such a big fucking deal?

The whole "maybe" routine that playmaker came up with is silly at best. Mace is saying there is always something you could do better; it doesn't mean you'll get every girl but a lot of guys lose a lot of women too because they don't learn from their mistakes.

Ideally make your initial interaction more attractive and memorable. However, if you aren't able to, having a few good banter on text or a phone call can help promote more attraction and comfort and bridge what you didn't have in the initial meeting.

What's so wrong about that?

This man gets it.

[Jon]

(04-27-2012 03:18 PM)Mace Wrote:  Mark, if you've spent any significant time around <25 American girls, you know they throw words like "creepy" and "awkward" around like no tomorrow. They want to avoid awkwardness at all costs - and for many, an hour or two is too much to invest from a 10 minute interaction. That's why an element of comfort building - via text and phone - is a sound method of courtship.

If you're saying you can cold approach attractive young American college girls in America, chat them up for 10 minutes, text them to come out, and have them show up for a date 90% of the time (as you claimed in another post) I want you to tell us how it's done.

Lol, your experience with American college girls is drastically different from mine. If a girl will come home with me after about an hour at a bar, this whole "grab a drink for an hour" thing is really not a big deal.

College girls are also so outrageously impressed by guys who have their shit together (which is totally reasonable since most college dudes don't) that the following is how its done

1) dress like you have a job
2) talk like you have an interesting lifestyle
3) flirt a bit
4) seem genuinely interested in her
5) Make concrete plans in person. This last bit is actually a big plus with younger women. Most guys are like "uh, lets hang out some time, somewhere." If you say "I know this great bar on x and y, let's go. What are you doing Wednesday at 8?" She will be massively impressed. If you throw in "It has ceviche, are you ok with sea food" she will be amazed. If you top it off with "it's pretty casual, not sneakers casual but jeans casual" her head might explode at how worldly and together you are.

---

(04-27-2012 03:13 PM)baller08 Wrote:  

Quote:What's bad is I don't really want to go on dates with girls that have to be convinced to go on a date with me. I'd rather just go find another woman who's excited to see me.

But perhaps that's a privileged position.

It is and that's a position that has to be earned. You earn it by having dates and learning from your mistakes. I don't see banter on text as convincing a girl, I just see it as an extension of the initial conversation. Eventually, if a guy gets enough women, he'll learn how to make the initial interaction better and subsequent secondary communication becomes less necessary other than logistics for the 1st date.

Look we all have limited energy and time. As you yourself acknowledge, if you are good at this, the initial interaction goes well enough that you don't need phone or text game. That's the goal. You are exerting time and energy towards a skill you should ultimately drop for short term validation.

Here's my analogy.

Some college football teams use offenses that are good for college, but not great for the NFL. Tim Tebow learned such an offense. He rushed a lot for Florida, won a championship. Problem is, it's not a good pro offense. Contrast that with Andrew Luck. No championship for Stanford, but he went in the first round because he pro offense and was thus more prepared for the big leagues (note he also got drafted over RG3, who is arguably more naturally talented, but didn't have a track record of playing a pro offense - although it's not as bad as Tebow).

[Leo]

Mace, I've had sex wit women (not college girls so far) on the first date after spending few minutes with her the first time we met. If she's really attracted to you she's not gonna make it hard for you, no BS, no games, it's almost direct to sex. It's a numbers game, open a lot of girls.

---

(04-27-2012 02:52 PM)baller08 Wrote:  Ideally make your initial interaction more attractive and memorable. However, if you aren't able to, having a few good banter on text or a phone call can help promote more attraction and comfort and bridge what you didn't have in the initial meeting.

What's so wrong about that?

It's fucking hard. And why the obssesion? Next!