Addicted to Porn and Masturbation

[darkknight]

Hi All

I masturbate and watch porn almost everyday and have been doing so for the past 13 years. I am in my mid-20s now. Frankly, I have never had sex before, never had a girlfriend. Do not expect that to happen anytime before 2 more years. Thats how it is with many guys from where I come from. We are still a very conservative society.

I want to get rid of the addiction. So, I have decided to take up the "no-porn" challenge for sixty days. However, I would still continue masturbation on an alternate day basis and then aim for twice a week after a month. I am too addicted to masturbation, far more than porn, so I would to take it slow so that it doesn't affect my daily life drastically.

The only reason I am doing this is to get rid of the addiction and not to improve my sex life(as I don't have one). So, I might be a special case in this forum. Do you think I am on the right track here?

[Chaos]

Any specific reason why you shouldn't go against your "social environment" and just get laid right now? I mean I don't care too much about "conservative" societies... I prefer to get laid and I'm sure there'll be plenty of women around who would be more than wishing for a guy to initiate with them.

[BudCrow]

You need to keep busy. It takes time, but you'll get there.

I've quite for a month now and it's great! I took up PE and sometimes when I do that I masterbate, and I've got it on lock to twice a week now.

As for wait another two years? You know you only have one life right?

Also-do you smoke dope at all?

[Matty]

You can do it either way; give up porn and masturbation at the same time, or just porn first, then cut back on the wanking. Its good that your getting rid of the addiction, it builds will power and character most young guys dont have. You'll also be glad when you finally do have sex and ur able to get it up and not have a failure to launch moment because youve blown out ur dopamine receptors on red tube. Where are you from exactly?

[sexualrevival]

(07-11-2012 12:29 PM)Chaos Wrote:  Any specific reason why you shouldn't go against your "social environment" and just get laid right now? I mean I don't care too much about "conservative" societies... I prefer to get laid and I'm sure there'll be plenty of women around who would be more than wishing for a guy to initiate with them.

my sentiment EXACTLY. He's probably from a society where relationships are arranged. It takes A MASSIVE, alpha male balls to rebel against that and go get your own woman. Plus, the society programmes you through indoctrination at a very early age. They also purposely limit your interaction with the opposite sex through segregation. that's right. segregation like the 1950s. Women have their own quarters in pretty much everything.

To the OP, kick the addiction and then be the exception, not the rule. The human spirit is indomitable.

[TeenWolf550]

I recently decided to kick porn and minimize masturbation about 2 or 3 weeks ago. My advice is as follows

1: Ditch this 60 days thing. Make it a lifetime goal. If you want to put a reward at the end of your 60 days milestone as motivation, go for it! But the 60 days goal makes it seem (to your own mind) like if you get there you will be able to go back to the old ways.

2: Systematically setting it to every other day seems a bit off in my opinion. Your libido will be up and down during this brain chemistry restructuring process. There will be days when you want to go to or three times in a day, other times you may go 3 days without even thinking about it. I suggest a "no more than x times per week mindset" if you dont trust yourself. That allows you to give in to the urge as it comes within a more flexible limitation.

3: Getting rid of porn and masturbation will improve your sex life. That desire to masturbate will turn into the desire to just bend a chick over a table and go to town. If all goes well that desire to get laid should became more important than whatever anxieties might be holding you back right now.

4: I believe I saw somewhere where Mark suggested only using lubrication to masturbate. It is tough at first if you are used to dry runs, but I decided to hold by that rule and it has done good things for me. Since there no "quick ones" because you have to have it on hand and you need to take a little bit of time to clean up, you have to make it a bit more of a "pampering" yourself type thing aka slower and more sensual.

5: Only fantasize about real women. If you are thinking of porn you have committed to memory, you may as well be watching it thus defeating the purpose.

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That is pretty much all I can think of at present. Best of luck my friend! Don't get discouraged if you slip up. Just start again tomorrow and reset the countdown clock on your 60 day reward to yourself!

---

One other piece of advice: delete any and all porn from your computer. Watch it one last time if you must and then DELETE it and empty your trash so it's gone forever. It is way too easy to go back to "an old friend". DELETE THAT SHIT!

[Joey]

I was addicted to porn into my early twenties. Then I started talking with women, dating, kissing etc... For me porn was just not appealing anymore after having the real thing. Anytime Pornography pops up I'm actually turned off by it. Because I can a obviously see when a woman is faking her emotions and her lack of intimacy, it bores me... There is no passion, just robotic noises and movements. The sex really is no big deal to them, just hollow actions w/ one time strangers... nothing lost and nothing gained. Apathy is the chief mark pornography films.

[totallyyours]

As others suggested, PMO is only an escape from real human experiences: friendship, marriage, joy, and sacrifice. It's a way to use people sexually (real or imagined) and turns us into selfish and self-gratifying beings. Free yourself. There's lots of men out here who are with you on this journey to become more human. Men have lost their way over the past 50 years in western society but we're finding our way back again.

[Borges]

(11-12-2012 08:43 PM)TeenWolf550 Wrote:  I recently decided to kick porn and minimize masturbation about 2 or 3 weeks ago. My advice is as follows

1: Ditch this 60 days thing. Make it a lifetime goal. If you want to put a reward at the end of your 60 days milestone as motivation, go for it! But the 60 days goal makes it seem (to your own mind) like if you get there you will be able to go back to the old ways.

2: Systematically setting it to every other day seems a bit off in my opinion. Your libido will be up and down during this brain chemistry restructuring process. There will be days when you want to go to or three times in a day, other times you may go 3 days without even thinking about it. I suggest a "no more than x times per week mindset" if you dont trust yourself. That allows you to give in to the urge as it comes within a more flexible limitation.

3: Getting rid of porn and masturbation will improve your sex life. That desire to masturbate will turn into the desire to just bend a chick over a table and go to town. If all goes well that desire to get laid should became more important than whatever anxieties might be holding you back right now.

4: I believe I saw somewhere where Mark suggested only using lubrication to masturbate. It is tough at first if you are used to dry runs, but I decided to hold by that rule and it has done good things for me. Since there no "quick ones" because you have to have it on hand and you need to take a little bit of time to clean up, you have to make it a bit more of a "pampering" yourself type thing aka slower and more sensual.

5: Only fantasize about real women. If you are thinking of porn you have committed to memory, you may as well be watching it thus defeating the purpose.

////////

That is pretty much all I can think of at present. Best of luck my friend! Don't get discouraged if you slip up. Just start again tomorrow and reset the countdown clock on your 60 day reward to yourself!

---

One other piece of advice: delete any and all porn from your computer. Watch it one last time if you must and then DELETE it and empty your trash so it's gone forever. It is way too easy to go back to "an old friend". DELETE THAT SHIT!

Regarding #1 I think that the 60 day mile stone makes you go through a period where you just feel like utter shit, because no matter what you do, you CAN'T watch porn for 60 days. That's a pretty long time for someone who watches it every day and will harden you to some degree. Making this a 60 day goal reduces your uges to watch therefore makes it a life goal sooner, rather than watching it twice a week for x months..then once a week for x months, etc.