Habits and Goal Setting

[Darshinator82]

Hello,

So I have realized that I have self esteem issues, and that they have been a powerful force driving a lot of my behavior over the last few years (crazy workouts and dieting, reading about said topics, girls and sex over the last 6 months). Recently, a meeting with my counselor highlighted this for me, and it made me realize that I cannot continue to live this way anymore; I am so tired of working for others' validation, due to the fact that I do not give it to myself.

So I would say I have a decently strong willpower for a person my age, just due to how much this need for external validation caused me to push myself over the last few years. However, I have been hammered with this point again and again, and I have always intellectually known it, but have never acted in accordance with it:

"What ultimately worked for me and most people was not a diet plan or following a specific regimen to the ‘T’, but building a series of healthy life habits. Your will power is exerted to making simple lifestyle changes that are sustainable rather than drastic shifts that you have no hope of maintaining day after day, year after year.

Most people exert their will power on temporary fixes rather than life-long habits."
-Mark said this...

He also said that focusing on more than one goal at a time makes it much more likely that you will fail. So how do I choose what habit to work on? There are so many things I would like to be better at. I was thinking that making a habit of meditation could maybe be a good place to start?

[TheImptuous]

Sounds good. The meta-benefit of meditation is that getting the habit in place strengthens your overall willpower, due to the need to stay still, focus, keep good posture, meditate for a specific amount of time, etc.

Mindfulness in Plain English is a good guide for the ins/outs of vipassana meditation.

You might also try to break yourself of one bad habit during this period.