Getting "high quality" Women

[Lyze]

Hey Guys,

I've been working on a few things in my life the past months (got in therapy, got a cool barkeeper job, started working out etc.) and my success with women, especially with ONS got much better. About a 8 months ago I was getting women in bed every other months, now i get women in bed every week. So since I've stopped picking up the girls with some "technique" and just being myself my success skyrocket. Here thanks for the advice in the forum and especially thanks to Mark.

So I had about 10 Lays the last weeks and I realized that it doesn't make me happy to fuck just some random girl with who I have no connection with and today I read Chase article in which he wrote:

"But knowing you can get girls who are sort of okay pretty easily and knowing you can get beautiful, intelligent, caring, charismatic, girlfriend-quality girls pretty easily are two very different things.
And a great lot of the guys who get the first one down end up never getting the second one down."

So I've gotten the first one down. All of the girls which I got layed, were all 5, 6 or 7 (sorry for the scale).
So my goal is to get really beautiful girls with who I get a cool connection.


My question is, what do you guys think lead to this "success" with women?
You know, first I had this blockade in my head, that I could not any women which I think are beautiful because of looks or something else stupid. Earlier it wasn't there because it was all about having "Game" but since I got the new perspective that it's also about having a cool life, also looks etc. it came to my head that i was not good enough.

So my idea is to get everything cool, work out and get in shape, get cool clothes, work on my hobbys and education, complete therapy, work on my "Mental game" with books like Psycho Cybernetics, with winning in mind etc. (anyone tried this?)

But I don't know why, but it feels like that there is a missing piece. I mean sure I look better, get more confident with stuff like the therapy and my hobbys, but I don't know if this automatically leads me to more beautiful women? (Currently it feels like I've reached my limit oO)



So which advice do you guys would give? I'd love to hear Marks opinion too.


Seeya
(And sorry if there are any grammar mistakes )

[Tim]

If you're talking about 'high quality' only meaning hot women then this should cover it http://postmasculine.com/the-real-post-about-hot-girls

If by 'high quality' you mean women who make you happier, have plenty of qualities that you like, and have lives that you find interesting, then the answer is invest in yourself. Become attractive in ways that you want those women to be attractive. For example, my idea of high quality women is women who are compassionate, have a great sense of humour at all times, and are strongly independent. So I'm constantly working on myself to be more compassionate, to maintain a sense of humour as much as possible and be self-reliant. I don't base my identity solely on wanting this in women of course, but they're things that overlap with what I want to be anyway, and what I want I'm looking for in all other people, not just women I'm looking to attract.

What you pay attention to and invest time and effort into expands in your reality. So whatever you want, focus on becoming that, and looking for that in the world, and that's what you'll start to find.

[Lyze]

Thank you for your answer

With high quality I mean both, hot and women who are interesting.

So you think that I should work on becoming the person I really want to be, something like an "ideal-self"?
I'm also wondering if, when I take that way I maybe going to meet some cool girls but does that also guarantee that I get the hot ones? (Maybe i'm still thinking too much about skill)
I mean I've met some cool girls, but my problem was that before I was even able to start connecting with them, there was a lack of attraction on my side because of her looks.

So there are 2 things, first getting hot women and second getting (hot) women who make me happy.

[Tim]

Yes, you can have your cake and eat it too.

[Lyze]

Haha thank you, ok I think I'm getting it.

So about the becoming the "ideal-self", where do you think is the line between working on myself and acting? For example I am a really warm person, I'm that guy where the girls don't hook up with because I'm sexy, but because they feel comfortable around me, love my humor and like me, so do you think that there is also a way that I become more "badass" or get more sexappeal?
Lack of this is sometimes the reason why some girls like me but are not that much into me.

Lyze

[Tim]

Yeah I'm similar to you in some regards and trying to work with that. Basically you're not demonstrating your more controversial side honestly, and probably not being open with your sexual intent.

Both these topics are really beyond the scope of a forum reply, but there's plenty of articles on the site that cover it. Especially those that cover the controversial aspects of vulnerability e.g. http://postmasculine.com/a-note-on-vulnerability

From that post (which is quoting Models):

"For instance, making yourself vulnerable doesn’t just mean being willing to share your fears or insecurities. It can mean putting yourself in a position where you can be rejected, saying a joke that may not be funny, asserting an opinion that may offend others, joining a table of people you don’t know, telling a woman that you like her and want to date her. All of these things require you to stick your neck out on the line emotionally in some way. You’re making yourself vulnerable when you do them."

That's probably what you're missing.

And as for learning how to express sexual intent, well I don't want to be a salesman, but the entire sexual confidence program is built around teaching you how to do that: http://postmasculine.com/sexual

[SeXyBaCk]

By the sound of it you're at a point where you want more meaningful relationships. You've done the light-hearted stuff, got that out of your system (for the time being at least) and now you want to give more of yourself. Well... the solution really is give more of yourself... invest more time, interest and attention in a woman you are attracted to. It's not any harder to connect with a very attractive woman than it is with an average looking one. But you have to make an effort, open up, reveal yourself and be vulnerable and all that. It takes an effort/investment...which, when you're interest in someone you won't even notice.

For obvious reasons I don't think you're doing yourself a favour focusing too much on looks, depending on where you live beautiful people are a rare occurance. Focus on compatability, quality of conversation (is she keeping your attention?) and most importantly sexual chemistry. A part of it is slowing down and paying attention and not behaving like a kid in the candystore moving from woman to woman.

Some would say I was lucky enough to date two women in the past whom others described as beautiful, in any case, better looking than myself. Oddly enough in both relationships they established an emotional bond more quickly with me than other women before/after them have. Neither of them had a tight group of girlfriends that emotionally supported them, they weren't attached to anyone and attached easily to me. On the downside they know everything there is to know about men. Every weakness of mine, every white lie got instantly called out, probably because both had spent a lot of time around men, at least socially. Whatever the reason, they were smart, knew what they wanted and had me figured out. Which is probably why the relationships ultimately ended in seperation. They knew exactly what they wanted, which was heading in a different direction to where I was going and they're not afraid of being on their own. That's a risk everyone who is dating someone who is 'top of the range' is taking. Somehow there's less room and time for compromise and negotiation. It's my way or the highway for both parties involved.

I could go on about the pros and cons of dating someone who is very smart and very sexy all day. I felt far less in control of my emotions and every day life, which was both stressful and enthralling. If you set high standards in who you date you better be able to meet high standards yourself.

[Zelazny]

If you want hot women, go look for them. If you want "quality" women, you'll have to get to learn women more, to find if they actually have the qualities you're looking for. Though that depends on the specific quality you're looking for.

It simply means you need to invest more time in actually getting to know women and forming a personal bond with them, instead of simply meeting and slightly getting to know them.