It sounds like you're doing well. One thing you've learned is that if you stick your penis inside another person that does not mean your psychological issues will be fixed automatically. Good to know.
Quote:I still feel like Im putting on some kind of weird persona, like Im "faking" that I am less invested than her - Cause I am, Its like I know the "secret code" or whatever (appear to be higher value than her) which have made me be a pretty good fake communicator that Im less invested than her, when in reality Im probably not.
My question is, If I wanna get to a place where I dont have to think about it anymore, I dont have to fake nothing, is that basicly just investing more shit in myself (job, hobbies, friends, social life) until I come to a point where I feel very highly of myself and then I dont need to pretend no more?
Besides investing more in yourself (which is absolutely the right thing to do), how about this: you want to stop faking, right? Then
stop faking.
Mark writes about "vulnerability" on this website and in his book Models. It's a very awesome concept.
When you are being fake, you are putting on a fake persona and hiding who you really are. This implies that you believe that you believe that your "real" self is not attractive or not good enough (or even "bad", as people with shame issues believe). Faking who you are to be liked by her is in itself very needy. By being like that you're also more likely to attract women who fake, women who have self-esteem issues, women who are not sincere.
The solution is to just put yourself out there. BE vulnerable. Be honest. If your identitiy and lifestyle are attractive, you are attractive. And there's something very attractive about a man who believes he's good enough the way he is, who doesn't try to convince anyone of how great he is. You can be yourself completely and you will attract women. And you might actually turn off the superficial girls sometimes (since you are not going to fake anymore, you will turn out to be incompatible with girls who are, well, incompatible with you. Great!), but you will get much higher quality women in your life.
And it's going to be scary to be vulnerable. That's the point. You're putting your real self out there. It takes courage to show who you are. But in return you'll get the value of knowing people value you for who YOU are, not for some fake persona. People can't connect with you unless you put yourself out there.
Fucked 3 girls in 4 weeks, still struggling with self image
