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Girl Escalating? / Day 2 question
CHB2 Offline
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Girl Escalating? / Day 2 question
Hey guys, so I had a bit of an unusual (at least for me) experience last night. I was talking with my buddy at a bar and a girl and her friend kind of bump into us. I immediately struck up a good rapport with one of them. We talk for a bit and she suggests we go sit down together. We talk for maybe 20 or 30 minutes and then she asks if I want to kiss her, which I did. Later in the night she is about to leave and tells me to take her phone number. Now, I don't know about you guys, but generally all of those things only happen if I instigate them. One thought is that she is from Mexico and lived in Italy, so perhaps I was just not pushing the pace so she took up the slack? I don't know much about Mexican men, but I have a few Italian friends who are ridiculously forward with women, so perhaps that is her standard for bar interactions with men. I consider myself to be pretty forward compared to people I know - I was touching her hip pretty much right after meeting her, had her sit on my lap, etc. - but perhaps I should try to be even more so? My other thought is that I have spent the last week really trying to step up my outward attractiveness, specifically I got new clothes, shoes, haircut at a stylist, etc. Now I am no Brad Pitt, but maybe it helped to explain her being a little more forward since I am now outwardly somewhat more attractive than I was. Am I just over analyzing this?

My second question is how to approach a day 2? I brought up visiting a specific park when we were talking, but it is cold and windy today so I don't think is is the best activity. I would postpone it, but I will be traveling for a week starting tomorrow morning and don't want the spark to die, so to speak. Should I just suggest a different activity, or make plans to do park next weekend? As context, I would say my weakest area is knowing what to do with phone numbers, as it is an area where my neediness most clearly manifests, as well as my tendency to over-analyze things (if this is not abundantly clear from my questions, haha)

Anyway, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
02-25-2012 09:09 PM
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Jon Offline
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Post: #2
Girl Escalating? / Day 2 question
Different women have different comfort levels with escalation. This does not mean that you are generally to slow about escalating, but her behavior was a cue you could step it up in that case. It's a matter of paying attention to the signals she is giving you.

Suggest a different activity. Say "the weather sucks, so instead of the park lets do XYZ."
02-26-2012 12:24 AM
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CHB2 Offline
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Girl Escalating? / Day 2 question
Cool, yeah I guess she is probably just comfortable with a faster pace. I imagine it takes a while to learn to calibrate. Thinking back she pointed out a guy dancing with a girl near us, and how it was obvious the guy really wanted to kiss her. Had I been paying attention that probably would have been a good bridge into trying to kiss her. It just feels like a fine line sometimes between kinda "being a man" and going after you want on the one hand, and being that creepy, pushy guy. Need more experience I guess.

Anyway, she was busy last night, but I have a date planned for this Friday. Thanks for the inoput!
02-26-2012 09:37 PM
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TooFastForLove Offline
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Girl Escalating? / Day 2 question
WTF is a day 2? Do you mean a date?
02-27-2012 01:23 AM
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Jon Offline
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Girl Escalating? / Day 2 question
It is a fine line, and in reality one woman's assertive man is another woman's creepy, so you always will run the risk.
02-27-2012 01:54 AM
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CHB2 Offline
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Girl Escalating? / Day 2 question
Day 2 has slightly different connotations than the word "date" in my opinion, encompassing anything you do after meeting for first time/getting number of whatever, rather than just formal 1-on-1 get togethers. It definitely falls under PUA lingo though
02-27-2012 02:01 AM
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