How do you know if you are good at sex and how do you continue to improve?

[Creatine Dreams]

So I just finished dating this girl for the past two months.

Going into it, I was unconfident regarding my sexual abilities.

I knew I was a good kisser, so I decided to approach sex like kissing.

In the beginning, sex was a little awkward as we were both drunk.
I sometimes had trouble finding the hole and I lasted about 5 minutes.
Once time, I could not get an erection at all (I blame porn and alcohol).

After a while, I moderated how much I drank and I stopped watching porn and I cut my masturbation to once a week.

Consequently, I feel that sex got better. When I sometimes had trouble finding the hole, I would ask the girl to gently guide me in. I was now able to last a lot longer and sync up my rhythm with hers. As a result, the girl I was with seemed more enthusiastic about sex. She started telling me how good it felt for me to be inside her.

These were signs to me that I was getting better at sex.

Regardless, I still have some questions.

1. What are the best ways to know if a girl is enjoying sex with you? I know that girls sometimes pretend to be enthusiastic in order for you to finish faster.

2. If you sometimes cannot find the hole, is it a major turnoff for women?

3. How many positions should you employee in you sex life? I mostly had sex with this woman missionary style and woman on top. Do I need more variety or should I just stick to what feels good?

4. If a girl does not ask you to eat her out, should you just do it?

[CHB2]

Probably a good place to start is this post http://postmasculine.com/getting-good-at-sex

In reply to your specific questions:

1. Ask her. You can often tell if a girl has actually had an orgasm, but many girls will fake it. My last girlfriend could only have an orgasm in certain sex positions, which took a while for us to figure out. Women I have been with have had varying levels of understanding about their own bodies, so sometimes it is a learning process for both of you.

2. I have never had this problem, so I cannot comment.

3. I like woman on top the best, followed by variations of missionary. I used to like the whole pornstar switching positions incessantly thing, but now I just stick to what I like as long as the woman likes it as well.

4. I like doing it, so I offer. Some women are self-conscious about it and don't want you to, so I would just ask.

[Creatine Dreams]

Thanks for the response. And thanks for the link to Mark's article!

[Mark]

1. Pay attention to her body, her face and her sounds. You'll notice that she'll respond better to certain things than others: slower, faster, missionary, her on top... some girls like it deep and hard. Others like it shallow and soft. Depends on their mood as well. There's no definitive right or wrong way to have sex, it's a very personal thing. And it depends on the mood and the situation. Just pay attention to what she's responding well to and keep doing it. Ask her as well, "Do you prefer X or Y?" "Do you like it like this?" etc.

I think the whole "girls fake" thing is blown out of proportion. In my experience, it's pretty obvious when she's tuned out and is just going through the motions. Again, pay attention to their bodies.

2. No. Happens all the time. Have them put it in.

3. However many you want to. Generally the more comfortable a girl and I get with each other, the more we start to experiment. Nothing wrong with missionary and her on top though. More does not necessarily equal better.

4. I don't even ask. I just do it. Especially if she doesn't seem turned on enough or she seems a little nervous. It's a GREAT way to get them full immersed if they seem a little nervous or self-conscious. If you can get them off, even better. I don't eat every girl out... this sounds kind of funny, but I kind of reserve it for girls I really care about, lol.

[SeXyBaCk]

Alright... I feel like I'm starting to sound like an old broken record for what I'm about to say: You're over-thinking this.

Rather than trying to be 'good in bed' try to enjoy yourself. Do what you feel like doing, express yourself, aim to be uninhibited. That's sexy to women. A guy who knows what he wants and just does it, knowing she'll enjoy it. If there's something the woman doesn't like that you're doing or not doing, they're going to let you know. You don't need a crystal ball to have a good sex life. To answer the question's

1. How can you tell a woman is enjoying her sex life with you? When she keeps coming back for more sex, she requests it, initiate, mentions, tease about, refers to sex. Sexual inuendo, sexual flirting all of that. In the actual moment of having sex, how do you know she's enjoying. Well she gets wet, wetter, more wet, faster, moans groans talks laughs giggles, gets all sloppy after and says things she might later feel foolish about saying, most women I've been with I've felt their actual orgasm, the contractions. You can feel it if you have your hand on their tummy, their pelvis floor muscles contract, including the anal sphincters. Again, don't think about this, just assume she's enjoying it, it's sex after all. Don't you like sex?

2. Uh... do you only have sex in the dark? Uh... okay maybe you imagine a woman's vagina to be situated in a 90° angle from the entrance/vulva, it's not. It doesn't go straight up aligned with a womans neck. It actually tilts backwards towards her butt about ... hmm 60-70°. Anatomy can differ too. For instance physiologically a woman's womb/uterus is supposed to positioned at a certain angle ontop of her bladder (when not pregnant) but there are abnormal positions and that, I presume can have an effect on the angle of the vagina (or vice versa, don't quote me on this, I don't remember!). Anyway, I'm making a hash of explaining this. And... I've just made another effort to try and explaining it, I can't do it, someone else give it a go. But I think this is why I feel you're having trouble penetrating. You need to slide/push more in an angle towards her ass not towards her head. Also lubrication.... I'm sure this is clear.

3. What's more important in sex is a rhythm, well in particular for women, rather than variety, constant position changing just breaks the rhythm. If you feel you're doing something to her that she likes keep doing it. Don't stop and interrupt to do something else cause you think she'll like something else you do as well. If you need to stop because you're about to cum...just stop but hold in the same position and just talk dirty to her.

4. yes. Just do it if you like doing it. All women like their guy going down on them. Say you enjoy it and they'll enjoy it even more. That's how I feel. No women I've been with has denied me this.

Finally alcohol and more so drugs are really bad for your sexlife, just cut them out when you have a steady sex partner. You can still have the occasional wonky drunk sex together if there's some reason to celebrate.

I think you've figured this out yourself already... sex just gets better the better you know someone and the more emotionally connected you are to them. Which is why sex with someone you know always beats random sexual encounters.