I’ve said this before (two years ago), and I said it again (year and a half ago) and then even again(a month ago), but for some reason I STILL get guys coming to me and trying to start an argument about this as if it’s a huge epiphany… that being good-looking helps you with women.
Well, no shit.
Looks definitely matter. The idea that they don’t is a myth in the PUA industry that’s always bugged me and I’ve been stating it for years now. I’ve gotten laid a number of times purely on my looks and I don’t even think I’m that great looking. And I always get a kick out of newer guys who get laid a lot because they’re good-looking, but they convince themselves that it was their expert usage of PUA tactics that got them a girl.
It really is a testament to Neil Strauss’s book and the marketing in that industry that “being good-looking helps” is still treated as an epiphany or a contentious topic. I mean, Neil probably didn’t even realize it at the time, but the fact that he was a writer for Rolling Stone and wrote best-selling books on Marilyn Manson and Motley Crue probably did more to get him laid than any tactics he thought he was successfully employing. Hell, he still may not even realize it.
But anyway… I digress.
Of course they matter. But in the long-run, they don’t matter that much. Sure, you’ll get more looks and your approaches will be better received, but if you still sound like an idiot or a weirdo when you open your mouth, that all goes out the window. I can’t tell you how many female friends I’ve heard utter the words, “He was so hot, until he started talking.” The fact remains that unlike men, most women won’t just hop into bed with a guy because he’s good-looking, they still need to be charmed and seduced. Looks just give a guy a bigger opportunity.
But really, I don’t think there’s a whole lot of reason to worry about looks that much. A lot of guys like to make a big deal about them and blame them for their failures. I think they’re just making excuses. I see no reason to get hung up on it. As long as you’re dressing well and taking care of yourself, there’s not a whole lot you can do. Like anything else in life, do the best you can with what you’ve got. I’ve seen short, ugly guys get ridiculously hot girls many times. I’ve seen guys who look like male models go home with slop or nothing many times. At the end of the day, it’s just another piece of a much larger puzzle, not the puzzle itself.
All looks are is an advantage. Just like dancing well is an advantage. Having money is an advantage. Living in Manhattan is an advantage. Being a club promoter is an advantage. Having a degree from a good school is an advantage. Playing in a rock band is an advantage. Speaking multiple languages is an advantage. Knowing the owner of a strip club is an advantage. Being a DJ is an advantage… yada yada yada. We could go on forever.
None of them guarantee that you get girls. All it guarantees is that you don’t have to work as hard as the next guy.
The reason I’m making such a big deal in a post about this is because guys tend to always over-estimate this. Over the last year, I dropped about 35 pounds, going from chubby, slightly overweight, and out of shape, to pretty thin and toned. Do I get more looks? Yeah. Do my approaches go better? I guess. But honestly, my results are only slightly better than they were before.
To be honest, the biggest advantage I’ve developed over the last year is speaking another language. I’m very good at speaking Spanish now and speak a little bit of Russian and a little Portuguese.
Since being back in the US, any Latina, Russian or Ukrainian I’ve met, I speak 3-4 sentences to them in their native language and it’s pretty much game over from there. MUCH bigger advantage than anything else I’ve found yet. So screw looks, I’d rather be multilingual.