Attitude: The Importance of it and How it Plays in Your Life

[bwong]

For me, attitude has played a huge role in how I see my own life and this change has only taken place within the last month and a half. I now have a sense of confidence and identity that I never had previously in my life and I'm actually happy to be alive. How many people in this world can say that and truly mean it? Probably quite few and far from many. This change occurred right after I broke up with my ex-girlfriend. We were together for almost two years. We had good times and bad times like any normal couple, but following the last few months I was with her, we were both miserable in as individuals. Both of us we doing badly in school and I (unintentionally) took a semester off from school and was unemployed, having been fired from my previous job. Finally, I had the insight to change and improve myself. I broke up with my girlfriend because neither of us were growing as individuals or as a couple. I've broken up with her before several times, but would always get back together with her due to being insecure with myself. I could only imagine what damage doing this has caused her. However, this final break up was to be the last time that I would do so as I longed for something more of myself.

The Change
After the breakup, I immediately sought to improve the quality of life that I was living. It was the start of a new school semester so I felt somewhat in a decent position again. I wanted to do well and get over the hurdles I was going through at school (this one course I failed 2 times already and stopping me from getting into my 3rd year degree program). I was more motivated and determined to do whatever it takes to be the best version of myself. What I started to do was to focus and study more in my courses, hit the gym to change how I look (I'm 6'2 and super skinny), read more, reconnect with friends, and most important: stop wasting my time playing video games. Fast forward today and I'm still doing everything I sought out to do to improve. It's not even a question of whether I want to do it; I JUST DO IT automatically. No Questions ask. Currently, I got myself an internship job (2 months unpaid unfortunately), I have a long time goal of becoming a life coach as a career within the next 10-15 years, reconnecting with friends that I haven't seen in ages to just enjoy their company, and dating an attractive confident girl who is really into me. I'm not stating any of this to brag but to prove my point: Attitude and how you see yourself matters and is the start to becoming a better you.

So what kind of attitude has let me through to these changes and self improvement? HAVING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND "CAN DO" RESPONSE TO EVERYTHING YOU DO. I now see things as "When one door closes, another door opens" point of view. It's extremely cliche, however it really is true and if you think of your life in that perspective, you are unstoppable. I think Shakespeare said it best: "Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." The way I see it, if I didn't go through a depression for 6 years, while being massively addicted to video games and being a high school dropout, I wouldn't have moved from Toronto to Vancouver. That would mean I wouldn't have gotten closer to my father, I wouldn't have met some awesome people, and I wouldn't have the same goals and confidence that I do now. I've had some pretty shitty emotional baggage which I'm sure everyone in their life has gone through at one point in another. Having an amazing attitude towards things is what got me through it. Not only does it make me a much more attractive person to other people, but life just seems amazing and I can appreciate being alive. Things that use to bother me, no longer trouble me because I know whatever happens and tries to shake me, I'm going to get through it and still love life.

I think people can learn something from my story. The only thing that is stopping you from being the amazing person you want to be is yourself. Change your attitude and you can achieve anything. And honestly, women will respond to you much warmer. If living an authentic life is about being you, think positively because it gives you so much power and control over your life that whatever roadblocks come along, you'll just smash through it easily.

This has only been my experience; any thoughts and comments would be welcomed.

[Tobias]

I can see why you think that way. And it makes total sense to invest in yourself and not to give in to set backs. This can be the result of positive thinking. But positive thinking is not enough and you can delude yourself into thinking everything is fine. And as odd as it may sound, there are a lot of problems with positive thinking if that's everything you are striving for. What else do you want? Happieness? You mention you want to recconnect with you friends. If so, what's the advice you deduce here?

I have the hunch that positive thinking is nothing more than a means to prevent unhealthy believes from crippling you inside. What is harder, deeper and more helpful than positive thinking is to act according to you own will, preferably in a socially intelligent way; to express your intentions uninhibited whereby you possibly incite emotional reactions in yourself and others. Not to give a shit about what anyone thinks of you. How else are you supposed to become happy and to feel like you are good enough for other women? Certainly not by just thinking positively.

[bwong]

Thanks Tobias for your criticism. You did point out a flaw that I forgot to mention, which is what value does someone get from reading my story? I guess to simply put it; your attitude towards things is what motivates you to act. If you have a negative bias towards let's say dancing (i.e dancing isn't masculine), then obviously you aren't going to try it. I'm not saying that positive thinking is the ONLY thing that matters, however it is something that is needed in order to succeed. In order to succeed what you want to achieve you need to believe that you can succeed. In terms of happiness, that's another subject entirely.