Quote:Secondly, I just mentioned this in another thread, but what are you trying to find from other PUA products out there? The thing about Mark and this site is that once you've read a few key articles (and probably Models too), in my opinion you should realize that there's no point using any community stuff to improve yourself. He covers nearly everything the community does, and with a far better explanation too. I know I might just sound like a huge fanboy here, but seriously, who else (in the community) is talking about things on the same level? He explains very clearly why routines, tactics, etc are all just a distraction from the bigger issues of managing anxiety, having high self-esteem, and being attractive rather than seeming it.
Once you've read that, how can you agree with it and then still use PUA stuff? Sure, if you disagree then it's fine, but otherwise in my mind there's a massive incongruence. I couldn't go take a Love Systems boot camp now, because I know that they'll be telling me stuff about how you should loosely go from attraction to qualification to comfort to seduction. Once you agree with Mark that seducing a woman usually doesn't follow a linear model, and certainly doesn't need to, why would I go back to these guys who are going to tell me it does?
You are right.
But you are incorrect, also. Although this may be self evident for most of us, it is not for many other guys. Just think back of what it took you to get to this point. Or try going to any young and aspiring PUA and tell him that all he needs is get some self-esteem, do some inner work, take the higher road or the road less travelled
and voila, he'll be must better off than laying some drunken fatties.
Routines and tactics are enticing because they "work", they permit the student to earn a sense of control, and to feel like he is reaching his goals and is getting somewhere. I've heard somewhere that one of the most important things in self improvement is fast success, that is if you don't see quick improvement you'll be discouraged and give up.
The problem with PUA style of game is that the more you need the more you need to internalize self defeating behaviours. I think was Sinn who wrote that "[any school of gaming] works if you are a normal socially adjusted
guy". If you are that guy you don't need game, but surely will benefit you. If you need you'll need to revamp yourself and, in the process adopt and create a bunch of negative beliefs that may get you stuck for a while.
I wish that when reviewing gurus
or gaming theories we would pay more attention to these trade-offs. If you know beforehand that Pualand will make it possible for you to date and lay a bunch of crazy/low self esteem girls but that will came at a price you may still want to go for that but you may be more receptive to changing gears, when it comes time to evolve.
I've felt this trade-off first hand in the last months. While I've never used routines I've been pretty brash with girls and was having sex with 2 or 3 girls a week during the summer. Nowadays I have a hard time connecting with many of these girls with low self esteem and have time getting the ones I connect with to sleep with me on the first night. I haven't had it in 6 weeks
partly because of really bad luck, partly because I am wearing new cloths and learning to walk. Not that I regret it, It's actually been very rewarding. However, back when I was a newbie I would definitely not look at a 1,5 month dry-spell as an enriching and worthwhile experience.