Drinking

[T1234]

I know that drinking can have a lot of negative affects when going out to meet women, but it seems to be a reoccurring problem for me as I am currently in college. It really struck me last night I went out with some friends to a new years party and we started pre gaming like normal. Looking back I missed really obvious signs that girls were interested, two random girls came up to me trying to start a conversation and a third kept making direct eye contact. At the time I was too out of it to realize what was going on.

My question in how to handle the situation because drinking has lost much of the appeal it had when I first entered college. There are nights I say I'm going to pace myself but I often forget once I get a buzz going. On top of that it seems like you're being antisocial if everyone else is drinking a lot and you are not. I'm not sure how to solve this as I like going out and meeting new girls but often get wrapped up in the peer pressure of partying, which I honestly don't find that fun.

[Oli]

Drink pop and tell people there's alcohol in it.

[Chaos]

T1234 Wrote:On top of that it seems like you're being antisocial if everyone else is drinking a lot and you are not.

Nonsense. Just say, "I don't like to get drunk"... First of all is attractive, specially if you're fun anyway and girls will value a guy that just doesn't drink too much or at all. As long as it is a conviction and you freely talk about it. You shouldn't be ashamed nor force to drink to socialize and in fact the "being antisocial" come from people for which socializing is just so hard they need to get drunk to loosen up.

I personally never get drunk. Any night I will have two or three beers or maybe one gyntonic or something but it's always because I like beer and I like the gyn & tonic... but I HATE to get drunk and so that's my philosophy... and no matter what anyone can tell me, I simply do not like to get drunk and so I don't do it... so I'll say take it or fuck off, I don't care...

[T1234]

Thanks for the advice. It's something I have to make a conscious effort about, otherwise it'll be too easy to give in to peer pressure. It's surprising to look back at how many opportunities I missed. I also noticed I feel worse AA when I'm drunk, which seems counter intuitive. Sober I can usually remain calm and push forward, after drinking I have a hard time motivating myself and keeping conversations going.

[CHB2]

When I started college it was hard to not drink when all my friends were, but by the end of college I was able to just decide whether I felt like drinking rather than being dragged along because my friends were doing it. As long as you aren't trying to preach to your friends that they shouldn't be drinking, nobody should have a negative reaction to you not drinking. It is a little unusual that you have worse AA when drinking, although I guess its to each their own.

[Mykel Cross]

This is easy. Alcohol is a disinhibitor. So, if you have a problem with anxiety (most do), alcohol can help. Obviously, you can drink too much but, in moderation, it can help. Having said this, you don't want to use alcohol as a crutch. One of the things we are attempting to do in field is learn and alcohol has a negative effect on this process. Specifically, it reduces serotonin which aids memory encoding.

You should alternate. Push yourself for a month and drink nothing. It can be difficult and require dicipline but it's worth it. You'll learn more from your interactions (i.e. develop calibration). After the month of sobriety is over, reward yourself and drink away for a few weeks. During the time that you practice game while drunk, you'll get to observe yourself in a relaxed state and rehearse a different state of mind in field. This state of mind and approach will be accessible when you are sober. So, you can actually learn how to relax in field by practicing non-sober game.

[IdEngager]

Fuck it dawg, life's a risk.