Having a competition with a girl question for Mark

[Spikes]

Hey I was wondering if you had an opinion on this. When your in some form of competition with a girl your trying to pick up or going on a date with, do you play to win or let them win. For example thumb wrestling or if you went bowling or something. If you play and let them win is that showing neediness?

[Mark]

I always beat the shit out of them. And then make fun of them for sucking. But that's just me. lol.

[Tim]

Mark Wrote:I always beat the shit out of them.

And then if they complain, tell them it's the reality of gender equality.

I'm super competitive when it comes to sports and games, and I just can't go easy on someone unless I know that they won't play otherwise or if it'll be too one-sided to play properly (like playing one of my friends on the table tennis table at my work-which I practice on every day).

So yeah, if going easy on her makes you feel like you're being needy then don't. Beat her well and don't feel any shame in enjoying it.

There are those guys out there who are mature enough to get more enjoyment out of everyone having a good time. Good for them, but even if we're not keeping score I'm still going to kick arse.

[Chaos]

In fact I do play the "I let you win" bit... When I lose

[youregettingitwrong]

It is ok to win, but to win and then make fun of her for sucking or telling her it's a reality of gender equality (seriously wtf).. I DO NOT suggest. If you do so feel inclined to bring some sort of competition onto a first date, I say focus more on having fun while you do whatever it is you are doing, more so that trying to beat her. If you do, then kudos to you, but don't overtly try and make it known you are out to win this competition no matter what it takes! And you don't have to let her win, that is equally patronizing. Just play fair and have fun.

I'll give you an example. I have been in two situations where competition was present. One, the guy took me to play mini golf. Neither of us were minigolf savants, but he was slightly better than me. However, he was more into conversing with me and having fun than winning. We stopped keeping score half way through. In another scenario, a guy took me to go bowling. He teased me the whole time about how much I sucked, how he was a bowling genius and blah blah blah. His score was higher than mine and he really enjoyed rubbing that fact in my face and how he hoped i was better with human balls than those of the bowling variety. Take a guess at which guy I went out with again.

I also suggest that if you go for something competitive, put a wager on it. If you win, she has to give you a kiss or loser buys the next round (keep it PG if a new fling) this way its a little more fun and not so heavily focused on who is beating who.

[crazyhorse]

who on earth plays thumb wars??.

I honestly think that's a very childish game.... Especially when you've planned it in advance

[zkelvin]

youregettingitwrong Wrote:It is ok to win, but to win and then make fun of her for sucking or telling her it's a reality of gender equality (seriously wtf).. I DO NOT suggest. If you do so feel inclined to bring some sort of competition onto a first date, I say focus more on having fun while you do whatever it is you are doing, more so that trying to beat her. If you do, then kudos to you, but don't overtly try and make it known you are out to win this competition no matter what it takes! And you don't have to let her win, that is equally patronizing. Just play fair and have fun.

I'll give you an example. I have been in two situations where competition was present. One, the guy took me to play mini golf. Neither of us were minigolf savants, but he was slightly better than me. However, he was more into conversing with me and having fun than winning. We stopped keeping score half way through. In another scenario, a guy took me to go bowling. He teased me the whole time about how much I sucked, how he was a bowling genius and blah blah blah. His score was higher than mine and he really enjoyed rubbing that fact in my face and how he hoped i was better with human balls than those of the bowling variety. Take a guess at which guy I went out with again.

I also suggest that if you go for something competitive, put a wager on it. If you win, she has to give you a kiss or loser buys the next round (keep it PG if a new fling) this way its a little more fun and not so heavily focused on who is beating who.

Some girls like being teased when they lose, some don't. There are certainly more correct way to tease a girl about losing than others-- obviously, being playful and not serious about it is required. This is probably another instance of filtering out girls you're incompatible with. A girl that gets genuinely upset that I teased her about losing seems to me to take herself too seriously and not be as playful as I'd like.

[Tim]

zkelvin Wrote:A girl that gets genuinely upset that I teased her about losing seems to me to take herself too seriously and not be as playful as I'd like.

Exactly. If I win it's about enjoying teasing her, not trying to make her feel bad about herself. Youregettingitwrong, clearly the guy you went bowling with was more about the latter. The more tactful amongst us know where to draw the line. I stand by my advice

Oh, and crazyhorse, thumb wrestling used to be a big thing back in the day in PUA when guys wanted to provide an example of having fun with girls and not taking things too seriously. Yeah planning to use it in advance is weird, but a lot of what we do is weird. I wouldn't plan to definitely use it, but I've been with girls and just decided to do it and we both enjoy it. Maybe you need to lighten up.

[crazyhorse]

Tim Wrote:Exactly. If I win it's about enjoying teasing her, not trying to make her feel bad about herself. Youregettingitwrong, clearly the guy you went bowling with was more about the latter. The more tactful amongst us know where to draw the line. I stand by my advice

Oh, and crazyhorse, thumb wrestling used to be a big thing back in the day in PUA when guys wanted to provide an example of having fun with girls and not taking things too seriously. Yeah planning to use it in advance is weird, but a lot of what we do is weird. I wouldn't plan to definitely use it, but I've been with girls and just decided to do it and we both enjoy it. Maybe you need to lighten up.

I'm just saying that if you rely on "thumb wars" in order to enjoy an interaction with a girl you're starting of on the wrong foot. And I still find it very childish.... Seriously arn't there far more other fun things that you can do in order to enjoy each other's company?

It's funny that this serves as an example of having fun with girls. It kinda shows how few men really have an understanding of what "having a fun interaction" means.

Sort of how "the cube" serves as an example of how to have a deep conversation with women.

I've never been drawn to these artificial demonstrations.

[Spikes]

Thanks guys I think I know what to do now. This was always something I got hung up on for some reason lol.

Crazyhorse: I don't plan on playing thumb wars but if I'm drunk with a girl who is also drunk it sometimes happen. I normally start off challenging her then find some way to cheat. from there we start wrestling then one thing leads to another. It can be fun. I only brought up thumb wrestling Cuz i couldn't think of anything else at the time lol.

[Spikes]

p.s. the cube is lame