Good articles to read

[CHB2]

@ThatCatch Loved the introversion article. I was just having a conversation with my roommate, who most people consider to be a very social and gregarious guy, about how he feels he is actually a closet introvert and was just raised by his parents to be very social. I am really introverted myself and differ greatly from my parents who are both very extroverted. When I was younger they just assumed I was shy (which I was, somewhat) but I just tend to need alone time and prefer socializing with small groups of people I know well.

[The Notorious PhD]

'Tis the season of commencement addresses.

Here's a good one by Michael Lewis (of Moneyball and Liar's Poker fame), titled: Don't eat fortune's cookie.

Short, but deep.

[The Notorious PhD]

Not sure what reminded me of this today, but this is a brilliant and funny article published in The Economist many years ago.

Cliches aren't what they used to be

Is anyone else here as much a fan of their obits as I am?

[Tim]

I thought this was an interesting perspective on meditation if you don't know a whole lot about it and it's aims. Kind of breaks down what actually happens with your emotions as you progress with it. http://www.unreadyandwilling.com/2012/06...ctitioner/

[Nick]

Everyone here who has been talking about procrastination or productivity should read this article:

http://www.componentowl.com/blog/2012/02...on-junkie/

It's written by a programmer so it's aimed at programmers but there is nothing in it that a random person would not understand so it's good enough for anyone.

[Salaam]

Spoiled Rotten: Why Do Kids Rule the Roost

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/bo...z1z0sScG2V

[Alvar]

Those who are older may enjoy reading this blog post:

http://500hats.com/late-bloomer

and so here I am: still standing in the arena, in hand-to-hand combat with demons mostly of my own making, aiming to make a small dent in the universe. nowhere near a great success story, yet fighting the good fight and perhaps helping others to achieve greatness as I attempt a bit of my own. I’ll be 46 in a month, well past the age when most folks have already shown what they’re made of. but I’m still grasping for that brass ring.

I don’t mean to whine or bemoan my lot in life – I’ve been far more than lucky, and I’ve had a great time on this planet. (...)

[Salaam]

Do You Know What You Are Feeling?
by Peter Bregman

http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2012/05/do-...feeli.html

It sounds easy to know what you're feeling and express it. But it takes great courage. I was tempted to write an email to her about my anger, which would have been safer and kept me in a feeling of power. Hurt feels more vulnerable than anger. But being able to communicate my true, vulnerable feelings made all the difference in how we related to each other.

How do you get to those feelings? Take a little time and space to ask yourself what you are really feeling. Keep asking until you sense something that feels a little dangerous, a little risky. That sensation is probably why you're hesitant to feel it and a good sign that you're now ready to communicate.

It's counterintuitive: Wait to communicate until you feel vulnerable communicating. But it's a good rule of thumb.

[Salaam]

http://hbr.org/2007/10/manage-your-energ...-time/ar/1

The most effective way people can change a story is to view it through any of three new lenses, which are all alternatives to seeing the world from the victim perspective. With the reverse lens, for example, people ask themselves, “What would the other person in this conflict say and in what ways might that be true?” With the long lens they ask, “How will I most likely view this situation in six months?” With the wide lens they ask themselves, “Regardless of the outcome of this issue, how can I grow and learn from it?” Each of these lenses can help people intentionally cultivate more positive emotions.

[Traindom]

Great article on how to unlock the power of the glutes and be more athletic as a result: http://anthonymychal.com/2012/08/get-you...am-inside/

[Salaam]

The Five Hallmarks of Highly Respected Achievers

1. Tempered Tenacity
2. Consistent Commitment
3. Soulful Pragmatism
4. Strategic Resolution
5. Responsibility Ownership

http://www.forbes.com/sites/daviddisalvo...achievers/

The 10 Reasons Why We Fail

1. Like Yoda said, you just don’t believe it
2. Other people have convinced you of your “station.”
3. You don’t want to be a distrupter.
4. You think, “what if I die tomorrow?”
5. You wonder how you will be remembered.
6. You think there must be a pre-established role for your life, and you might be screwing with it.
7. Your career appears to be well-established and that’s good…right?
8. You are afraid of losing what you have built.
9. You think, “maybe I’ve hit my ceiling.”
1o. Confusion about where to go.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/daviddisalvo...y-we-fail/

[Alvar]

What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashio...wanted=all

[Trickster]

http://convergemagazine.com/featured/travel-young/

Here's a good article on why we should travel while still young.

[Salaam]

Helping People to Mature: Robert Kegan and Psychotherapy (Commentary on 'In Over Our Heads')

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.p...c&id=12696

1. First order consciousness corresponds (roughly) to Incorporative and Impulsive stages and describes awareness which is fixed upon sensation and movement and impulse. It is awareness but it is not really yet a self.

2. Second order consciousness corresponds roughly to the Imperial self stage. It is awareness of self as a singular point of view without any real comprehension of others as independent selves in their own right.

3. Third order consciousness corresponds to Interpersonal and Institutional self stages, and describes a sense of self which is aware of both self and other as independent needful beings all of which are (or ought to be) guided by a consistent set of values.

4. A final fourth order of consciousness is also described which corresponds to the Interindividual self stage in which self-determination and tolerance and acceptance of formerly rejected aspects of self and society becomes possible.

The idea is that all people pass through these various stages as they develop, but not all people make it to the end of the line. Adolescence is typically characterized by the transition from second order to third order consciousness, but not all adolescents end up achieving third order consciousness by the time they become adults. Similarly, adulthood is typically characterized by the movement from third order consciousness into fourth order consciousness, but many adults do not make this transition either. Nevertheless, the institutions we live under (in America and in the West) tend to make demands on us as though we have all achieved fourth order consciousness.

Transformation of someone's identity from third to fourth orders is not an instant movement and cannot be realized in a flash (no matter what the Zen folk say, not that I have any Zen knowledge). Instead it takes time, and even in some instances a grieving process may have to be endured before the transformation is complete. The reason for this is that it is difficult for someone to give up on values they have lived with all their lives. This is true even when those values are stifling people's development and directly contributing to the amount of emotional pain that they endure. Before a person can become comfortable with the idea that they can be the author of their own value system and can find a way to live where they don't have to hate themselves or reject important parts of themselves, they generally have to grieve the loss of their former attachments.

Insight is not enough to promote change. It is not enough to know why you are messed up. For insight to become transforming, you must understand not only why you have become the (stuck, conflicted, dysfunctional) person you are today, but it must sink into you that you are one of the people who is perpetuating the stuckness and conflictedness. If you can really understand that you are not a passive participant in the creation of your experience but rather the primary author of that experience, then you may find the motivation to start doing things differently, and in the process help realize your authentic organismic self.

[Salaam]

http://hbr.org/2002/05/how-resilience-works/ar/2

How Resilience Works

Resilient people, they posit, possess three characteristics: a staunch acceptance of reality; a deep belief, often buttressed by strongly held values, that life is meaningful; and an uncanny ability to improvise. You can bounce back from hardship with just one or two of these qualities, but you will only be truly resilient with all three. These three characteristics hold true for resilient organizations as well. Let’s take a look at each of them in turn.

[Alvar]

Salaam, you been reading my mind?

Here's the full article [PDF], for those that do not have an account with HBR.

[Salaam]

lol, great minds and all that

[Salaam]

http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/10/27/procrastination/

Procrastination

The Misconception: You procrastinate because you are lazy and can’t manage your time well.

The Truth: Procrastination is fueled by weakness in the face of impulse and a failure to think about thinking.


"This is sometimes called present bias – being unable to grasp what you want will change over time, and what you want now isn’t the same thing you will want later. Present bias explains why you buy lettuce and bananas only to throw them out later when you forget to eat them. This is why when you are a kid you wonder why adults don’t own more toys."

"Thinking about thinking, this is the key. In the struggle between should versus want, some people have figured out something crucial – want never goes away.

Procrastination is all about choosing want over should because you don’t have a plan for those times when you can expect to be tempted.

You are really bad at predicting your future mental states. In addition, you are terrible at choosing between now or later. Later is murky place where anything could go wrong."

[Tim]

Not an article but to follow on to Salaam's post I just read the Now Habit by Neil Fiore. Excellent book, and it's helping me understand procrastination as a general concept and also how it plays out within my own life. I would recommend it to anyone struggling with this area of your life. Will see how my own results from reading it play out in the forthcoming months.

[Elizabeth]

"Manifesto- The Case for an American Diaspora" by Michael Park
http://careerhack.net/manifesto/

[Jamie]

This is an article that can't fail to put a smile on your face.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-true-stori...-humanity/

[Salaam]

Ego Depletion

The Misconception: Willpower is just a metaphor.

The Truth: Willpower is a finite resource.

http://youarenotsosmart.com/2012/04/17/ego-depletion/

[Trickster]

An Economists' Guide to Dating

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/love-s...-to-dating

Interesting article. I don't agree with a lot of it, but there are some interesting theoretical tid bits in there.

[Alvar]

It's not me who get's senseless drunk, it's the glass shape:
http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/20...tml?ref=hp

[Elizabeth]

"It's Okay to Want Sex" from the Good Men Project:
http://goodmenproject.com/featured-conte...-want-sex/