How long do you wait?

[Oli]

Hey guys, I have a question regarding girls that you date that don't put out right away. Namely, how long do you stick around? I mean, it obviously depends on how you feel about her, how much of a prude she is, etc. Just recently I dated a girl for about a month and it went just about nowhere sexually, and I can't help but feel that she was just a big cocktease. On the other hand, she was a virgin, so they usually need more time I guess. I don't know, what should I expect from virgins? Also, I've heard that lots of guys out here in Germany will court a girl for a good couple of months and then sleep with her. So, is putting up with girls for nothing "in return" for a couple of weeks a winning strategy? Sounds like fucking torture to me.

[Mark]

Virgins can take months and months. If I meet a virgin, I basically expect nothing from them. Sometimes they'll surprise you, but usually not.

As for how long I'll wait... generally the third date is my limit, unless I really like her a lot. But it's not really a conscious decision... I just kind of get bored after three dates if we're not having sex yet.

[SeXyBaCk]

I dont get the "nothing in return" attitude. So you're going out with someone (maybe paying for dinner) and you're sitting there wondering if she'll let you into your pants that evening? Mate, you're setting yourself up for for either some awkward below par sex or worst case some kind of beat down.

So if dating feels like torture to you because you just want sex... you need to start having either one night stands or just take up the services of a sex worker. You're wasting your own and the girls time by going on dates when really what you want is just lots of sex. If you do want a relationship you need to let go of the sex is a reward attitude. Actually, let go of that in any case.

In this day and age, if chemistry is right between the two of you (and logistics allow it) by the end of the 3rd of 4th longer meeting ...it just happens. If it doesn't happen because "yxz" she/they at least indicate they want to. Usually i know by the 3rd time of meeting (2nd date) where the relationship is going and so does she. Some strict rule of thumb though doesn't seem productive to me. As in drop her like a hot potato and run if it doesn't happen within a week.

I don't know, I'm trying to remember if I ever was sitting there wondering if a woman wanted to have sex with me or not. Always seems pretty darn obvious to me. Specially western women. They practically spell it out for you. If one happens to be that cryptic, just ask, want to come home with me. Or "say...when are we going to fuck each other?' (mind, ask in a private setting, don't cause embarrassment) Even if they don't right then and there, the way they answer will reveal their intentions and desires. ... then just take it from there.

Can't give any advice on virgins. I'm too old for that. As for girls who like you emotionally but are frigid... that's a tough one. Thankfully I've not been involved with such a person. I appreciate they exist though. I find it hard to imagine someone not wanting to have sex when they're attracted to someone. Knowing myself, I'd lack the patience to overcome such a dilemma.