Avoiding traps

[Nero]

Much emphasis is on becoming a better man and attracting women. Are there any articles that help men avoid the women who are only beautiful on the outside who later turn into nightmares in relationships? Maybe she seemed nice, well groomed before when you met but after she became emotionally, physically and mentally draining partner. My good friend Mike is in a relationship like this and he often asks me, How did I ever fall for this girl? Her constant mood swings and resentful behavior leave him feeling miserable and trapped. It hurts me to say it but it's because he was attracted to her good looks and didn't bother to look deeper, at her character/personality.

Could someone refer to an article on how to avoid this messy situation or if none has been written it'd be nice to see something like this.

Thanks,
Nero

[baller08]

(09-07-2012 06:06 PM)Nero Wrote:  My good friend Mike is in a relationship like this and he often asks me, How did I ever fall for this girl? Her constant mood swings and resentful behavior leave him feeling miserable and trapped. It hurts me to say it but it's because he was attracted to her good looks and didn't bother to look deeper, at her character/personality.

Your friend Mike did not get trapped. He cannot Walk Away because he is Desperate and has no Standards. His Trust is completely misplaced.

Note: Women can never trap you, fellas. Only you can trap yourself by the desperation you create when you are not willing to go through the Hardships to make your life fulfilling and give yourself choices. Mike is sitting in a prison with the cell door wide open.

[Matty]

We dont know this Mike fella, so its pretty presumptuous to assume that hes desperate based on a three sentence discription (although that may well be it). I do like the open prison door metaphor though. If i understand you Nero, your talking about early warning signs that the girl might be a trainwreck? This blogger has written extensively on personality disorders (http://therawness.com/my-cluster-b-philosophy/). You'd get a lot out of reading it, and you'd start to see the early warning signs, (although a lot of his writing is pretty dense).

[Jon]

(09-07-2012 06:06 PM)Nero Wrote:  Could someone refer to an article on how to avoid this messy situation or if none has been written it'd be nice to see something like this.

Thanks,
Nero
[/size]

No article needed. Here's the solution.

Dump The Mother Fucker Already.

[TheImptuous]

(09-07-2012 08:11 PM)Matty Wrote:  We dont know this Mike fella, so its pretty presumptuous to assume that hes desperate based on a three sentence discription (although that may well be it). I do like the open prison door metaphor though. If i understand you Nero, your talking about early warning signs that the girl might be a trainwreck? This blogger has written extensively on personality disorders (http://therawness.com/my-cluster-b-philosophy/). You'd get a lot out of reading it, and you'd start to see the early warning signs, (although a lot of his writing is pretty dense).

Second the Rawness. Thought of his site as soon as I saw the words "emotionally draining."

[Mark]

I used to have an article on how to spot girls with low self esteem. It didn't make the cut when I changed to PM, but I could probably do a really good version of that article now.

[Alvar]

^^ Please do.

It's probably not a coincidence that your friend ended up with such partner, he probably screened for those attributes, even if he resents them and if he were to go around and look for new women he'd be seeking similar ones.

There's a couple of negative comments from married guys on the "Pornography can ruin your sex life" blog post that make me cringe. I used to be in their position and, if my ex hadn't had pull the plug 5 years ago, we'd still be trapped in a destructive, miserable relationship. For me, there was no way out. It was like a flea that was once trained in a locked jar and doesn't realise that is now free. You guys who've read No More Mr. Nice Guy probably know what I am talking about.

Afterwards, I went looking for girls like her, dated several until I started improving my life and expecting more from women. But I won't lie, some of these messed up still give me the kicks and my ex can still make me feel guilty when we argue and sort stuff out.

[TooFastForLove]

(09-08-2012 02:04 PM)Mark Wrote:  I used to have an article on how to spot girls with low self esteem. It didn't make the cut when I changed to PM, but I could probably do a really good version of that article now.

That would be awesome. Dating these types of girls is mentally draining and it would be nice if there was a clear cut way to filter them out early on.

[Nero]

That would be great if you could write an article on it.