Feeling Apathetic with Women

[Mike]

Last night I went to the club with a friend and met a cute girl, but our personalities were quite different and I wasn't too attracted to it. Long story short, she drove me back to my place and wanted to stay over with me or go to her place for more privacy. She blatantly wanted to sleep with me, but I didn't want and just sent her home.

Lately I've been feeling extremely lethargic when it comes to getting laid. I have a pretty high sex drive, but find myself not wanting only sex. (This actually helps a lot in the pickup process, because I've stopped caring too much.) I'm very motivated to go out and approach, but when it comes to sex, I have a hard time even wanting to sleep with them.

It's weird, because every time I hook up with a new girl I kind of feel worse now. Has this happened to anyone? What did you do about it?

Note: I'm also over 90 days off porn.

[FirstAidKit]

I think it just sounds like you need to find women who you actually want to connect with as well as have sex with. I know for myself I generally don't want to sleep with people I don't have a certain level of personality 'click' with, even just for casual sex. It's certainly not unusual...

[crazyhorse]

Hey Mike

haha I was about to ask "do you watch porn a lot", but then I saw "note: I'm also over 90 days off porn". For me porn really kills my sex drive.

Perhaps you're looking more for quality interactions? Maybe you should raise your standards for the girls that you're dating?

Just a few guesses.... It would help if you would be more specific about your situation.

[Creatine Dreams]

Yeah, man. I think this actually a good thing for you. You are developing standards! Your gut is telling you that the girls you are attracting are not meeting a certain requirement. I think you should listen to your gut and find a girl you connect with.

[Chaos]

(03-24-2012 05:41 PM)FirstAidKit Wrote:  I think it just sounds like you need to find women who you actually want to connect with as well as have sex with. I know for myself I generally don't want to sleep with people I don't have a certain level of personality 'click' with, even just for casual sex. It's certainly not unusual...

Yeah, because you're a woman and it works differently for you than for us. A hot girl has to be really annoying and have a crap personality for me not to sleep with her, specially if she's the one pushing for sex.

Back to Mike, if that's an isolated incident I wouldn't give it any kind of importance. I've had similar experiences because the girl would turn me off, I was too tired or not in the mood (yeah, that also happens to guys).

You're off porn, I don't know how often you masturbate... if it's something like once a day that might be the cause... Porn itself is not so bad, porn by itself doesn't take your sex drive away... If that isn't the case though I think you might have a problem that I cannot address. Sure, from time to time most of us doesn't pursue sex, but that's not an usual behavior and I simply don't feel qualified to judge on what can be the cause.

If the girl is hot, though, and she's the one serving you up the sex in a silver plate, specially if you haven't had sex for a while (masturbation included) I would say that's NOT having standards but a bigger problem. I would suggest to take it to a therapist and see what he or she makes up of that.

[Edmond Dantès]

a)Do you enjoy the flirting process and do you just stop it when it comes to sex or
b) is it so that you don't care about the interaction with the girl in general?

[Leo]

Hey Mike! I thought about this thread today. Lately I've been feeling apathetic toward women too, I was thinking that maybe is related about my standards, I can't be with any woman anymore; before I started to get involved with PU I was happy if ANY woman paid attention to me, I was so horny all the time because I didn't have sex, because women didn't pay attention to me, now I've had some experiences and want to go after women I really like, women that I find interesting, that hold my attention and I'm physically atracted to them. It's time to take the next step. My problem is that I care too much about them and it doesn't work. I have to apply what was said in this thread: http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Wh...-I-m-needy

I'm still working on it. It's not easy but I feel that's what I have to do.
I hope this helps.