Do I care about meeting the right girl ?

[Thor]

Over the last couple of weeks I seem to concern myself less and less about women and just focused more on other things in my life.

Had a few dates with girls over the last week or so but not fallen head over heels with any of the girls I have met. Theres a slovakian girl I met over in Slovakia a few months ago. She keeps texting me saying that she cant wait to fuck me when she comes over in two weeks. I want to fuck her but I am not all excited about it. In fact I cant be bothered to text her anymore. I told her lets talk when you come over.

Months ago I would be geniunely concerned if a girl never texted back and get angry if she didnt. Now I just delete the number if she doesnt reply to my voice messages or texts. I just dont mind anymore.

What I have found is that the more I focus on working on my self esteem the less I care about how women respond or whether I really need a woman in my life or not.

Has anyone experienced what I am going through ?

[BudCrow]

Yes. If you love yourself people are more likely to love you ect.

And I finally dont care about rejection, which is great.

[Vee]

I have been going through a similar phase myself over the last 8-10 months. I have really started focusing on my life, and my self esteem, and being confident in who I am. Doing this has made me become a happier person since I am not receiving most of my validation from just women. I am now receiving validation from other things in life as well, so now if a girl doesn't text me back or i get blown off it doesn't affect me nearly as much. I'm not saying I'm immune to such things, it still has an effect on me, just not nearly as much as it used to.

And like with you it seems you are now becoming much happier and busier with your own life, and so that is where you receive more of your validation from. Before when you would get upset about a girl not texting you back you would get angry because you weren't getting the validation you were seeking from her (conciously or unconciously).

I never really questioned whether I need a woman in my life or not per se. I got to a point similar to that, but now I think of spending time with women as something fun to do, just enjoying the time I spend with the women in my life. Whether the time I spend with a woman is 5 minutes of 5 months, just enjoy it. And if you don't like spending the time with a certain woman don't, go out and find a woman you do like being around.

Find a girl that you do fall head over heels for and see where things go. If they don't go well then yeah it will suck, but the great thing is there are plenty of them out there. And there is always a girl that you will find that is just as good or better than the girl you previously liked

Well sorry for the long post, those are just my thoughts and my experiences.

[Zelazny]

I've been noticing the same. I used to go batshit insane over potential women and their signals. Now I just notice that I'm attracted and go with that.

To the point where I'm starting a LTR with a nice girl, where I don't feel the "Oh my god! Does she love me?" or "AAgh.. what is she thinking right now." but basically fell back to a more laid-back thing.

Now I just feel calm and safety, somehow knowing and feeling that everything will eventually turn out well, because I'm involved with it. So yes, more self-reliance and less reliance on external validation.
I'm feeling more and more like a solid rock where I can give my partner the assurance and feeling of safety that makes her happy. It's great

[Ronnie Jay]

Hey Thor,

Good stuff man. I certainly get where you're coming from. I have no desire to have a "main squeeze" in my life. I just want to improve upon my ability to approach women when I feel like it. I'm not trying to be a PUA/Player.

But I would like to get my ability to approach women handled. The older you get and the more you have going on in your life, you really don't have time to cruse the streets looking for women. I'm not in my 20's, I'm in my mid 30's with a very busy and established career so my outlook is much different from a 24y/o guy.

Even with having a fuck buddy, 1 long term buddy would be cool. I don't want to fuck every chick and nor do I want to spend hours and days approaching women. I've too many other things to do. But I will make a goal to at least approach 2-3 girls when I'm out.

[Thor]

I have been pouring hours into getting my software consultancy of the ground and its paid dividents I am very proud of what I have achieved so far.

Ronnie concur with you on what you said. I am in my 40s and dont have time now to cruise the streets looking for women to hit on. However when I am out and about will hit on girls that I like