Girls more successfull than the guy?

[TexasFan]

Is it a deal breaker in western cultures if the girl is way more successful then they guy? Meaning she goes to a better college, has a better job, drives a better car, has her overall shit together. I know traditionally the men are supposed to be the provider/protector, but is that still true in western cultures these days?

[Mark]

Not really. Although studies show that the more a wife makes than her husband, the more likely the marriage is to end in divorce. But I would say it's become somewhat socially acceptable.

[crazyhorse]

I don't know about that. I don't think I would really like it if she's far more succcesfull then me. I feel the same way with very ambitious women. When a women is actually far more ambitious then me, or equally ambitious, I find it to be a turn off.

[Chaos]

crazyhorse Wrote:I don't know about that. I don't think I would really like it if she's far more succcesfull then me. I feel the same way with very ambitious women. When a women is actually far more ambitious then me, or equally ambitious, I find it to be a turn off.

How strange!! For me is just the opposite, not only I like her to be successful, I don't care too much if she's more successful than I am. Of course is not easy for them since I'm moderately successful myself and sadly this society makes things harder for women but I value a lot a women that is ambitious enough to have a good career.

About how much does she make... I honestly don't care...

[DerDomi]

I think it has generally become acceptable, however I have to admit that me personally I wouldn't be 100% comfortable with it.

[IdEngager]

I think a complete lack of ambition would be a complete turn off for me. A lot of girls can just skate by on their good looks/female ways for years, she needs to have at least something going for her to me. Something about birds of a same feather. I honestly don't really care if she's more successful or not (which is a debatable term, anyway), as long as she doesn't belittle me for whatever success I do or don't have.

[Mark]

I'm with Chaos. I find it extremely attractive. I have the best chemistry with extremely smart, extremely ambitious women, and a few of those have been incredibly successful professionally (much more successful than me). I don't really care how much she makes.

And yeah, lack of ambition is a major turn-off.

[crazyhorse]

No ambition is also a turnoff for me. But I tend to associate very ambitious women with very domineering and masculine attitudes.

I don't know but there"s something very sexy about a women who can nurture very well. I always seem to get along very well with nurses, teachers, social workers etc. Maybe this is because I grew up with a very family oriented mom?

Anyways this is definetly a quality that I value a lot.

[Jon]

I know some successful women with a strong tendency to date complete deadbeats, so it does happen.

On the other hand, they get tons of shit for it from their friends.

also, crazyhorse, nurses, social workers, and teachers are nurturing, but they are also jobs that require a lot of hard work and dedication, so while it's not "ambitious" in the traditional sense, it definitely suggests somebody who cares about doing something with their lives.

[Mark]

Very ambitious women in the workplace can sometimes turn on that nurturing side of themselves in the right context. Those are the real winners.

I've always clicked really well with women who are lawyers or law students for some reason.

[Justin]

Jon Wrote:I know some successful women with a strong tendency to date complete deadbeats, so it does happen.

Ya, I don't understand that either. I have a buddy who's dad (who is a deadbeat) married a high powered partnered lawyer who has no kids but the dad has 3 kids to himself. When it comes to long term potential, I can see how most guys will be turned off to a highly highly successful girl. No matter how you put it, it's pretty emasculating to know that your SO makes 3x as much as you and has more power in society then you do. In order to get up there would also would require the girl to adopt male personality traits.

Personally, I love a girl with high intelligence and ambition (doesn't matter what or it doesn't have to yield any money). I still like my girl to be very feminine so the girls that I have the best chemistry with are would be doctors and nurses. (I see a lot of doctor + engineer combo in society) Bonus points if she wants to become a pediatrician. Not too sure about lawyers since I don't meet many of them.

[crazyhorse]

Jon Wrote:I know some successful women with a strong tendency to date complete deadbeats, so it does happen.

On the other hand, they get tons of shit for it from their friends.

also, crazyhorse, nurses, social workers, and teachers are nurturing, but they are also jobs that require a lot of hard work and dedication, so while it's not "ambitious" in the traditional sense, it definitely suggests somebody who cares about doing something with their lives.

That's not what I meant....

My mom is a teacher and she works very hard, she's also far more ambitious then my dad. But then again, my dad isn't the best role model in life after all.

What I just find is that a lot of extremely succesfull women (high powered politicians, think Hillary Clinton, Neelie Kroes) also have this "attitude" that they want to be in control of everything, including being the boss in the household. I don't know about you, but do you like that? That's just the part in women that I love, the way she can nurture a household, make things cosy.

ambitious in the sense that she cares about her life. YES! No OPRAH watching, chocolate eating deadbeat for me. But ambitious in the "I want to have control over everything", no thanks. NEXT

Mark Wrote:Very ambitious women in the workplace can sometimes turn on that nurturing side of themselves in the right context. Those are the real winners.

I've always clicked really well with women who are lawyers or law students for some reason.

When I say ambitious, I mean ambitious in a way that you're the one doing the housekeeping, the cooking. Didn't you wrote a post about this one girl who was a very nurturing?

There was a topic in the Belgium newspapers lately about "macho's from the CD&V (political party)". It was funny because they took one of the leading women as an example. Before she goes, she says to her husband "hunny make sure that the dinner is prepared oh and can you do the laundry as well".

have fun in that household

[Mark]

Yeah, this one: http://postmasculine.com/power-of-the-woman-caretaker

My point is just that ambition/femininity are not always mutually exclusive.