FR: Back to her place Couldnt get it it up :-(

[Thor]

On the way back from work I stopped into the bookshop to collect a book I had ordered. Whilst there a tall blonde with a slim body caught my eye. As I could only see her backside and long hair I decided to go over and take a peek.

As I walked over to get closer to her. She turned and looked at me. She looked in her mid 30's very well dressed. I said somthing like "Excellent book you will be up all night reading that" She smiled and replied "oh I am just browsing" I said to her she had a foreign accent and asked her whether she was from holland. She smiled and said "oh how did you know". I told her I worked in Amsterdam for many years and I was so use to hearing the dutch speak english it was very easy to workout where she was from. It turned out she was some CEO of a large company that had offices around the world and she was hear on business for a week.

We began chatting away about Holland and her favourite places in Amsterdam. We exchanged numbers and I called her the next day. She began flirting with me telling me how smooth I was. We arranged to meet for a drink the following day.

We metup for a drink in a bar. Whilst I was in the bar I began flirting with the waitress. She walked in and said "your a bit of ladies man arn't you" I grabbed her hand and lead her to the sofa area in the bar where we sat down and chatted.

We had a few drinks and I was feeling alittle tipsy. After about an hour I said to her listen I am feeling hungry why dont you cook me somthing at your place" she agreed and we left the bar and headed to her place.

Outside the bar I grabbed her and pulled her in and began making out with her. Then grabbed her hand and we headed to her place.

This is where things got alittle tricky.Once I got to her place. We began making out on her sofa then for some reason I was thinking oh shit what do I do now. I had been reading David Shades stuff and Sex God Method. They were talked about being rough with a woman in the bedroom. But how can I be rough with her ? hundreds of questions ran through my head.

Anyway I led her to the bedroom and told her to take her clothes of she began taking her clothes of. The I took my clothes of and then began kissing her body.

Her mood seemed to change when I slapped her on the ass and told her to get down on the bed. She turned to me and looked alittle shaken and said "I am sorry Thor I feel like a prostitute I cant do this".

I said its ok no pressure lets just lie down in bed and chat. We lay next to each other and we began chatting about our families and childhoods.

It must have been an hour or possibly more we were chatting. She then turned to me and said "I want to pleasure you now" She pulled the sheets down and tried to give me a blow job but my dick was not getting hard. I panicked alittle and though oh shit this is bad.

I made an excuse it must be the alcohol thats why I cant get it up. She said its ok. So we just lay there chatting away.

Later I got dressed excused myself told her I had a wonderful evening and left.

I have to find a way of relaxing before sex, also maybe look at a few herbal products like Maca and horny goat weed. Has anyone experienced this issue before ?

[Creatine Dreams]

When was the last time you jerked off or watched porn before you saw her?

I had this problem a couple of times too and the best thing that worked for me was abstaining from porn or jerking before seeing a girl for 5 days.

Are you going to see her again?

[Thor]

Actually I abstained from looking at porn for 2 weeks then I was feeling so horny I had to masturbate. I jerked of 2 days before seeing her. I need to masturbate every two weeks or I go crazy mate.

Shes flew back to Holland mate if shes back which I will give herr a bell. I feel like an idiot not being able to fuck her !

(05-17-2012 08:27 PM)Creatine Dreams Wrote:  When was the last time you jerked off or watched porn before you saw her?

I had this problem a couple of times too and the best thing that worked for me was abstaining from porn or jerking before seeing a girl for 5 days.

Are you going to see her again?

[FirstAidKit]

First: Dude, your progress is awesome! You've really improved and gotten to the point where attractive women want to sleep with you pretty consistently. Well done!

Second: It's really not that unusual to happen sometimes, and its worse the more you freak out about it. The first rule of getting an erection is not to think too hard about getting an erection. The second rule... you get the picture.

What I've found works for guys I've been with is to basically take actual PIV sex off the table (until later, until the morning, whatever) and just focus on doing other stuff (mostly to me ). I think if you go straight in saying "yeah, things don't work too well when I've been drinking, let's just take our time and fool around" might take a lot of the pressure off you. Really try and focus on the things you are feeling NOW and the physical sensations rather than freaking out about performing. To be honest, sleeping with a stranger for the first time is always going to put a lot of pressure on you when you're at all nervous - when you start seeing someone regularly and building up you will gain a lot of confidence.

Lastly - I would not focus too much on the Sex God Method stuff to start with. Get to 'having decent sex semi-regularly' level first before 'mindblowing sex everytime' you know? As you sleep with more women you'll get better at reading what they are into and communicating with them about it. For the future, good tests to gauge how into roughness a woman will be (that have worked well on me, anyway) are: Pulling her hair a bit - this one is hard to describe written out but curling your fingers into her hair close to her head and pulling just a bit. Holding her wrists down when you're kissing her, pressing her hard into a wall are also good. If she's responding well to these - moaning, getting visibly excited, continue - if she pulls away or flinches, dial it down. You're basically trying to go for PASSIONATE seeming roughness, rather than tacky seeming roughness (i.e ass slapping).

But seriously - for now just focus on having sex, worry about all that stuff later. And well done again!

[Chaos]

Quote: and just focus on doing other stuff (mostly to me ).

LOL!!! Have I mentioned how much I love women??

[playmaker001]

Getting hard is luckily something I've never had a problem doing in front of a woman.

Oh and i don't know about "goat weed" but regular weed (or marijuana) makes erections (at least for me) almost uncontrollable. You can try that.

[Jack Sparrow]

Sooner or later it happens to all of us.

I am gonna get flames for this, but getting sex advice on the internet is just as bad as getting dating advice on the internet.

Alright, I qualify it by saying that most advice are not BS, but the the authors really do not reveal enough about the context of their experience. All that David Shade stuff is way too convoluted. H probably has one good idea, but he expanded into a how business by just adding more and more redundant convoluted fluff.

The Sex God was a 19 y/o kid in Boston. I met him. I am sure he has slept with a good handful of women and got some good insights from it. I think his general ideas are actually pretty to the point, but he's no Sex God.

Really, just have have regular sex with girls. If guys don't know how to have sex with girls, the human race would have extinct 100 million years ago.

[Halo Effect]

Thor,

Quote:Anyway I led her to the bedroom and told her to take her clothes of she began taking her clothes of. The I took my clothes of and then began kissing her body.

Her mood seemed to change when I slapped her on the ass and told her to get down on the bed. She turned to me and looked alittle shaken and said "I am sorry Thor I feel like a prostitute I cant do this".

It's really important to understand that a girl needs to feel respected and needs to trust you before she can enjoy being handled roughly. Think about it, you are basically asking a woman to surrender herself and her body to a man she barely knows who is much stronger than her. Some women can do that with no problem, but many women will need to feel that you care about them before they surrender to that extent.

Do not start by spanking and being dirty, but start by enjoying her body, complimenting her, arousing her gradually by stroking and kissing and licking, make her want it really, really bad and tease her. You increase the dirty stuff gradually.

Rules of thumb:
- The more turned on and aroused she is, the more extreme you can get in terms of dirty talk, roughness, dominance, etc. When she is not horny at all she wants to be your beautiful girl, when she's insanely horny she wants to be your dirty fucking slut.
- Greater dominance and dirtiness requires greater trust. A high self-esteem girl may love to be dominated and be talked dirty to, but only if it comes from a place of respect within you.




Jack, I don't think you own many of David Shade's products. It's true that people know how to have sex, but it's also true that many women get bored with sex in relationships and that women even cheat sometimes just because they crave good sex. By all means, get regular, normal sex before trying anything fancy, but being good in bed is valuable.

[Thor]

Halo\FirstAidkit excellent responses to my question. It was more of mental thing then anything else. Looking back it was great experience getting a girl back to her place and getting her naked even though we never shagged . This was an excellent learning curve for me thankyou all.

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Indeed Jack I was thinking too much thats all thanks

(05-18-2012 01:36 PM)Jack Sparrow Wrote:  If guys don't know how to have sex with girls, the human race would have extinct 100 million years ago.