How can I stop missed opportunities in academics from getting me down occasionally?

[Reesays]

So as a kid I was pretty much an overachiever. I made straight A's in all of my classes and always had an inclination to learn new things. I won some awards and stuff as well. Then my family moved to the Dixie and my parents, being a bit ignorant, sent me to school in a ghetto area where the standards were low, teachers did not teach, class made it heck for anyone that wanted to learn and all.

When college admissions came around my resume was weak, I had a 3.2 GPA with a 1980 or si SAT score and that was without test prep courses or anything like that, which a lot of the 2200+ students I now know had.

On top of that my parents did not let me interact at all in school, they punished me and yelled at me for even thinking about doing after school activities, h3ll was a place called home because everything and everyone was so loud that I could not study. Parents were super-nazi about sending me to a library and that resulted in bad grades (B's and C's in school).

It gets a bit worse. In college, my parents FORCED me (actually, I kinda lacked the funds and the backbone to tell them to phuck off) to major in Chemistry, a subject THEY KNEW I was bad at. On top of that they made college into high school for me, did not let me have my own car, when I tried to get a job they caused h3ll in my life and made my life miserable (mom is PRETTY GOOD at making everyone's life miserable).

So currently I have a 2.7 GPA right now after 3 semesters of college, this semester I should make All A's and that should go up BUT I am at a college I do not want to be at and still depressed about what could have been. I just think HAD one thing gone in my favor, or had I had SOME FREEDOM I would be sitting at an Ivy League or a similar university right now. Yet I know I will never have that chance in life, how do I cope with the depression?

[Zac]

My advice if you want it. This is what you do. You literally do exactly what you want with your education. You don't give one single fuck what any mother fucker tells you to do. You listen to their words and weigh them but you do exactly what you think you should do. I don't care if God literally descends from the sky and rolls up and says "Reesays I command you do to put your entire life into something you are not passionate about" You say FUCK YOU GOD NOT A FUCKING CHANCE I'M DOING IT MY WAY THANKS FOR SHOWING UP THOUGH AND SAYING HI MOST PEOPLE DON"T GET THIS CHANCE.

You are a human being. It might be hard but find a way to do take a stand for yourself and find things you care about achieving. That's a big part of what makes us happy.

You are definitely capable of doing great things. Don't be down on what you've already accomplished. You made it into school. You have gotten actually fairly good grades so far. The cool thing about college is it can be made into a really good long range game if you really dedicate yourself and really set yourself up for success.

First 3 semesters were off? Don't like where you in school now? Don't have the money right now to be independent? These problems all have a big common factor. They can be improved upon and changed and you aren't in a bad place. You are in a place where you really seem to want to question your life and maybe make a change for it. .

It's OK to be where you right now. That's where you are and that's where you had to be. I believe that everything "bad" that's happened to you will help make you a better person. Some day you might even love your family for what they have done for you. Everything is kind of a gift in life man, even the bad stuff as weird as that may sound.

Maybe you had to go through all of this to really get to the point where you say "Fuck it, it's an all out blitz on having the best life I can manage while I'm alive". Maybe you would be complacent for the rest of your life if your family didn't force you to this point of being so fed up you are on this forum telling us about it.

If I could suggest something for your family situatoin, if your parents are really getting badly into your life you should probably create as much distance respectfully as you can. If you live with your parents, you might want to try to move out asap. If you live away, just try and schedule like a once a week chat on the phone because you "care about making sure you talk to your family at least once a week" instead of letting your mom get in your life all the time and make it miserable. Sometimes my parents can really get to me and I just try and show them that I care about what they have to say no matter what but do my best to limit their ability to interfere with my day to day life. This is all me though and how I see it in my own situation in life.

You say

Quote:Yet I know I will never have that chance in life, how do I cope with the depression?

and it kind of kills me because look at what you just typed man. The only one single factor in the entire world that is really holding you back from accomplishing what you want to accomplish is whatever voice inside your head it is that is telling you that you won't accomplish what you want to accomplish. We all have those voices. It's our parents, our egos, our insecurities, all of it. Give those voices a listen, really weigh what they have to say, and if need be, calmly and politely tell those voices to shut the fuck up and get out of your way while you accomplish the shit you want to accomplish as a person.

[Reesays]

I loved your post, liked it.

Thing is, I would have loved to see how it would have been like at an Ivy. You have been really kind to me, here is a like for yer post.

[The Notorious PhD]

(04-14-2012 11:02 PM)Reesays Wrote:  Thing is, I would have loved to see how it would have been like at an Ivy. You have been really kind to me, here is a like for yer post.

I think Zac pretty much nailed what you need to do from now on.

Regarding your last point: I have attended Ivy League schools, and I also have friends from non-Ivy's (some even from quite "crappy" state schools). Here are some observations:

1. If you're a super-star, where you go for undergrad matters very little for long-term success. Not only have I seen this to be anecdotally true, there are numerous, rigorous economic studies that support this claim. Look up Christopher Avery's research at Harvard. One in particular compared students with high SAT scores who ended-up at prestigious vs. non-prestigious colleges. Avery found that long-term wage-differences between the two groups of students were minimal (sorry, I can't seem to find a link right now).

2. If you're not a super-star (like your typical college student with no real focus or drive), on average an Ivy or a similarly prestigious school will open more doors for you initially. But that's it. In order to be successful, you still have to be good at what you do. I will admit that there's a higher concentration of talented people at the more prestigious colleges...but you can find similarly talented kids at any school, you just have to search a little more.

Therefore, focus on getting really damn good at something you're passionate about, rather than worrying about whether or not you went to a good school. Cultivating good habits and pursuing your passions with pathological determination are inordinately more important for success than any diploma from an Ivy.

Many of my classmates from undergrad are garden-variety paper-pushers now, whereas other friends of mine who went to lower-ranked schools are doing supremely well - interesting careers, recognition, etc. The unifying factor amongst all my friends who are successful (Ivy or no Ivy) is that they have near-biblical levels of discipline.

Plus, state schools have hotter chicks and waaay better parties

[ThatCatch]

Pretty much everything I think has been said, but I'll touch on a few things that weren't.

First of all, switch your major. I was in psychology (I was planning to go into psychiatry or clinical psych. Due to some retarded people, I got placed into this major with no science classes that are required for med school) my entire first year. I switched to biomechanics this quarter, and I'm only looking at probably one extra semester depending on how our school handles going from quarters to semesters. On a side note, chemistry gives me all kinds of headaches and I hate it

Also, I'd echo what TNPhD said in number one. It isn't so much about what classes you are taking at what college, but more what you do with the knowledge you obtain. I can tell you right now I'll forget nearly all the chemistry I learned once this year is over, but I am applying my knowledge from anatomy into my future career already. Furthermore, you aren't going to learn everything from college classes and really, teaching yourself in supplement to classes is how you really gain knowledge. While getting into an Ivy may help networking a lot, classes aren't as important and what you do outside of the classes is often more important.

You aren't going to do that with something you aren't passionate about; like hell I'm going to read up on the latest chemistry studies, but you bet your ass I'm checking the newest studies on exercise science and biomechanics like clockwork [despite how poorly designed most of 'em are ].

Cheers and good luck.

[Reesays]

Excellent posts.

Yet I have an argument to make, thing is, when you are around better students, you tend to be a better student. I notice it now that I am making friends with successful kids, I am a successful kid as well in my academics. Thing is, what really gets me about my college experience is I never had the opportunity to go out on my own and experience the world, rather, I had to live at home and commute. Another point, I would have loved to have an opportunity to see how it is like to work on wall street and I heard they strongly prefer Ivy degrees. Not only the prestige but the opportunity of being in a place like Cambridge or New York City for college and being around a diverse group of people too.......

PS: Girls in my university are far from super hot, a lot have kids already and they are very cliquish. THEN AGAIN, my university is a commuter school which really gets me. Currently trying to explore other options brahs.

Yet I try to see the good in my situation, guess I get to be around mom and dad more.

[Zac]

You are obviously telling us this is what you want so what you need to do is buckle down at your school for a year and get good grades while doing something or some things as remarkable as possible in that field for work if you can find it and hustle your ass off so that you can put in your application ASAP and look damn good doing it. Starting right now. Stop talking to girls. Get off the forum. Come back here in every few weeks and tell us how you are doing towards that end. In a year or two I'll bet the girls problem mostly solves itself as you start to go down the path in life you truly want in your heart.

[Matty]

I think the first thing you need to realize is that this is normal. I don't have any specific advice for your academic situation, but you need to realize that EVERYONE has regrets about missed opportunities in life. EVERYONE. What your feeling is a normal emotion, and you shouldn't beat yourself up for it. By all means, work hard to change your situation, but realize that everyone had opportunities to pull the trigger on things in life and didn't. None of us can predict the future, and all of us have things we should have done. And remember that you're still VERY young and have a lot of time to do amazing things.

[The Notorious PhD]

Yep, what Zac said...buckle-down and study and get awesome grades so you can transfer to the schools you want.

Since your GPA is low, you'll need some way to stand-out on your transfer application. I would say take some difficult classes you are interested in and do EXCEPTIONALLY WELL in them - enough that you can ask your professors to write rock-solid recommendation letters or even make calls on your behalf to schools of your choice.

When the time comes, I'd be happy to review your personal statements on the transfer applications and give you specific advice on where to improve them. But between now and then, you have a lot of work to do, so get your ass in gear

[SeXyBaCk]

Looks like most has been said already. Everyone has regrets, and the one's that sting the most are one's where you know deep down that you could and should have done better. It's just part of life. We mess up. There's not much good harping on it, just use it as motivation and reminder to try harder from now on.

In europe our academic education is slightly diferent than on most of the american continent. We pick a subject and that's pretty much it for 3-4 years. So it's even more likely to end up with a degree that you've lost your passion for. By the sound of it you pretty much know you're not into chemistry. You need to figure out where your interests lie and you need to get on with it.

I went to a distinguished college in Cambridge UK for premed myself and I don't see how it's helped me in my career so far. I don't like the pupils much there, and it was sitting my dad back like 40k a year, compared to getting the rest of my education on the continent for like 1500 a year. Of course a fancy degree can help you get your foot in the door ,depending on your career choice, but ultimately if you're good at your job and are passionate about it where your degree was issued will interest your employer very little.

Another tip I can offer is study with the geeks, the book worms. Seek them out in class, sit next to them and get in on their study group. Keep your geek study buddies away from your friends. See your friends in the evening and weekends, don't try and drag your lazy drinkbuddy through college, if he wants to waste his time that's his problem. You're only responsible for yourself. So yeah... often the people that are fun hanging out with make horrible study partners, they zap the motivation out of you. Don't try and study with the ditsy girls either trying to help them. You're an adult, being a student is also a job. At the same time your college/uni years will be the most relaxed of your life so don't beat yourself up over a wasted year or two here or there.

Finally, stuff like the basic organic chemistry, cell biology, biochemistry and anatomy are a drag for 90% of people. You have to be a certain type of individual to actually enjoy those sciences, namely an uber-science geek. Nearly all left my brain by the end of the exam periods. I got the gist of the basics and if I read scientific articles nowadays I can comprehend them. I'm still good at my job. They're just like driving lessons, they're a drag, you still gotta have them though to get your own car.

[Reesays]

I guess I have done something to help myself out. I have like two friends, both A students, both my age, and both living at home while going to school. I see them being happy and confident in themselves and I end up adopting some of their habits too. Thing is, I am still a bit scarred by my past of not being able to have an opportunity at that Ivy League education but now I am more happy with where I am at because I see that there are some bright kids in my situation making the best of it.

Overall I have learned to love my time here. I have learned to appreciate my parents despite the limitations they put on me in the past and have been kinder, friendlier, and more warm to them. I think that I am truly seeing a life change coming on.

[Zac]

Quote:I think that I am truly seeing a life change coming on.

Awesome. Get after it man.

[Reesays]

As much as I want to blame the school system and everything, just seeing EVEN now what my parents do is insane.

My little brother, for breakfast he has a Bacon Egg and Cheese McGriddle, for lunch he has a Chicken Biscuit from McDonalds that my parents brought him in the morning, after school he had papa johns or something, he has buffet food for Saturday. He has Krispy Kreme for Sunday.

He is 8 years younger than me but weighs 10 lbs more than me, serious. He is obese, doctor says he is in danger of getting diabetes.

When I try to tell him to eat healthier my parents just flat out PUSH HIM into eating junkfood. He won't eat vegetables so my mom and dad do not make him eat it. When I have tried to intervene it has gotten down to "mind your own d*mn business".

I feel so sorry for him, and in a way it is sad that when I move out he will be subject to such parenting. Now looking back at it, regardless of good school or bad school, ghetto or suburb, I do not think I would have gotten anywhere with such people as my parents. Some people just have no business having kids and I would have gotten much farther in life had I been at an orphanage.

I am posting this because there was a fight between my parents and I this morning. Little brother had hashbrowns, sausage egg and cheese biscuit, large coke, doughnut, and a slice of papa johns pizza for breakfast. I told my parents they are crazy and they said "whatever, he should eat all he can now so he gets tall and when he gets older he will burn the fat off".

Literally, I want to help him but cannot. I don't even know what is going on in the mind of my parents but I think they are intentionally trying to kill my brother slowly, maybe I am being paranoid but you can't reason with them, the second you tell them that they are doing something wrong they catch a major fit, I mean really, why did I have to be born to such people....

[Mark]

My guess is your brother will hit a point fairly soon (since he's entering his teens) where he'll become conscious of his body and want to not be fat. Then he may do something about it.

I was a chubby kid. And it was because my parents fed me pizza and fast food and crap my entire childhood. It wasn't so much that they thought it was the right thing to do, it was more that they weren't around and just handed me a $20 and told me to order myself a pizza... or they'd hand my brother a $20 and tell him to drive to McDonald's and get something for me too.

I got pretty chubby, but around age 14-15 I became conscious of it and embarrassed about it and started running with some friends in high school. Eventually I lost all of it and got taller and became really really skinny (and still unhealthy, but at least I wasn't fat anymore... still ate Wendy's like every day). But the point is, in my teens I became concerned about my body and tried to do something about it myself.

I was pretty pissed off at my parents for a while. They divorced when I was 13 and they both more or less disappeared -- dad moved out and worked all the time, mom was busy spending her divorce settlement on trips and cruises and leaving me with my older brother, or at times home alone for weeks at a time. Neither of them were exactly all-star parents. I was never abused or anything like that, but for a crucial period there, from age 11 to 18 or so, I definitely felt pretty neglected. Physically and definitely emotionally. They weren't much better before the divorce either. I also grew up in a small city in the south... and hated the culture there.

As I've gotten older though (I'm 28 now), I've realized that their lack of parenting ability had more to do with their own problems and ignorance... they were never malicious. They were trying their best, they just had such issues that they couldn't even see that what they were doing was fucked up. They kind of see it now. My relationship with my mom is very strong now. My relationship with my dad still isn't very good, but we're trying to fix it. I don't remember if you said your parents were immigrants or not, but I imagine coming from India (I've seen it over there), your parents have a skewed perception of what nourishment and nutrition is. Places like McDonald's and Pizza Hut are considered fine dining over there (no really, they have chandeliers and everything), and people who are obese are seen as high status... well, because they're actually able to eat. All of the rich Indians over there are fat. Some really fat.

So you may want to just try and see where your parents are coming from. Even if it is fucked up and skewed. I imagine they're not bad people, they just come from a different world and don't really know what they're doing. One of my best friends is Indian and I know he had a lot of struggles with his parents growing up over cultural stuff like this. It's ironic in a way. Indian parents sacrifice so much to give their kids a chance in the US. Then the kids grow up in American culture and completely lash out at some of the screwed up habits and customs of their parents. Most Indian guys I know have gone through it on some level. Sounds like you may just be going through it a bit worse.

I don't know what your situation is like, but therapy helped me A LOT in coming to terms with my parents fuck ups. It helped me get a lot of anger out and get back to loving them again. So it's something you may want to look into. In fact, if you could find a therapist who is first generation Indian-American, that would be even better.

[Matt T]

For an American, Mark knows more about India and Indians than everyone I've met.

Quote:Places like McDonald's and Pizza Hut are considered fine dining over there

Sooooo true.

Quote:Then the kids grow up in American culture

I actually disagree pretty strongly with this premise. From my experience, Second-generation Indian immigrants aren't a part of Indian or American culture, but usually are involved in some bizarre hybrid of the two. Most Indian immigrant communities are fairly tight knit and closed to outsiders, facilitating the development of a distinctive Indian-American culture.

This is less true among the second generation of the diaspora, and it's not exactly Southall here in the states. However, most people I grew up with were Indian, and our subculture was at the same time Indian and American.

Quote:Yet I know I will never have that chance in life, how do I cope with the depression?

Sigh. Get the fuck over it. Serious.

I had a 2280 SAT and a perfect GPA, and went to a top 20 school (Rice). I hated every minute of it and transferred to a state school. While I don't enjoy it, I've had a far better time here, and I have had mostly satisfactory experiences with my professors, advisors, and friends.

If everyone who went to a top college was happy, why the hell would they have overburdened counseling departments?

[SeXyBaCk]

Dude, Ree, you need to do something about your brother man. You need to take him and your parents to see the paediatrician, call ahead, say you're really concerned about your brothers diet and his weight and hopefully the doc will scare the living daylight out of them and refer him to a certified nutritionist for kids.

[Reesays]

Was going to refrain from giving another thanks but Mark, that post, best I have ever seen from anyone on this forum, even better than SOME (not all) of your blogs.

In a way, I know you will hate this, but you and me have some things in common outside of being just human beings. Like really, I think to an extent you do understand where I am coming from and maybe what I have been through.

See your parents, they let you be, mines were super involved in my life that they did not know what they were doing. Sports and extra curricular activities were OFF LIMITS, like seriously, they would not let me join clubs they just said that extra curricular activities are for "troubled kids".

As much as we want to criticize Indian culture, and I am one of its biggest opponents, we must also give it praise. I have seen and heard about countless Indian kids go off to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, and MIT. Now something about Indian parenting is right. Thing is, a part adds up to a whole. A lot of those Indian kids went to the better suburban high schools. My parents wanted to put me in a ghetto high school with not many resources, full of some kids who really made it hard to learn for everyone, and then expect me to come out your stereotypical Raj from Big Bang Theory. Being at the high school I was at I got a bad education and most of all it was near impossible for me or any kids to have a social life.

I try to talk to my parents about this and I have, but it has ended up in a disaster every single time. Same as with my little brother's health, HE EVEN wants to change but they just keep flooding him with the crap. BTW, yes McDonalds and Pizza Hut are novelty in India.

Now it is like after all the BS has happened, after my initial education has been put to dust, after their med school dreams for me are pretty much dead (2.7 after 50 credit hours = pretty much no chance for a US MD), it is like they have finally let me have my own life.

I am flourishing, just yesterday I finished a week's worth of work, went to the lake with 8 friends of mines, and just enjoyed nature. My academics are going great, my social life is starting to get elevated to a point it has never been before, and I may finally end up leaving this town. What really upsets me is, what now right?

I went to an atypical high school with no football or basketball. I made many friends from the better suburban high schools but I hardly got to talk to them because my parents brought a more EXPENSIVE house in the urban district due to my high school being a "sciences" high school. My first year of college was a disaster, spent at home, parents stopped me from having a car (finally got one though), and I had nothing close to a social life. I will never have that experience of going away for college while young and interacting with people my age group, I may have it when I transfer and I am really looking forward to that.

It is like I see happiness for me but then I hear all of these HORROR stories (from real life people I have talked to) about how life after college just goes downhill. How you are just working and have no time for partying and such. How most of the good women by then are already married and taken. I look ahead yet it is like some DEMON from the past is pulling me back. Telling me my high school years sucked and my college years started off really bad.

I try to live in the now and make the most of each situation these days. I am 19 yet people in real life who I talked to have pretty much convinced me that 19 is just "too old". Ugh!

[Matt T]

Quote:It is like I see happiness for me but then I hear all of these HORROR stories (from real life people I have talked to) about how life after college just goes downhill. How you are just working and have no time for partying and such. How most of the good women by then are already married and taken. I look ahead yet it is like some DEMON from the past is pulling me back. Telling me my high school years sucked and my college years started off really bad.

Don't listen to the horror stories. Use your common sense: If life suddenly became a work-filled hell after college, why would there be a thriving club and party scene in every big city on the planet?

One thing you'll realize in life is that everyone talks a big game and makes a martyr of himself. Everyone thinks that they have to study the most in school. After school, everyone thinks that they have the most demanding job, the biggest douche of a boss, the most nagging kids, whatever. Everyone thinks that they are demigods dealing with problems far beyond what mere humans (others) can comprehend.

And this is what they tell people for sympathy and attention. Your job is to use common sense to sift through their bullshit and figure out the truth. At the age of 19, I simply cannot believe you haven't figured this out for yourself yet.

[Mark]

Yeah, Reesays. Overbearing parents suck. Absent parents suck. I don't think one is better/worse than the other. They each are fucked up and have their own subset of problems.

A thought I had: I'd bet a month's book sales that your issues and insecurities with your race are tied up in your relationship with your parents. Just throwing that out there.

I think the best thing you could do for your brother is just make yourself available. Don't push anything onto him or become overbearing yourself. Just tell him that what your parents are doing with him is really unhealthy and that if one day he wants to get healthy and lose weight he can talk to you and you'll help him. My guess is eventually he'll come calling on his own.

I also think once you guys get older, you're going to play a big role in his life. The only other person on the planet who is going to 100% understand what you've been through is him, and vice-versa. That's going to create an important bond. My brother and I were never very close growing up, but once we both became adults, we developed a pretty strong bond and important relationship. Talking to him it was like I suddenly found someone who understood every thought and problem I had had and was fighting through many of the same things. It's very valuable.

And dude, that's what I was trying to say on that other thread when you said, "None of you have walked in my shoes." We all have problems, man, and many of them are similar to each other's. That's why we're all here, to support one another and help others through what we've gone through. Sometimes the problems are different, but often they're similar.

[Reesays]

Well Mark, the contributing factors to my racial insecurity were

1. Bland social life, not much to do at all, pretty much boredom
2. Excessive amounts of time spent on the internet and being a regular/star user on Roosh V's forum (please, NO ONE ON HERE, go the travel section there, seriously, the most race obsessed insecure losers in the world, period, I mean I don't even think the guy who started that site has slept with anything other than escorts)

So after reading paragraph after paragraph of "Indian guys are undesirable to women in Europe", "if you are Indian and you go to Europe you already have a strike against you", and "ya, Indian guys have it bad in Europe, women will not even look at you twice". I end up getting maximum insecurity and I had no real life friends to pick me up and tell me that I am more than a label.

Then I got an active social life and stopped worrying about that garbage and worried more about my future. Regardless, one day I will try my game and stuff in a place like Sweden or Norway, just to see just how much crap people on the internet are really full of. I mean I lived in the deep south for nearly a decade and am still alive and healthy with friends, meh, maybe Europe is a lot worse with race relations but that is a subject for the past.

My parents have contributed to my racial insecurity at times, one time they said the only way a White woman or any woman would marry an Indian guy is if he had a lot of money but they took it back and said I am just different from another Indian guy.

As for my brother, I see him going to the Ivies, he is a bright kid and I will be there for him when I can be but right now I have to be there for myself.

[SeXyBaCk]

So naturally...I popped over to Roosh' travel forum. Pretty harsh stuff some of it. Pretty bizarre as well.

Not to relaunch the whole racial debate but I really can't tell how much of it is true and how much is in the guys heads, as I haven't experienced it first hand. I don't recall any of the women I've been with and had this discussion with saying they wouldn't date or sleep with a "brown dude". Some said they weren't attracted to how most black men behaved but that doesn't rule out sexual attraction in any way. In UK, I see mixed race couples all the time. My sister and a lot of her friends have dated indian guys, but granted, those guys were educated in the uk and all had good jobs and behaved well (the one's I met). Maybe british women are more tolerant on a whole? Possible. We have far less east indian people here in switzerland, and none in my current social circle, so don't really know how it is here.

I'm not saying racism doesn't exist (anymore) and this wouldn't be a form of political racism either, rather a .. feral one (we can't be blamed or change what we are attracted to. can we?). However, in my experience with attractive intelligent women (that's all I've dated and talked about attraction with) race, height, to a certain extent even looks (as long as you're clean and make the best out of what you have) play a miniscule part in their perception of who you are. Way more important is your mind, your character, energy, vibe and ambition. And all of those you can influence/work on.

It's important you already realised the worst thing you can do is focus even more on your racial insecurity. The worst thing you could do is reading/writing travel guides for brown dudes in eastern europe.

[Reesays]

Ya that wasn't me. Actually I am on forum bodybuilding and a well respected member on there posted his picture up, he is also Indian and going to Western Europe for the summer so he decided to get a feel for it. Now GET THIS, he did not even mention he was Indian but the users on that forum (elite ones), in a good way told him to stick to this own kind. Well he also lurks on this forum too and I think he might have posted here before. So he tells the people on forum bodybuilding about it and they were in awe, a lot of the ones who have read the guy's blog posts have said he is full of crap and many found his forum to be useless and full of BS artists.

It is funny, EVEN the minority users there are racist. Like this one Black guy there has a huge grudge against Indian and Asian men when it comes to dating interracial, when I was on there he had a big fight with me because I said I am not that crazy for Black women and prefer Latin and White women.

Well, I left the place. Though sometimes it would be good to get a general idea. I mean I am not crazy for English women but Italian, Spaniard, Portuguese, Swedish, and Norwegian women I like just as much as Latinas. Issue is, I have no idea how race relations there are like and how big of a deal being Indian would be. I guess traveling there may do the trick but I used to go on there to seek advice from those who have been to those places.

Thing is, this Roosh V guy is a wimp with no backbone so he hides in his forum and bans everyone who is not a 5 star user there. I was given a fear warnings like a year back but I just left. Anyways, after his totem pole post I find him to be a really racist himself. He read a thread on here about himself and some of the users there got mad for it.

anyways, in general, I would love to find out how it is like interracial dating wise in Sweden or Italy for a guy that isn't White BECAUSE lets face it, people in Italy are very traditional

[baller08]

Quote:However, in my experience with attractive intelligent women (that's all I've dated and talked about attraction with) race, height, to a certain extent even looks (as long as you're clean and make the best out of what you have) play a miniscule part in their perception of who you are. Way more important is your mind, your character, energy, vibe and ambition. And all of those you can influence/work on.

There is so much truth in this little paragraph. If most men today really understood it and implemented it in their lives, I would say that the initial 80% of dating problems and questions we get asked wouldn't exist anymore.

[Reesays]

only issue is

you find attractive women
you find intelligent women

the combination of finding a woman with both trait becomes an arduous task

[Pineapple]

(04-25-2012 06:59 PM)Reesays Wrote:  Ya that wasn't me. Actually I am on forum bodybuilding and a well respected member on there posted his picture up, he is also Indian and going to Western Europe for the summer so he decided to get a feel for it. Now GET THIS, he did not even mention he was Indian but the users on that forum (elite ones), in a good way told him to stick to this own kind. Well he also lurks on this forum too and I think he might have posted here before. So he tells the people on forum bodybuilding about it and they were in awe, a lot of the ones who have read the guy's blog posts have said he is full of crap and many found his forum to be useless and full of BS artists.

It is funny, EVEN the minority users there are racist. Like this one Black guy there has a huge grudge against Indian and Asian men when it comes to dating interracial, when I was on there he had a big fight with me because I said I am not that crazy for Black women and prefer Latin and White women.

Well, I left the place. Though sometimes it would be good to get a general idea. I mean I am not crazy for English women but Italian, Spaniard, Portuguese, Swedish, and Norwegian women I like just as much as Latinas. Issue is, I have no idea how race relations there are like and how big of a deal being Indian would be. I guess traveling there may do the trick but I used to go on there to seek advice from those who have been to those places.

Thing is, this Roosh V guy is a wimp with no backbone so he hides in his forum and bans everyone who is not a 5 star user there. I was given a fear warnings like a year back but I just left. Anyways, after his totem pole post I find him to be a really racist himself. He read a thread on here about himself and some of the users there got mad for it.

anyways, in general, I would love to find out how it is like interracial dating wise in Sweden or Italy for a guy that isn't White BECAUSE lets face it, people in Italy are very traditional

I went on the Misc back when I started working out. Definitely stay away from the place. Anyone who isn't a jacked, straight white male there is considered inferior. They really have a skewed perception of the world (a lot of them are unintelligent/ignorant) and I could see how messed up it could make you if you took what they said seriously.