30-year-old virgin, blind first dates, what next?

[baller08]

Kaizen -

You don't need encouragement or advice. You've already got more than enough of both.

There are only 2 things you wrote here that has any real relevence.

One...

Quote:But more importantly, even when I go out with the intention of approaching girls, l'm not quite sure what to ask -- I juggle between what Baller's second exercise was, what Halo Effect suggested, and another idea of mine. Always unsure which one to do, and by that time the girl passes by. Unlike the first exercise where I knew exactly what to ask (and it was made easier by the fact that I was not really asking for their number), this time around I go out without clarity in my head and stall every time.

Guys who are fearful but who read 101 ways to approach end up feeling like you. That's why I gave you 1 exercise. It wasn't a "ridiculous" question. It was an interesting one but more importantly it took the "what do I say" out of the equation. That's why I gave you the follow up exercise. You didn't do it.

So here is your solution: Start over. Approach 10 more women, then approach 10 more with the follow up exercise. Do this for 3 days straight. Then for the next 3 days do Halo's exercise. Then ask yourself which one works best for you.

Again....

Quote:Now all that being said, in itself, whether you try my approach or Halo's approach matters very little. These are just exercises and a vehicle in which to engage people you don't know. What matters is the background work you do with your fitness, your financial goals, your hobbies, your mindset of yourself as a man.

It is those background activities that fuels these "approaches". That is why we always say over and over again, it's not what you say but how you say it.

Have you done any background work recently to improve your lifestyle and self esteem?

Two...

Quote:We talked nicely for two hours before she was ready to call it a night, but as you can see there wasn't much about more personal stuff and things to build intimacy. I had gone into this date thinking that I would try to kiss my first date this time, but that energy and vibe was just not there. We parted with a hug.

There was plenty to build intimacy....you just pussied out.

Besides, you don't need intimacy to kiss a girl...it's just a kiss. When you're on a date, always go for that kiss within the first hour.

Your thoughts are once again incorrect. You're ashamed of your sexuality. We said this to you almost month ago:

Quote:Your interest does not decline. That's your fear of being rejected sexually or not performing well so you convinced yourself you don't want to try. Call it defensive mechanism or sour grapes, whatever you call it it's simply fear in disguise.

You think kissing, touching, and sex is a favor a woman grants you....that she doesn't like or want it. If you knew that girl wanted to kiss you, then you would have kissed her.

Women don't go on dates and say to her friends, "Gosh, I really hope he doesn't try to kiss me and I really hope I feel nothing for him. It would be great to not feel any excitement or attraction for him! I just hope we never have sex."

When you pussy out like you did, you feel like shit, she goes home disappointed, everyone loses.

Here is your rule of thumb - You push till the girl stops you. FAR better to go too far and let the girl stop you then for you to stop yourself. You lose respect for yourself and she loses TONS of respect for you.

That's one BIG lesson a lot of guys here can take from Thor....the man pushes till the women stop him. That is a huge factor in his recent improvements. He fears the rejection but does it anyway.

[dosstx]

(04-30-2012 07:38 PM)youregettingitwrong Wrote:  I once dated this guy briefly who after each date, would CALL me while I was driving home and would tell me he enjoyed himself and would ask me if I wanted to get together again. I have never felt so comfortable and secure with a guy. Albeit, it didn't last because there were some big time cultural differences, but just as an example, if I could get every guy I date to this same thing it would make things a hell of a lot easier.

Only works if you already like the guy If you are not attracted to him, any other guy that calls will be labeled a creep, right?