A girl I like..and a complicated story

[Prague]

I'm writing here as it might help makes things clearer, and I'd love to hear your feedback about what, if anything, I can do about this girl I like:

In short I met a girl (24) who I choose to speak to me in Czech over the summer. Czech conversation (I live in Prague), for about $10 an hour.

However, it became more than just simple 'conversation.'

It was her suggestion that we go to the pool, etc, and with each hour we spent, I got more and more flirty, and interested in her.

Over a week ago we kissed in a bar.

Then she said afterwards that she didn't want a relationship and didn't want anything.

The complication is that she had a boyfriend, but a few weeks ago she walked in on him with another woman.

However, because she has no money, she still stayed with him.

Last week I got her a Brazilian bikini-tanga which I wanted to see her wear, and the next day she cooked for me. She was on my couch, her legs were over mine, and I was holding her intimately.

So although she said she didn't want anything, we got on great the whole time, and she seemed interested in me.

Everything came to a head yesterday. We went on a day trip, and the first thing we did was go to the pool. She indeed wore that Brazilian tanga I got her, and she flirted with me, but pushed me away again when I went for the kiss.

Instead, it was a 'peck' back and she said she saw us as 'friends.'

Ending it
I then said I didn't like this situation, and that I didn't want to continue with these conversation sessions, as I wanted more with her.

I said I wanted to see her normally.

So it's beyond clear she knows I'm interested in her, probably as a potential girlfriend.

But because she's desperate to move out of her flat with the boyfriend, and because I made some kind of guarantee about our hours, I gave her about $300 and said she can pay me back whenever.

I wrote down my account number too so that she could even deposit it into my account without 'having' to see me.

The boyfriend shows up
The boyfriend/ex DROVE all the way to this little town because he was so jealous of me.

It made him look like an idiot, of course.

She then said she was over him, and that she's looking forward to leaving him.

On Monday she's meant to move in to another place with a friend.

Regarding us, we've got on really well the whole time.

On the train back, after all this drama, we still continued to get on well. That's the funny thing - we have a nice rapport together. I was calm and cool, and she was still a little chatty despite having a lot on her plate.

I understand she needs to sort things out - move out of the flat with her ex-boyfriend, and to also find a job.

She's also had a rough, terrible year or two, with both her parents dying. She was also in hospital for 2 months after being hit by a tram.

I admire the way she handles things. She comes across as sunny in a world which has been dark.

We said goodbye at the train station, we shared a warm hug and a kiss.

She knows I like her, but I think the next step if any is up to her.

*

Any thoughts?

[baller08]

Prague -

If you have not already done so read "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. If you have then read it again much more carefully.

You got played. Plain and simple. You have on your hands a woman that will drag your life down to the dirt while whispering sweetly in your ears the whole time. Cease all contact immediately.

This is the type of woman you would avoid a relationship with at all cost even if someone paid you.

Don't try to have "closure" or feel that she "needs you". Stop answering her calls and cease all contact right away.

[Prague]

Hi Baller

Thanks a lot for taking the time to look at this. In fact, I read NMMNG a few years back, and then Mark suggested I re-read it again. I didn't, but today I'm listening to one or two of his podcasts. I'll make it my task to re-read the book too.

I am open to hearing what you really think. How did I get played?

I do know that it isn't a good situation, in fact I remember saying to one of my friends at the very start that this is potentially messy.

On a positive note, I ended our official 'conversation lessons' yesterday and she has no reason to keep in touch if she doesn't want to.

I guess I'll learn more about this with time, as when you're in the middle of it you don't see some things as clearly.

[Edmond Dantès]

What Baller said. You got played, she used you for your time, gifts and money and to distract her about the breakup with her boyfriend.

She was never really interested in you otherwise she would have recipicated your advances and both of you would have had sex together.

Do yourself a favor and don't just reread No more Mr. Nice Guy. Absorb the ideas of the book by writing summaries about the chapters of it.
Ask yourself critical questions about each topic like "What are some characteristics I can identify myself with? Has this happened to me before? Who of the guys that are mentioned in the book, are the ones I can identify with?" Do the exercises in the book and you'll reclaim your nuts as a man.

I'm giving you this advice because I've had a similiar experience. It isn't pleasant, but use it is a negative example, how it shouldn't be. Learn from this experience, then it won't be a mistake. It's just a mistake, if you don't learn from it.

And be clear about your intentions with a women before you interact with her. If you're clear with who you are as a man and what you want to do you with her and you communicate it to her in an honest, non-apologetic way, you'll have a better time with women.

Here is a video, I've seen yesterday. I liked it a lot and it's related to the topic.

[Prague]

Thanks, that video is some tough love. Lol.

My instinct yesterday was to say this has to stop as I liked her more than as a 'friend' and I'm at least glad that everyone agrees.

Re: money, I hired her to speak to me in Czech for about 12 hours or so a week, that's how we met. So money was an issue, but we were both careful to keep costs down and I got her the tanga simply as an experiment in escalation once I made it known I liked her.

And I did escalate with her, we did in fact kiss in a cafe bar about a week ago, but once I could see it was going nowhere further, I called it off.

This btw is good advice, I'll add some notes during the week:

Quote:Do yourself a favor and don't just reread No more Mr. Nice Guy. Absorb the ideas of the book by writing summaries about the chapters of it.

Ask yourself critical questions about each topic like "What are some characteristics I can identify myself with? Has this happened to me before? Who of the guys that are mentioned in the book, are the ones I can identify with?"

[Prague]

Hey one thing I can be sure of - I am now totally ok to escalate on the first date with women.

Tonight had a date with a girl who was a '7' during the day and ended up being damn hot this evening. She was STUNNING in make up and dress and so on.

She didn't seem interested to be honest but I touched her a lot and went for the kiss.

That in itself is progress.

Btw has anyone had a date who 'role played'? She said she was a vampire. I went along with it, but tbh she seemed like a crazy party girl, while I'm not the party type.

Still, deep down I think she was sweet.

It made me realise that I should keep going with the approaches, and I'll meet someone compatible soon.

So all up, I'm probably a 'recovering Nice Guy' with some progress made, and some steps still to take.

[Alexander]

Prague,

Rock on. Well done man. You're on a good path and the stuff with your tutor is good medicine.

Keep us updated.