Can't get over her

[Heisenberg]

This girl was amazing. We clicked from the start.

Everything went smoothy. I escalated it fairly quickly. I was honest the whole time, Models-style, no games. She resisted a little so I'd want it that much more.

It was like a fucking dance.

Sex was awesome.
Maybe more so for her.
She was more orgasmic while I was more about connection... she was super affectionate and I really loved that.

Lasted maybe 3 weeks, her just coming to my place/seeing her in school. Then she starts ignoring me. I made it obvious I cared too much.

To top that... over time I
I find all this crap out about her million exes (2 separate ones called while we were in bed on separate occasions, for which of course she has convenient explanations) and yadda yadda.

Then she finally ignores me, right after I send her...compromising, picture. (figured, why not... she asked me to do it, we were teasing back and forth)... the timing seriously couldn't have been worse.

I send her some wussy messages...anger/resentment and then weak apologies. You don't realize how much that kind of thing tests your ego...

I see her 1 last time in person (last day of class)... and she tells me her phone broke. She acts distant, rushed out of class after the final... I had to rush after her to even get a word, and she was even nice then.

I run into her again few days into the next quarter... she has her phone in hand... still acts like nothing happened. (although I waited for her to get out of bathroom and she had tears and asked why I waited... gave me a hug... said she'd text and rushed into her class).

She actually responds to one of the zillion retarded texts I send... saying she wants to meet up.. I don't respond. She says "So why do you never respond when I text you?!"

Thats that... I sent her a zillion more messages, no reply.

This was months ago now. I know it's stupid and I should just move on... but I can't stop thinking about her! I finally deleted all of her off my phone and burned my last remaining copy of her number yesterday (after I ended a 3 week streak of not sending her anything).

I just don't understand how she could just ignore me like that... Not even an attempt at an explanation or something I could accept... just ignoring. And the whole phone breaking thing... that had me still having hope for way too long, like wow... maybe her phone really did break,...even thought I knew that had to have been a lie, I wanted to believe it. Even though I know, if she really cared, she could have borrowed a friends phone, etc.

What the hell do I do. I feel like I'll never find a girl I like (...love ) that much again.

I thought every relationship would be a gain, a step in the right direction. I knew things would end I just thought I could end them on a good note, this, this seems like the worst, most painful way for it to end.

I still have no explanation why.

I just don't know, I'd be willing to hear anything.

[Creatine Dreams]

Lol, kind of like my story.

You probably won't get closure and that sucks.

But I think you dodged a bullet here because she sounds shady.

[Leo]

[Tim]

You definitely made some mistakes here, but sounds like she had plenty of problems of her own. Don't be too harsh on yourself man. Feel for you.

[Creatine Dreams]

Also, Heisenburg this is a gain for you. You learned about yourself. How you react to infatuation. What passion feels like. You will get over her and when you do, you will be stronger for it.

[Zelazny]

Aye. You did your best man. Next time, don't let it hurt you as much. But you did good. You opened up, you were honest. I get the feeling she's unable to cope with that level of intimacy, even though she probably loves it. The bathroom thing shows that she's not able to cope with you emotionally.

It's always the ones that leave you without a clear ending that end up being the ones you doubt about most. You'll run into a healthy girl who can reciprocate it all. And it'll feel even better.

[Zac]

Quote:I thought every relationship would be a gain, a step in the right direction. I knew things would end I just thought I could end them on a good note, this, this seems like the worst, most painful way for it to end.

This is going to be paraphrased because I couldn't find the quote.

Mark once told me that relationships with women are like waves. Basically you ride them. Some last a very long time, some not so long. Some you ride smoothly to shore and land safely on the beach. Some cause you to crash violently and stumble. There will always be another wave to ride, you will never know how it will go, and every wave before that taught you something about waves.

I hope that helps a little. Sorry if I completely butchered that Mark.

IMO, you've gained more from this than you can possibly realize now. You will always learn from this. As sad or frustrated as you may be, it's a small blessing.

[Heisenberg]

I appreciate all the replies; and I dig the surfing metaphor. I've got to add learning to surf to my bucket list.

I was feeling weak and dramatic when I made this, messaging her brought it all back...

It was a blessing in disguise, it gave me the motivation I needed to remove all traces of her number, and I'm thinking that's as close to closure as I'm going to get with this one.

I've gained experience, I've made mistakes, and I've learned a lot. I look forward to jumping back in and hitting the next wave

[Halo Effect]

Your experience sounds similar to an experience I had last year. Your girl and my girl seem to have something in common: a lack of direct communication, openness, and honesty. With my girl, sometimes she would open up, she would tell me how good it felt for her (and that felt amazing), but then the next moment she would close off and I'd be wondering what the hell happened. You were doubting hard where you were at that whole time. You hoped, feared, basically a whole emotional roller coaster, and she didn't care apparently. It's precisely that unavailability on her part that made you obsess over her, I bet.

I also agree with what Zelazny said: "I get the feeling she's unable to cope with that level of intimacy, even though she probably loves it."

Make this a learning experience. Do not close yourself off to the idea of getting close to a girl and feeling these great feelings. Just make sure that your girls in the future do not fear intimicy, do not have trust issues, and can open up to you and be vulnerable with you like you are with them.