Date with Slovak girl - Question

[playmaker001]

Quote:LOL! It's ok Playmaker...I remember when I started to "bang" blondes, cheerleaders and dancers...man I thought I was king of the world too.

And the men who could run circles around me, with a fraction of the effort, chuckled at me too when I told them how awesome I was.

This response to my last post shows how "mature" you really are...

That's all I got to say.

[FirstAidKit]

Maybe chill on the condescension a bit? You've both got differing viewpoints and debating is cool but you are both acting pretty patronising to each other... let's keep the forum the bastion of love, harmony and hormones we all enjoy...

[Chaos]

Having some kind of emotion going on for them means that from time to time I still remember them, I wonder what has become of their lives and hope that everything is working ok for them, it means I'm glad if I see them some time and learn they are good and happy, that they are doing ok.

It doesn't mean I'm in love with them, just that I have affection for them (I don't know if that's the right word, it would be "cariño" in Spanish). They're not, and will never be like any other girl I meet and exchange numbers. Even with one night stands (I've got like 6 or 7 of them) there's always some kind of emotional connection. That doesn't mean neediness. I've had one night stands with girls and I didn't want anything more with them , I didn't want to have sex with them again... And still I hope everything turned ok for them... That's the extend I care about those girls of what I meant by "emotions".

And BTW, is difficult to take what you say seriously because you're basically bragging. I'm not saying you haven't "banged" a lot of girls... But it's still bragging. It still sound like "look what a man I am, I fuck and move one, bang chick after chick no matter what". There's a wide range of emotions and what you and I interpret as love might differ (also it might differ what I visualize "love" means in English, but probably is the difference in use we give the word), still I don't really find sex without ANY kind of emotion to be interesting, quite honestly, to have that I might as well jerk off...

[baller08]

All in good fun, Playmaker.

Actually I think most of the guys here will benefit from how you look at things rather than how I look at them simply because they have to get rid of all their "worship" and "fear" of women before anything else.

I've worked with 21 year old men who are more mature in their understanding of women than 45 year old men and vice versa. But chronological age doesn't always mean they have a better understanding of women or how to manage relationships.

And neither does how many years you've been at it necessarily. So a guy can be working on this for 5 years and not be as far in his development as maybe you who have been working on it for 1 year. That 5 year guy can still be in his adolescent or even toddler stage....it depends on how much he is willing to work on the rest of his life, how much risks he is willing to take, and how "brain washed" he was when he started. And several other factors too.

But there is definitely various stages to it and men have to go through it one way or another. The key is to not stay at any stage for too long for it to become unhealthy. But like any child, if he skips a stage of growing into an adult, then he'll always feel something is missing.

I think it'll benefit you a lot to be aware of where you are in conjunction to the bigger picture. And I think saying that Chaos or Zan's attitude about viewing women was not realistic is short changing yourself because I think its something you should at least keep in the back of your mind.

[playmaker001]

Quote:AllWith Zan, every girl he slept with is special. It's a special moment that they shared, not a notch on the belt. He literally adores and loves every girl he has been with, and he's been with god knows how many women.

@Chaos: I found this quote about Zan and you guys believing it "difficult to take seriously" as well. But, now that you've further defined the love as

Quote:Having some kind of emotion going on for them means that from time to time I still remember them, I wonder what has become of their lives and hope that everything is working ok for them, it means I'm glad if I see them some time and learn they are good and happy, that they are doing ok.

it's more clear now. So basically you defined it as you being curious about your ex lovers, and hope they're doing okay. Well that's something pretty much everyone feels towards others, nothing new. I nor most people I know wish ill will towards girls slept with from the past, or ill will on any people in general.

And everything I've said here is true, not bragging. If you take it that way, that's your problem and usually says more about you than it does about me. You took it this way:

Quote:"look what a man I am, I fuck and move one, bang chick after chick no matter what".

When all I said was this:

Quote:I've had some interactions like this with women, and I've had others where the sexual feelings towards each other were so strong that we said very, VERY little to each other. Doesn't mean one way is better than the other,

AND

Quote:am I the only guy here that sees a hot blonde and just wants to bang her sometimes? Come on!

bragging or honesty? Hmmm

[Chaos]

No, but usually guys who brag a lot about how many girls they've slept with are that way... At least the ones I've known...

Of course I've seen a girl and just wanted to bang her... But eventually if I end up banging her I will develop some kind of emotional connection with her... Just what I meant as being a good mindset because I usually develop that afterwards... I think it's a great mentality to have before you have sex with her... Of course as long as you don't develop that into neediness.

I think is a beautiful mentality to think every woman is wonderful in her own ways, evenif you're not specially attracted to her... Or at all. And BTW I'm not saying I have that mentality with every girl I meet... In fact I don't... But I can see the power in it

[playmaker001]

Also, i think their might be a language barrier between me and Chaos. If I'm not mistaken you're thinking of the type of love "storge" or affection?

from wiki:

"is fondness through familiarity, especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance. It is described as the most natural, emotive, and widely diffused of loves: natural in that it is present without coercion; emotive because it is the result of fondness due to familiarity; and most widely diffused because it pays the least attention to those characteristics deemed "valuable" or worthy of love and, as a result, is able to transcend most discriminating factors. Ironically, its strength is also what makes it vulnerable. Affection has the appearance of being "built-in" or "ready made" "

---

Quote:Of course I've seen a girl and just wanted to bang her... But eventually if I end up banging her I will develop some kind of emotional connection with her... Just what I meant as being a good mindset because I usually develop that afterwards... I think it's a great mentality to have before you have sex with her... Of course as long as you don't develop that into neediness.

I think is a beautiful mentality to think every woman is wonderful in her own ways, evenif you're not specially attracted to her... Or at all. And BTW I'm not saying I have that mentality with every girl I meet... In fact I don't... But I can see the power in it

So we agree with each other then Chaos.

@Baller08: It indeed is a numbers game, I'm not giving in on that one lol

[Chaos]

No, that's not it. After all it happens in one night stands too and SNL... So not that much familiarity. I'm still in contact with a girl I slept with 2 years ago... Like every once in a while (months) I'll send her a text to know how she's doing or the other way around. She lives more than 400 miles from me, still she makes my day everytime she texts... I'm just happier...

I would say the feeling comes for sharing something with her that I share with few people... Less than 20 to be exact... And I don't think it's a feeling that will dissapear if my number of lays were to grow... Or maybe my lays come strictly as a result of that connection and therefore I don't develop it, I just discover it... Whatever... It's there and quite honestly it doesn't bother me at all.

[playmaker001]

Quote:is fondness through familiarity, especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance.

The part in bold is what you mean right? And as for that one girl you still text after two years, perhaps she's more special than some of the other girls? It certainly seems that way by the way you describe your guys' relationship.

[Chaos]

Yeah, she's special, still she was also a SNL... That's what I mean... But yeah, she's more special than any other girl... And this is my last comment because I think we've managed to disrupt Thor initial thread... (sorry Thor).

[Creatine Dreams]

I think what is getting lost in this whole debate is how awesome Thor is doing right now.

^ lol.

[Jack Sparrow]

I apologize for making a comment that derailed the whole thread. But hopefully Thor will get something out of this discussion.

First i have to criticize myself for a bit of guru worshiping. I am sure Zan does not LOVE every woman she has slept with. Every guru, teach must exaggerate a bit not to miss lead, but to drive home a point. But I do see how his mindset is critically important. Despite it's importance, I am not saying it is right or right for everyone.

If you chose to be like Paul Janka - bang hundreds of girls. That's your choice. That's what turns you on, and I am not in the position to say if it's right or wrong.

However, you can take a different route like Zan, where he loves and adores women. With that kind of attitude, he was able to get 8 of his girlfriends to come together to celebrate his birthday. Zan has always been described as a little "rakish". I don't even know what that means. I get the sense he's almost like one of the girls. Except he is allowed to have sex with all of them.

We all just need to find our medium. Honestly, with some girls I just want to bang them hard, hear her scream and wake up her roommate, them just blow a load on her face. While many girls I enjoy talking to until late night, then make out, have sex. I am sure there is some unresolved pathology within me that make me want to F the shit out of some girls hard. But at this point I really don't care because it is not all consuming and destroying my life or the lives of the girls.

For guys who always want to bang the crap out of girls, humiliate them, etc. That kind of behavior will get them in trouble. But if it's just an occasional urge with certain types of girls, I think it's alright.

I think I'll shoot for 95% Zan. I just think it'll serve me good. But if once in a while I have the urge to just "bang" a bitch hard and kick her out, I am not gonna be too hard on myself for that.

[playmaker001]

hahaha great post