Best way to meet women in the day time?

[Tim]

Hey guys, please do your best to suffer through the background details I'll try to keep it brief.

After living in Boston and traveling overseas I've now been back in my hometown for about 7 months, and life has been getting a lot better. After years of being really lost about what I wanted to do, and what I enjoyed, I have a job that's really fulfilling and that I thoroughly enjoy. It's something I plan to do for at least the next few years, and it's giving me a lot of opportunities, so I'm sorted with that.

When I started it I had a heap of bad habits, and was pretty lazy and unproductive. I'd known that for a long time, and recognized that now was the time to try and change that. I buckled down and centered my life around work, ignoring pretty much everything else except the gym. This was a great decision, and I'm now literally 5-6 times more productive than I was when I started here (I used a couple of nifty apps to record my productive time each workday). I'll continue to work harder, and to be more productive, and after overcoming a plateau a few weeks back, there's no sign of that progress slowing down. I'm now ready to get back to a more well-rounded life and improve my dating life by doing things like focusing on being more sexually aggressive, as I know this is a big anxiety I have.

In the past I've met women through a combination of a dynamic social circle, staying in hostels when I travel, and approaching as I go about my day to day life. Now, because most of my friends have left here, I only have a small social circle outside of work. I don't want to invest time and effort in creating a new one, as I plan to move as soon as the start-up I work for becomes slightly more profitable, which should be sometime in the next few months. I've met a few women through my social circle and approaching during the day, but as I said I've been far more focused on work.

Anyway, what I wanted to know is how to meet more women without taking too much time out of my work life. I only go out out once a week, and I've never relied on meeting women at night, so that's not a great option for me. Meeting women as I go about my life is alright, but I don't spend much time outside during the daytime right now. I can work remotely, so I could start hanging out in cafes or other public places more through-out the day, but I know I'm less productive there. I've never devoted much time to going out during the day with the sole intent of approaching, but I guess I could do that. It just seems a little odd to me to be walking the same streets looking for women non-stop. I feel much more comfortable talking to them when I have somewhere to be.

It's pretty apparent to me that I'm going to have to cut back on work somewhere, either by being less productive during the day, or by working shorter hours so I can go out more nights or for a proper time block during the day. For guys who live similarly busy lifestyles, what do you find is the most effective approach? A good social circle would be the most effective for me, but I honestly dread the thought of making an effort there. I've taken yoga classes, french classes, and I go to the gym regularly, and haven't met anyone who I'm interested in being friends with. I'm happy with just the close friends I have for the moment, and I'll make a big effort to establish a new social circle when I move cities permanently, as I did when I was in Boston.

Geez, apologies for the length. My bad.

[freiheitlich]

Just for the Information. Daytime Gaming is not easy. Do not expect quick results.

[Tim]

As a relatively good-looking guy who dresses better and has better body language than most, I've always found daytime easier. Sure if you get the right girl at night time then things tend to progress much faster, but I've also found that it's harder to find those girls, that there's more potential for logistics to mess things up, and it's much harder to turn the conversation to a place of connection and vulnerability, which is my greatest strength right now.

More importantly, it just fits with my life better. In college I could go out all the time, but now I'm limited to one, maybe two nights a week, and often I really just want to enjoy time with friends rather than thinking about what venue is best to be at, should I be approaching, etc. I have good nights every once in a while, but I prefer not to rely on those.

[Jon]

If I could work from a cafe I totally would. I have a friend who, when he was single, met tons of women that way.

[Mark]

I know that was Rob Judge's M.O. once upon time when he was building his business. He never had time to go out at night (it's such an irony how many pick up coaches never go out because they're always too busy with web work, but that's another story...)

Anyway, I know he had a few coffee shops he always worked at and whenever a hot girl came in and sat down next to him, he'd start talking to her. Wasn't much, but over the course of weeks it added up, and he had tons of numbers.

I prefer to work at home, and tend to meet more than enough women going out at night, so I rarely do day game anymore.

[Tim]

Yep, beautiful irony of success with women is that to become an attractive man you need to start doing things like working hard at a job, building a social circle, etc, and then once you achieve that you don't have the same time to enjoy it!

Interesting. I guess if you're in a position like yours where you're converting most of your opportunities then the most important thing for you is to just find those opportunities with as little time and effort as possible, and convert them as quickly as possible. Obviously going out at night to bars you know will have women you're into is preferable to walking around and waiting to run into an opportunity, and then having to potentially wait days for a date.

Mark, something I've wondered for a while is how hard do you find it to get enough sleep and still get work done? If you're going out a couple to a few nights a week, are you waking up late most days? And if so, are you sleeping much longer hours than if you have a reasonable bed time? I tried bi-phasic sleep when I moved home because I wanted to be able to go out 3-4 nights a week and then still be up around 7 or 8 for work, but that never quite worked out for me. I think I'll give it another shot when I move cities though, and want to be able to go out any night of the week.

Going back to the topic at hand, I think my ideal situation would be to have a very large and dynamic social circle, which I keep active both during the day and night, and then meeting women through-out the day as I go about my life and also when I go out at nights with friends. So basically meeting women is totally a side effect of my life, and I only meet women when I'm doing things I would want to be doing otherwise. This is exactly the sort of situation I plan to set up when I next move cities and finally settle down.

For now, I think I can make my work more mobile. I'm going overseas on a business trip for a few days next week, and I'll have to work remotely most of the time I'm over there. So I'll try working at some cafes while I'm there, and see if that's viable for when I get back.

[Mark]

I'm a night owl. I always sleep 7-8 hours a night, but my sleep schedule is usually from 4-5AM until Noon on average. I normally only go out 1-2 times a week these days, not counting dates. It really depends where I am, who I'm with and how busy I am though. Sometimes I don't go out at all for 3-4 weeks at a time. Other times I go out 10 nights in two weeks.

Aside from just preferring night game... if you have good game, I think night game becomes more efficient than day game for people with tight schedules. The problem with day game is there's not a consistent quantity of hot girls. Unless you live in the middle of a huge city (which is the exception), you can never depend on seeing a lot of them in a short amount of time. On top of that, you rarely go past getting a number, so you have to deal with logistics and planning dates out. For me it's just not very fun and a lot of hassle. Whereas in a decent club, you're always going to have at least half a dozen viable options in one place. If your game's tight, then that should be enough to get something interesting going with at least one of them. And on top of that you get to spend a few hours with her, have a good time and party, and sometimes take her home with you. So yeah, I'm like 95% night game these days...

[Tim]

Yep that day game vs night game was pretty much what I said in the paragraph above. For once I was briefer than you in getting out what I wanted to say haha.

Was needing only 7-8 hours of sleep no matter how late you go to bed a learned habit or did it come naturally? For me if I go to bed later than 11 I definitely need more than 8 hours sleep, and I'm probably going to wake up tired no matter how much I get. I need less now than I did in my teens though, so I'm hoping I'll need even less as I grow out of my early 20s.

[Mark]

Pretty much always been 7-8 hours. I'm naturally a night person. Always have been. No matter how tired I am during the day, I can stay up all night. Just in my blood.

Supposedly people need less sleep as they age. Also, supposedly the older you get the more you naturally wake up early. My dad (in his 60's) naturally gets up before dawn every morning, and he said when he was in his 20's he was like me. Always up all night.

[Tim]

Mark Wrote:Pretty much always been 7-8 hours. I'm naturally a night person. Always have been. No matter how tired I am during the day, I can stay up all night. Just in my blood.

Ah ok, that's what I was wondering. If I let myself I can just go to bed later every night, and eventually I won't be tired or able to fall asleep until 3-4 and then I'll wake at midday. Which would be ideal for me if I wanted to go out some nights like I have in the past/will in the future.

But the problem I find is that I get far more tired during the day, I have less focus, and I need that extra hour sleep. Basically, I'm less productive overall.

I think that's the case for most people, but clearly there's an exception for people like you. When I read about people like Obama who only get 5-6 hours sleep and then work all day to late at night I always think they're not being as productive as they could be, because if they went to bed on time they'd be more focused and alert during the day, but maybe that's not the case for a limited number of people. I just wonder if it's genetic or learned.

[Schmechti]

Mark Wrote:I'm a night owl. I always sleep 7-8 hours a night, but my sleep schedule is usually from 4-5AM until Noon on average. I normally only go out 1-2 times a week these days, not counting dates. It really depends where I am, who I'm with and how busy I am though. Sometimes I don't go out at all for 3-4 weeks at a time. Other times I go out 10 nights in two weeks.

Aside from just preferring night game... if you have good game, I think night game becomes more efficient than day game for people with tight schedules. The problem with day game is there's not a consistent quantity of hot girls. Unless you live in the middle of a huge city (which is the exception), you can never depend on seeing a lot of them in a short amount of time. On top of that, you rarely go past getting a number, so you have to deal with logistics and planning dates out. For me it's just not very fun and a lot of hassle. Whereas in a decent club, you're always going to have at least half a dozen viable options in one place. If your game's tight, then that should be enough to get something interesting going with at least one of them. And on top of that you get to spend a few hours with her, have a good time and party, and sometimes take her home with you. So yeah, I'm like 95% night game these days...

Interesting. Most coaches seem to prefer nightgame or at least spent most of their time in bars and clubs. In my city where I live, you can find a lot of hot girls during the day, especially when you go to the shopping streets. What I like with daygame is that I can do it any time, anywhere, and without spending money. I can also choose between more women and see how they look like in their normal life, whereas in clubs you often rate women higher because of their make-up and how they dress. On the other side, nightgame seems to be easier for most people, even though you have a higher competition.

[Mark]

Depends what your goals are. I wouldn't call night game "easier." I think it's easier to meet girls and talk to them during the day time. I think it's easier to get laid and hook up at night. The learning curve is steeper for night game, but I think the pay offs are higher.

Generally, guys who get good at night game have no problem with day game, whereas guys who get good at day game first often struggle a lot with night game. A lot of it's just a personality thing though. I get bored very easily and I love to drink and party. So night game is a natural fit for me.

[Schmechti]

That's true with the goals. I'm not so much into lays but rather in finding a nice girlfriend. I think clubs are not the best place to search for it. But maybe it's just a limiting belief. I'm also more into intelligent girls, like you, because of my own high intelligence. I can't communicate with shallow girls. Just doesn't work for me.

[Jon]

Schmechti - I don't think clubs are the best place to look for a GF, but I don't think they are useless.

I also think that assuming you can only communicate with intelligent girls IS a limiting belief.

[Mark]

I can communicate with dumb girls... I just don't really want to.

[Schmechti]

Mark Wrote:I can communicate with dumb girls... I just don't really want to.

That's what I wanted to say. It's not the girls I'm looking for. That's why I prefer student parties (-> Demographics).

[Jon]

Mark Wrote:I can communicate with dumb girls... I just don't really want to.

Yeah but you know "I can't talk to somebody who isn't smart enough/educated enough" is a rationalization a lot of guys use on the basis of not enough information about a girl. I gotta imagine that was a frequent one for coaching clients. (not saying that 's Schmechti's attitude, I just hear it a lot).

[TheBoss]

I find day game to be so inefficient. I hate doing street approaches. There was one guy from my layer who did 1300 approaches and got laid once. He would have good interaction, girls would be laughing and would be into him. Then he would get their numbers and they would flake.

[Alvar]

Schmechti Wrote:That's what I wanted to say. It's not the girls I'm looking for. That's why I prefer student parties (-> Demographics).

You're also likely to get better results since, in general, educated women seem to value education in a partner more than men do. And if you live in a decent sized city women should be the majority among those with higher education.

[elderado]

(03-03-2012 03:53 AM)TheBoss Wrote:  I find day game to be so inefficient. I hate doing street approaches. There was one guy from my layer who did 1300 approaches and got laid once. He would have good interaction, girls would be laughing and would be into him. Then he would get their numbers and they would flake.

It's not like you HAVE to do street approaches where they are walking in a different direction or walking fast. I don't find that efficient either. But a girl in a store or coffee shop gives you a more relaxed environment to begin with.

Your friend might have just been entertaining them and not really getting to know them beyond a surface level too. Back when I was opening with Brad P's Horsegirl opener and other assorted entertaining funny shit, I was getting a ton of laughs and good reactions but no dates/lays out of it as well.

[freiheitlich]

(03-03-2012 03:53 AM)TheBoss Wrote:  I find day game to be so inefficient. I hate doing street approaches. There was one guy from my layer who did 1300 approaches and got laid once. He would have good interaction, girls would be laughing and would be into him. Then he would get their numbers and they would flake.

Daygame is great to get a super confidence and to destroy your AA, but not to get Layed.

[Lyze]

(03-06-2012 09:02 PM)freiheitlich Wrote:  Daygame is great to get a super confidence and to destroy your AA, but not to get Layed.

Seriously man, stop it. You've only done about 400 approaches and now you tell everybody that Daygame doesn't work/doesn't get you layed. Also I don't really think that you got confident, maybe you didn't have AA but I can't imagine that you were confident and still didn't get a single close.

It doesn't work for YOU and it doesn't get YOU layed.

I've got layed several times, a good friend of mine got layed several times and my best friend gets layed like a rockstar through Daygame.

It get's you layed if you're good at it.
So it works and you're not good at it, accept it.

To Topic:

I my experience the most effective/efficient (especially if you don't have that much time) way in Daygame is to do direct approaches.
It's a high risk/high reward thing. High risk because you don't have much time to convey your personality, so the only things which matter in this case is if you're being confident and if you look good it's also a cool bonus. High reward because if you approach her that way and she likes it, she will be totally into you
So it can get you much more blowouts than if you're approaching indirect but if she likes it, it's really easy to close.

I always say something like:
"Hey sorry one second, I was walking that way and then I saw you and I thought, oh my god she's so cute, so I wanted say hi"

or

"Hey there one second, I just saw you a moment ago and I thought, if I don't talk to you right now I'm going to kick my ass the rest of the day, so hi"

BTW: I always smile when I approach the girls, it's just a little thing but it makes a huge difference IMO.


Lyze

[freiheitlich]

Daygame is NOT about confidence, it is about your Vibe, your Energy and your Feelings toward the woman. If you would do daygame, then you would know it. Your post prove me you are not doing daygame and you have no experiance.

[Lyze]

(03-07-2012 06:12 AM)freiheitlich Wrote:  Daygame is NOT about confidence, it is about your Vibe, your Energy and your Feelings toward the woman. If you would do daygame, then you would know it. Your post prove me you are not doing daygame and you have no experiance.

If you're confident your Vibe becomes smoother, your Energy becomes calm and you are more likely able to convey your feelings because you don't feel nervous instead of being a nervous creeper. So we are talking about the same thing here.

Sorry your statement that I don't do daygame is just ridiculous. Come on man if you don't get results, you should quit being mr. smart and act like everybody knows nothing and you are the jesus of daygame.
I mean really, if you don't stop being a smartass, while everybody tries to help you, then you never can get good at this stuff.

Other question, you are also from the German-speaking area, right?


Lyze

[Mark]

I forgot what the exact quote is, but there's a famous one that says, "The man who thinks he knows everything learns nothing."

Or something like that...