I’ve said this before (two years ago), and I said it again (year and a half ago) and then even again(a month ago), but for some reason I STILL get guys coming to me and trying to start an argument about this as if it’s a huge epiphany… that being good-looking helps you with women.

Well, no shit.

Looks definitely matter. The idea that they don’t is a myth in the PUA industry that’s always bugged me and I’ve been stating it for years now. I’ve gotten laid a number of times purely on my looks and I don’t even think I’m that great looking. And I always get a kick out of newer guys who get laid a lot because they’re good-looking, but they convince themselves that it was their expert usage of PUA tactics that got them a girl.

It really is a testament to Neil Strauss’s book and the marketing in that industry that “being good-looking helps” is still treated as an epiphany or a contentious topic. I mean, Neil probably didn’t even realize it at the time, but the fact that he was a writer for Rolling Stone and wrote best-selling books on Marilyn Manson and Motley Crue probably did more to get him laid than any tactics he thought he was successfully employing. Hell, he still may not even realize it.

But anyway… I digress.

Of course they matter. But in the long-run, they don’t matter that much. Sure, you’ll get more looks and your approaches will be better received, but if you still sound like an idiot or a weirdo when you open your mouth, that all goes out the window. I can’t tell you how many female friends I’ve heard utter the words, “He was so hot, until he started talking.” The fact remains that unlike men, most women won’t just hop into bed with a guy because he’s good-looking, they still need to be charmed and seduced. Looks just give a guy a bigger opportunity.

But really, I don’t think there’s a whole lot of reason to worry about looks that much. A lot of guys like to make a big deal about them and blame them for their failures. I think they’re just making excuses. I see no reason to get hung up on it. As long as you’re dressing well and taking care of yourself, there’s not a whole lot you can do. Like anything else in life, do the best you can with what you’ve got. I’ve seen short, ugly guys get ridiculously hot girls many times. I’ve seen guys who look like male models go home with slop or nothing many times. At the end of the day, it’s just another piece of a much larger puzzle, not the puzzle itself.

All looks are is an advantage. Just like dancing well is an advantage. Having money is an advantage. Living in Manhattan is an advantage. Being a club promoter is an advantage. Having a degree from a good school is an advantage. Playing in a rock band is an advantage. Speaking multiple languages is an advantage. Knowing the owner of a strip club is an advantage. Being a DJ is an advantage… yada yada yada. We could go on forever.

None of them guarantee that you get girls. All it guarantees is that you don’t have to work as hard as the next guy.

The reason I’m making such a big deal in a post about this is because guys tend to always over-estimate this. Over the last year, I dropped about 35 pounds, going from chubby, slightly overweight, and out of shape, to pretty thin and toned. Do I get more looks? Yeah. Do my approaches go better? I guess. But honestly, my results are only slightly better than they were before.

To be honest, the biggest advantage I’ve developed over the last year is speaking another language. I’m very good at speaking Spanish now and speak a little bit of Russian and a little Portuguese.

Since being back in the US, any Latina, Russian or Ukrainian I’ve met, I speak 3-4 sentences to them in their native language and it’s pretty much game over from there. MUCH bigger advantage than anything else I’ve found yet. So screw looks, I’d rather be multilingual.

Opt In Image
Are You Frustrated By Women?

Get your dating life handled. Become an attractive man once and for all, without faking it or pretending to be someone you’re not.

Models: Attract Women Through Honesty has been referred to as the best book in the field by many, and has received five-star reviews from all over the world.

Print Friendly
Tagged with →  

7 Responses to Do Looks Attract Women?

  1. Kevin says:

    What always gets me about appearances is girls can think a wide variety of male ‘looks’ are attractive. I still find myself falling into thinking that I can’t be good looking since I’m not a stereotypical clean cut Abercrombie model type.

    I guess it’s equivalent to how guys don’t only go for tall thin blonds. Sometimes they’re attracted to curvy girls, nerdy girls, waifish girls, punky girls, etc.

    I’m tall and my face is okay looking, but I’m also ridiculously skinny, have a big nose, a weak chin, and am too young looking for my age. But girls still tell me I’m cute or hot pretty often.

    I guess even though I could look at myself in the mirror and *know* my looks are a handicap, and that they should keep my from having girls into me, my real world experiences don’t seem to confirm that, so I’m trying to trust that instead.

  2. Entropy says:

    Guys blow this out of proportion just like women do. There have been times where I thought a girl was attractive, but once I got to know her shitty attitude it completely turned me off. There have been some mediocre looking girls who were just so awesome and fun that it made them seem far more attractive than they were.

    Everyone’s different. No matter who you are, there are going to be women out there who find you physically attractive and women out there who find you repulsive. There are women who find the muscle-bound jock guys disgusting, and I’ve even met a couple of women who really like to date guys who are shorter than them. Back when I had a little bit of a beer belly, I dated a few girls who said they like it on men. I’ve dated girls who wanted me to shave my chest and others who love a hairy man. It takes all kinds to make the world.

    Looking back at some of my relationships, I’ve dated some girls who told me, “I thought you were so hot when I saw you, I knew I’d hook up with you.” But on the other hand, I’ve also dated some girls who told me, “I didn’t think you were very cute and I thought you were a little obnoxious. But you were persistent and very funny, so I guess you grew on me.” In fact, my last ex-girlfriend, to this day still says she didn’t find me attractive at all when she met me and that she has no idea how it happened.

  3. sandros says:

    Im glad you pointed this out.
    For many many guys strongly for new guys this belief can go extremes….the wrong and community beliefs of “looks dont matter” can really hurt a guy in his skill , social calibration and inner beliefs about himself.

    So ideally , It ISNT OK to be a slob …ofcourse you mentioned work on yourself,in every way which is good.

    I want to admit I was never told i had to lose weight and make myself look and feel better, kept with community beliefs of looks dont matter money dont matter and I let it fuck me up big time.

    After all this and getting coaching, with Entropy….things started really balancing out for me.

    I think its guys take to extremes of negativity that hurts them and look for a temporary solution to compensate for it.

    Having GAME is awesome and you could do better thatn most goodlooking guys ,no doubt.

  4. Madamada says:

    Damn good post !

    It’s funny to realize that guys tend to digress look as much as girls hate mechanics. I mean, just take any average girl on the street from your city, her look will probably be 100000² times better than any normal guy. Either it is about “cuteness”, “sexiness”, or “hotness”, a girl knows where her leverage is and emphasizes it better than anyone. I could be wrong, but I’ve rarely seen a girl in oversized clothes or baggy jeans (unless for cuteness).

    The community simply misunderstand this concept to both extreme (from the peacoking concept to get attention to the “just be yourself and feel comfortable” to cover up the flaws) rather than analyzing it in a finer perspective. Clothes and look are a bit taboo in men’s culture, especially for guys who tend to reduce the concept to “shopping” and “vanity”. How could you blame for it since we are rarely allowed to choose our own clothes, either from your mom who decide what to wear when you go to school to your girlfriend, because she’s afraid you’ll be seen as lame by her friends ?

    I guess clothes (look is a piece of whole as Entropy underlined) is just as important as workout of your hobby and studies. It defines who you really are, but are just means to draw out your personality in a better way. In short, don’t try to become the unrealistic alpha guy Brad Pitt create from the infamous movie, rather, become the hot, normal neighbour your girl next door fantasize about when she comes back from work.

  5. wingman says:

    You’re absolutely right, bud. It goes back to this talk about different types of attraction. Looking better heightens your natural attraction, which means you don’t have to work as much to get the girl. Within that level, you have genetically-based attraction (natural good looks) and active-based attraction (going to the gym, taking care of yourself, dressing well, etc.). The same can run across the board (money, intellect [knowing languages does wonders], status, etc.) There are inherited attributes and there are attributes you can acquire by doing some work. I personally don’t take anything for granted so I work on everything.

    In the end, the more you do, the less work you’ll have to do later to get the girl.

  6. Nick says:

    You are spot on about this Mark, looks do matter for the approaches to be treated more warmly. I think i’m a decent looking guy and most of my approaches are responded politely (not always, you can’t please everybody) even when they don’t like me. Its an advantage no doubt but your alot better being ugly and confident then good looking and shy.

  7. Agreed. I speak Spanish, Russian and a dabble of Arabic, Chinese and few others… this hands down makes all the difference. A foreign hottie is at bar, one guy comes up with a shit hot scripted routine, she responds well. The other guy comes up, finds out where she from and starts speaking her lingua, she responds with even more gusto. Being a polyglot had got me laid countless times.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *